Welcome to the APBWeb.
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 33

Thread: I Believe!

  1. #1
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0

    I Believe!


    I've never been one of those few people who truly believe. Most (including myself) only believe they believe, or make believe. Not anymore. Not only do I believe that I'm going to pass my final algebra exam, I believe I'm going to pass my algebra class. As Jim Carey says in the movie, "Fun With Dick and Jane" I believe... I believe... I believe. While it would be nice for others to believe as well, it's not necessary. What's important is that I believe! I DO!

  2. #2
    JohnnyRotten's Avatar
    JohnnyRotten is offline Rentacop trainer
    Join Date
    05-08-06
    Posts
    369
    Rep Power
    3793121
    I believe you, too!!!

    Three cheers!!!

    Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!
    "My motivation is slipping, people bug me, and I'm tired of wasting my time on drivel."

    - Rep. Otis Pike (D - NY)

  3. #3
    bufford408's Avatar
    bufford408 is offline Just green and furry all over
    Join Date
    06-13-06
    Location
    R kin saw
    Posts
    948
    Rep Power
    268874
    Quote Originally Posted by Crimebytes2

    I've never been one of those few people who truly believe. Most (including myself) only believe they believe, or make believe. Not anymore. Not only do I believe that I'm going to pass my final algebra exam, I believe I'm going to pass my algebra class. As Jim Carey says in the movie, "Fun With Dick and Jane" I believe... I believe... I believe. While it would be nice for others to believe as well, it's not necessary. What's important is that I believe! I DO!

    If you believe then I believe. What I believe is I need not take an algebra class because I Don't know what X equals. And sure don't care what Y might mean.

    Hope you do well!

  4. #4
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    I too belive:



    "The Holy Gospel According to John Moses Browning


    I. In the beginning was the 1911, and the 1911 was the pistol, and it was good.

    II. John Moses Browning went up into the mountain, even unto the top of the mountain. And he received from the Lord the 1911, yea, and the design thereof, and rendered it into steel.

    III. And the Lord saw that the 1911 was good, and blessed it, and said "Let it be made in .45ACP, that you may smite thine enemies a mighty blow, for the .45ACP shall cleave unto the 1911 as man shall cleave unto his wife, and likewise the 1911 shall cleave also unto the .45ACP, for this union is a holy one, from which thou shalt not stray.

    IV. So the 1911 in .45ACP came to pass, and it was good, and the righteous therefore smote the minions of evil, as the Lord had intended.

    V. And behold the Lord said, thou shalt not muck with my disciple John's design for it is good and it worketh. For John made the 1911, and lo all of his weapons, from the designs which I, the Lord, gave him upon the mountain.

    VI. And shouldst thou muck with it and hang all manner of foul implements upon it, and profane its internal parts, thou shalt surely have malfunctions, and in the midst of battle thou shalt surely come to harm.

    VII. And as the ages passed men in their ignorance and arrogance didst forget the word of the Lord and began to profane the 1911. The tribe of the gamesman did place recoil spring guides and extended slide releases upon the 1911 and their metal smiths didst tighten the tolerances and alter parts to their liking, their clearness of mind being clouded by lust.

    VIII. Their artisans did hang all manner of foul implements upon the 1911 and did so alter it that it became impractical to purchase. For lo, the artisans didst charge a great tax upon the purchasers of the 1911 so that the lowly field worker could not afford one. And the profaning of the internal parts didst render it unworkable when the dust of the land fell upon it.

    IX. And lo, they didst install adjustable sights, which are an abomination unto the Lord. For they doth break and loose their zero when thou dost need true aim. And those who have done so will be slain in great numbers by their enemies in the great battle.

    X. And it came to pass that the Lord didst see the abomination wrought by man and didst cause, as he had warned, fearful malfunction to come upon the abominations and upon the artisans who thought they could do no wrong.

    XI. Seeing the malfunctions and the confusion of men the lord of the underworld did see an opportunity to further ensnare man and didst bring forth pistols made of plastic, whose form was such that they looked and felt like a brick, yet the eyes of man being clouded, they were consumed by the plastic pistol and did buy vast quantities of them.

    XII. And being a deceitful spirit the lord of the underworld did make these plastic pistols unamenable to the artisans of earth and they were unable to muck much with the design, and lo these pistols did function.

    XIII. And the evil one also brought forth pistols in which the trigger didst both cock and fire them and which require a "dingus" to make them appear safe.

    XIV. But man being stupid did not understand these new pistols and did proceed to shoot themselves with the plastic pistol, and with the trigger cocking pistols for lo their manual of arms required great intelligence which man had long since forsaken. Yet man continued to gloat over these new pistols blaming evil forces for the negligent discharges which they themselves had committed.

    XV. And when man had been totally ensnared with plastic pistol, the lord of the underworld didst cause a plague of the terrible Ka-BOOM to descend upon man and the plastic pistols delivered their retribution upon men. And there was a great wailing and gnashing of teeth in the land.

    XVI. Then seeing that the eyes of man were slowly being opened and that man was truly sorrowful for his sinful misdeeds, the Lord did send his messengers in the form of artisans who did hear and obey the teachings of the prophet and who didst restore the profaned 1911s to their proper configuration, and lo, to the amazement of men they didst begin to work as the prophet had intended.

    XVII. And the men of the land didst drive out the charlatans and profaners from the land, and there was joy and peace in the land, except for the evil sprits which tried occasionally to prey on the men and women of the land and who were sent to the place of eternal damnation by the followers of John."

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  5. #5
    bufford408's Avatar
    bufford408 is offline Just green and furry all over
    Join Date
    06-13-06
    Location
    R kin saw
    Posts
    948
    Rep Power
    268874
    Amen.

  6. #6
    zap's Avatar
    zap
    zap is offline yeahrightsurewhatever
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    07-18-06
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    380
    Rep Power
    91465
    Now that was funny AND it made sense

  7. #7
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
    Join Date
    06-07-06
    Location
    Ca
    Posts
    2,403
    Rep Power
    470209
    You can do it!! YAY!!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  8. #8
    CopsRCool302 Guest
    I have faith in you sweet heart! I believe in you. if you can do school like you cook, you will ace it baby

    ps.. would you make some baked beans?

    Your Love for Life
    Danny

  9. #9
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295281
    WTF?
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  10. #10
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by dlefdal
    WTF?
    You must be lost, dlefdal. This isn't The Question Thread.

  11. #11
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-16-06
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    3,406
    Rep Power
    4019285
    I am positive you will make it happen, Crime.

    Sarge, yet again you amaze and amuse. So, don't think much of the glock, huh?
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  12. #12
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295281
    Quote Originally Posted by Crimebytes2
    You must be lost, dlefdal. This isn't The Question Thread.
    Nope, just confused for a bit. I was trying to figure out how CRC knew you so well, especially your cooking;

    But I fingered it out! All on my own too

    Sometimes I can be a little slow.
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  13. #13
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Dallas Area
    Posts
    5,528
    Rep Power
    3224965
    If he starts passing out Kool-Aid or pills, or black tennis shoes walk slowly toward the door and keep accelerating

    EDIT: OOPS wrong thread - I thought I was publishing to the John Browning Cult thread
    EDIT - No I guess this Algerbra thread was the right one after all
    Last edited by TXCharlie; 07-26-06 at 10:17 PM.

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  14. #14
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295281
    Is it that I'm really that drunk or is this not making any f%&king sense whatsoever for the last few posts?
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  15. #15
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
    Crimebytes2 is offline Banned
    Join Date
    04-14-06
    Location
    Council Bluffs, Iowa
    Posts
    2,005
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by dlefdal
    Is it that I'm really that drunk or is this not making any f%&king sense whatsoever for the last few posts?
    While you is probably drunk, dlefdal, I think TXCharlie needs to lay off the watermelon and ice cream... it's affecting his thought process.

  16. #16
    Retdetsgt's Avatar
    Retdetsgt is offline How did I get here!
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    12-07-05
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    1,944
    Rep Power
    7757748
    I believe it's time to hit the sack. G'nite all!
    When I used to be somebody (I'm center top)

    "A burning desire for social justice is never a substitute for knowing what you're talking about". -Thomas Sowell-

  17. #17
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295281
    haa haaa
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  18. #18
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu
    I am positive you will make it happen, Crime.

    Sarge, yet again you amaze and amuse. So, don't think much of the glock, huh?

    Carry a 22; just don't admit it in public.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  19. #19
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
    Join Date
    12-29-05
    Location
    Dallas Area
    Posts
    5,528
    Rep Power
    3224965
    Quote Originally Posted by Crimebytes2
    While you is probably drunk, dlefdal, I think TXCharlie needs to lay off the watermelon and ice cream... it's affecting his thought process.
    I was thinking of the Heaven's Gate Cult - They all wore black tennis shoes when they off'd themselves. And Jim Jones' Guyana cult drank poisoned Kool-Aid, as I remember.

    1sgkelly, if that's a .22 caliber and not a Glock 22, you now have lost your right to make fun of the Kel-Tec P32 I carry when I don't have my HS2000. But a Kel-Tec .380 isn't too far off

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  20. #20
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
    Join Date
    05-17-06
    Location
    Richmond VA
    Posts
    2,207
    Rep Power
    645058
    Quote Originally Posted by TXCharlie
    I was thinking of the Heaven's Gate Cult - They all wore black tennis shoes when they off'd themselves. And Jim Jones' Guyana cult drank poisoned Kool-Aid, as I remember.

    1sgkelly, if that's a .22 caliber and not a Glock 22, you now have lost your right to make fun of the Kel-Tec P32 I carry when I don't have my HS2000. But a Kel-Tec .380 isn't too far off

    Glock 22, .40 cal.
    Also Glock instructor and armorer.

    But there is just something about a 1911A1; I mean besides the hole it makes that you can drive a truck through; a certain je nes se qua, if you know what I mean.
    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

 

 
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •