Welcome to the APBWeb.
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058

    How to speed up your rebound

    Dating & Relating

    How to speed up your rebound
    By Bob Strauss

    There’s a classic episode of The Simpsons in which family patriarch Homer — thinking he’s just been poisoned by a piece of sushi — rushes through the five stages of impending death in 20 seconds flat (acceptance: “Well, we’ve all got to go sometime!”) While I normally wouldn’t propose Homer Simpson as a healthy role model, his get-it-over-with-quick attitude can come in handy for another type of near-death experience: The sudden (or lingering) end of a relationship. Here’s how to bounce back so quickly from your failed romance that your friends will think you’re made of Flubber:

    Spend a few days wallowing. Rather than let random photographs, top 40 radio, or knock-knock jokes tip you into suicidal depressions for years to come, set aside a long weekend to get all that sentimental excess out of the way. After you’ve listened to “Gold Digger” for 48 hours straight, memories of your ex will be the least of your problems.

    Get rid of the evidence. Up until a dozen or so years ago, de-exing your place was a simple matter of ripping pictures out of their frames (or, if you were feeling especially vindictive, excising your ex’s face with a pair of scissors). But today’s technology demands that you expunge her digital visage from your laptop, re-record her voice greeting on your answering machine, and eliminate her favorite mp3’s from your iPod. Remember: The sooner you forget what she looks and sounds like, the sooner you’ll be ready to return to the dating scene.

    Adopt a dog. As a lifelong cat owner, I’m not one of those people who believe that walking a Labradoodle is a surefire shortcut to meeting the love of your life. No, the reason I recommend a canine companion is that, unlike your average standoffish Persian, a sad-eyed beagle is a bottomless well of dependency that will eagerly soak up all the affection you’d normally lavish on you-know-who. And once all your excess emotion is wrung out, you can keep the dog and get a new, better boyfriend, too.

    Take up a hobby. If you’ve always wanted to cultivate bonsai trees or stage your own Renaissance fair, now’s the time to follow your dream (technically, you should have been doing this during your relationship, too, but that’s a subject for another article). As with the dog option, above, the point is to focus your surplus energy on an activity that rewards, rather than discourages, a manic attention to detail. And if it’s a hobby that gets you out there and mingling with new people, so much the better: You can distract yourself from your psychic pain and make new contacts all at once.

    Network. No, you don’t want to go out on a date too soon, but knowing there are available singles somewhere out there (after all, your Aunt Sylvia has been waiting to set you up for the last 10 years) will put you into a “getting on with your life” frame of mind. At least write down the phone numbers, even if you don't plan to call for a while.

    Go into therapy. Seriously. Many people have a misconception of therapy as a protracted, years-long process that spins the slightest threads of feeling into whole emotional sweaters. However, financial pressure on the part of health insurance companies has resulted in a trend toward “quick-fix” shrink-age, whereby patients are taught behavioral techniques for coping with their problems in a mere handful of sessions. If your breakup has thrown you into a genuine, debilitating funk, you should consider this as a serious option.

    Bob Strauss is a New York-based writer and author of The Big Book of What, How and Why. Email him your thoughts here.




    Or you could just go out and hook up with another badge bunny.



    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  2. #2
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    It's a joke read the punch line.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  3. #3
    Emily is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    676
    Rep Power
    275724
    OR just don't date cops. They're nothin but trouble.

  4. #4
    Iron Man's Avatar
    Iron Man is offline Don't Tase me bro!
    Join Date
    12-07-05
    Posts
    1,959
    Rep Power
    130329
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    OR just don't date cops. They're nothin but trouble.

    This message was brought to you by Tampons. We
    aren't the best thing in the world but we are right up
    there next to it.


    To them its always 'scary and aggressive' driving. To us its at times a matter of life and death." -LawnMM

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmYie3bB3OU

  5. #5
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    OR just don't date cops. They're nothin but trouble.
    Yeah but; we're so much fun, sexy and cute.





    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  6. #6
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019285
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    OR just don't date cops. They're nothin but trouble.
    Yeah. Cuz no other profession in the world has guys that are assholes. Just cops. Coffee, please? All guys can be assholes. But not all. And definately not all cops. Just a lot of us choose to be.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  7. #7
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295281
    Date a cop 'cause we get to bring the toys home with us.
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  8. #8
    Emily is offline Corporal
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    676
    Rep Power
    275724
    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu
    Yeah. Cuz no other profession in the world has guys that are assholes. Just cops. Coffee, please? All guys can be assholes. But not all. And definately not all cops. Just a lot of us choose to be.
    Rough night?

    I was hoping you'd reply.

  9. #9
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019285
    Quote Originally Posted by Emily
    Rough night?

    I was hoping you'd reply.
    Glad I didn't let you down.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  10. #10
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    12-28-05
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,647
    Rep Power
    8590746
    You are both letting me down. Stop making me cry

 

 

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-30-07, 03:13 AM
  2. Operation Rebound Goes The Extra Mile
    By Willowdared in forum In the News
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 06-04-07, 10:54 PM
  3. Dutch hide Speed Cameras
    By Operator13 in forum In the News
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-13-07, 05:56 AM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •