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  1. #1
    Garda's Avatar
    Garda is offline Policing with nothing but a smile
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    Some advice for civilians

    Heres some advice for civilians that based on my work, I feel is needed.

    A, When you see tape with 'Police crime scene - Do not enter' that does in fact mean YOU.

    B, The above tape is not a request for you too imagine your Carl Lewis or Linford Christie and no, I dont find your impersonation funny.

    C, The tape is designed to keep people out of a certain area, when in public that means a road or path. It is in fact NOT a fun obstacle course that we built out of boredom. The various items inside under sheets, etc are not for jumping over or running around. They are evidence.

    D, Unless you are in a police uniform or have a police badge AND a good reason for entering your not allowed in. Being curious, interested, tired, bored or on holiday are not more important or valid reasons.

    E, I will NOT tell you what happened, who the victim was nor if we arrested anyone. Again, see the above.

    F, I do not want you too keep me company nor do I find your drunken stories and wit amusing. I do however find them stupid and annoying.

    G, The police car siren and lights are activated for a reason, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! And yes, we will allow you to go slightly through a red light in order to do this. Its an emergency, we wont stop to give you a god damn ticket.

    H, You do NOT pay my wages and are NOT entitled to make demands or give me orders.

    I, You are NOT the most important person in the world and your lost phone/wallet is NOT the most serious crime ever. Sometimes you will just have to wait.

    J, I will not arrest 6 people because they looked at you funny nor will I treat you seriously because you only had 10 pints.

    K, You are NOT allowed demand my name. I have a shoulder number for a reason, use it.

    L, If you are the victim of crime I am trying to help you. Do not tell me how too do my job, I do it everyday and know how to catch criminals having undergone more training than watching Cops and CSI.

    M, If you are the victim of crime I am trying to help you. Do not shout at me or insult me because I am the same colour or nationality as the person that robbed or assaulted you. Besides the obvious, its also a stupid idea to insult an entire nation when your in said nation.

    N, Shouting at me that your hurt or that you need the ambulance now will not make it go any faster nor can I pull one out of my ass. Sit the fuck still, stop shouting and jumping around like a fucking baby and let me treat your injuries.

    O, We are not taxi cabs. We do NOT give lifts home nor will we stop a taxi for you because your more important than the other 100,000 people that are actually in the taxi Q.

    P, The reason I am talkiing to you is not because your black, Chinese or a bloody Martian, its because you broke the law or we have had a complaint against you.

    Q, Yes we would speak to a Blackman, Chinese or Martian like this.

    R, The next time you accuse me of being racist consider who mentioned and noted skin colour first.

    S, If you were robbed or found your car/bike missing, try reporting it. We do arrest people and find these things you know.

    T, If you are assaulted, report it at the time not 1 week later. The reason the cop that was across the road isnt anymore is because he has chased and arrested the person that hit you. DO NOT get into a taxi then bitch about the cops never being there.

    U, No, we do not stamp and sign insurance forms when you didnt actually report your property robbed or damaged. Were not bloody insurance agents and no, I wont take the report 1 month later just so you can claim insurance.

    V, If its the weekend and your neighbours are having a party, DO NOT call us, you can knock on a door and ask them nicely to turn it down just as well as we can.

    W, Finally, if you break these rules I WILL shout at you, I may well curse at you and yes, I will be physical with you. Grow some bloody personal responsibility and accept it.
    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie
    Hey thanks Garda - I did think of you last night as I was lying in bed

  2. #2
    lesta311's Avatar
    lesta311 is offline Evil is my business.......
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    Good advice. Too bad the people that need it the most cannot comprehend that many words.

  3. #3
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
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    Sounds like someone had a rough night and said everything we all want to say.
    ]

  4. #4
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    So, Garda, who pissed in your wheaties, bud? There was a lot of built-up anger in that. Do you need a hug?
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  5. #5
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    " Garda
    Policing with nothing but a smile "

    As long as you do it with a smile>

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  6. #6
    OfficerResource.com's Avatar
    OfficerResource.com is offline Site Administrator
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    Leave it to the Irishman. Can't even finish the alphabet. where is X Y Z?

  7. #7
    Garda's Avatar
    Garda is offline Policing with nothing but a smile
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    Yes, it was a bad night. Idiots sitting there looking at you in their rear mirrors with blank expressions.
    Finally got to the assault only to have the Polish guy shouting, screaming and threatening me because an Irishman bottled his wife. Of course he would then hug her and push me away when I tried to tend to the injury.

    His friend shouting 'Wheres the ambulance, we need it' I fucking know that dickhead!

    Finally having to preserve the scene only for the 100 or so dicks as per above. There is without a doubt a complaint coming for the 10 minute torrent of abuse and curses I let loose at the last drunk.

    And finally the London man who I 'victimised' because hes a black Englishman. No, its cause your standing in the middle of the road stopping traffic and shouting. Thats also why the Taxi wouldnt take you.****

    ****On that note I got revenge, stopped at the taxi ranks and warned them that the black English guy is aggressive and not too take him. Ha ha, take that you trumped up asshole!
    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie
    Hey thanks Garda - I did think of you last night as I was lying in bed

  8. #8
    Andrewtx's Avatar
    Andrewtx is offline A little bit of soul
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    Garda,

    Your sig line is still hilarious.

  9. #9
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reca
    Leave it to the Irishman. Can't even finish the alphabet. where is X Y Z?
    Hey, watch yourself. Just cuz some of us aren't in Ireland, doesn't mean we dont' play for the same team.

    (not gay....irish)
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

 

 

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