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  1. #1
    Cheech Guest

    Any way to shed some pounds in two weeks?

    Ok since the academy ive eaten alot. Im a tubby bitch ( i still look better than all o f you though ) I put my uniform on in two weeks. I dont want fat hanging off the sides and cold cuts seeping out of my neck. Fastest way to lose weight. Im too broke for crystal meth.....

  2. #2
    Virginian's Avatar
    Virginian is offline Major
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    Two weeks is too late dude. Seriously.



    ps - don't try doing an image search for "fat mexican" on yahoo.

  3. #3
    dlocke1419's Avatar
    dlocke1419 is offline Officer First Class
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    Dont eat anything for the next two weeks and only drink water. You are bound to loose some of the neck fat.

  4. #4
    nitestokker's Avatar
    nitestokker is offline Banned
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    Quickest way I know to lose 200 pounds of useless, unwanted fat: Kill your supervisor.

  5. #5
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    * Only weigh yourself before you hit the buffet.
    * Buy scales that can be adjusted down
    * Avoid mirrors
    * Buy a larger uniform

    How much can I loose on Meth???

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  6. #6
    TwanimusPrime's Avatar
    TwanimusPrime is offline Moving on up...to the east side!
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    The whole Atkins things works really fast. Keep your carbohydrate intake to between 25-40 a day. Basically all meat and eggs, and some green veggies (I'm not gonna tell you everything, yer a smart boy, read a label) You can easily lose 5-10 pounds a week if you stick to it.

    But its harder than hell. I've gained a good 20 lbs since I left the academy 2 years ago. I used the TX Carlie method to deal with it. Bigger uniform pants :P I wish I had a deprtment with bicycle patrol, thats a great way to get paid to shhed some lbs.

  7. #7
    Vendetta's Avatar
    Vendetta is offline Today, We are All Hokies
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwanimusPrime
    The whole Atkins things works really fast. Keep your carbohydrate intake to between 25-40 a day. Basically all meat and eggs, and some green veggies (I'm not gonna tell you everything, yer a smart boy, read a label) You can easily lose 5-10 pounds a week if you stick to it.

    But its harder than hell. I've gained a good 20 lbs since I left the academy 2 years ago. I used the TX Carlie method to deal with it. Bigger uniform pants :P I wish I had a deprtment with bicycle patrol, thats a great way to get paid to shhed some lbs.
    +1
    I lost 75 lbs and felt a hell of a lot better when i was on Atkins
    "And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway", Buford T. Justice

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  8. #8
    TheOldRhino's Avatar
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    There's no miracle weight-loss that's going to let you lose fat, and fat alone, in two weeks. The only thing you can do is starve yourself, and that will take muscle with it.

    However, if you want to do the Slim Fast, thing I've done it before and lost weight. Just make sure your "sensible" meal isn't McDonalds.

    Actually what I did was I'd eat a big breakfast and then have my two shakes for lunch and dinner- with the occasional fruit or raw vegetable snack. I did lose some weight in two weeks, but for most diets, it takes at least that long for your body to adjust to your new regime.

    Good luck!
    The virtue of spirit has no need for thanks or approval. Only the certain conviction that what has been done is right. -Jor El, as played by Marlon Brando

  9. #9
    MisterK's Avatar
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    Ill run ya a few times a week....
    Don't hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit soft. -
    Theodore Roosevelt

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  10. #10
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    Lots of water before you go to grab that snack. And run...run run run !!
    **********************
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    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  11. #11
    doobiej's Avatar
    doobiej is offline It just pays for beer money with dead goats
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    Anybody ever heard of a gym. Try working out it boosts your metabolism and helps in weight loss along with a sensible diet.

  12. #12
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by doobiej
    Anybody ever heard of a gym.

    Yeah, Gym is my next door neighbor.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by doobiej
    Anybody ever heard of a gym.
    Yes, but with excercise, you won't lose weight in 2 weeks. Usually when I start a new excercise routine, I end up gaining weight for the first few weeks.
    The virtue of spirit has no need for thanks or approval. Only the certain conviction that what has been done is right. -Jor El, as played by Marlon Brando

  14. #14
    cwtlady's Avatar
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    Seriously if you're looking to lose weight, cut out all sugar, refined flour and processed foods. Drink lots of water and skip diet drinks. Eat more vegetables and fruit. Lower your refined carb intake.

    I've lost weight this way and I feel great. Just go for the natural foods and you'll feel better in no time.



    And it's legal too.

  15. #15
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    I once lost quite a bit of weight by eating nothing but fruit and veggies all day and one actual meal (lunch). I ate whatever I wanted for lunch, but only took half of what I would normally eat. I also started running late at night. I went from 235 to 172 in around 6 months. two weeks into it i think i had lost 15-20 pounds. Beware though, eating ALOT of fruit when youre not use to it causes MAJOR shitting issues. Good luck.
    Peace through superior firepower.

  16. #16
    Trojan 42's Avatar
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    Do this EVERY day. It will get you in shape quickly.

    Total Body Workout


    Each of the following exercises should be preceded by a run of 50 metres or more taking the weight with you. (Medicine Ball best, but free weight in a bag of some sort will suffice). Number of reps can be anything above 10.


    1. Push Pulls. Stand with feet shoulder width apart and knees flexed slightly. Hold the weight at chest height, extend the arms straight out in front and return to start position.

    2. Throw Ins. Same stance as above. Hold weight behind head straighten arms over head, going forward in front of head by about 1foot, return to start position.

    3. Side Turns. Same stance. Hold weight in both hands, at waist height. Elbows locked into, and slightly in front, of hips. Forearms parallel to the ground. Keeping hips square to front, twist upper body and arms to left, stop. Return to centre, stop. Twist to right, stop.

    4. Side Leans. Same stance. Hold weight in both hands against forehead. Keeping back straight, lean to left, from waist, stop. Return to centre, stop. Lean to right, from waist, stop. And return to centre.

    5. Hip Circles. Same stance. Circle the body transferring the weight from hand to hand, in front of body and behind body. Change direction half way through reps.

    6. Figure of Eights. Feet wider apart than shoulders, bend from waist. Take weight round outside of left leg, then through legs, take weight in right hand, take round right leg, back between legs transfer the weight back to left hand and complete the figure of eight.

    7. Diagonal Lifts. Feet shoulder width apart. Weight held in both hands, bend and touch floor with weight in front of left foot, lift weight above head over right foot and straighten back and arms. Touch weight to floor in front of right foot, then lift above head over left foot, straightening arms and back..

    8. Sit Ups. Lay on floor, legs bent feet flat on floor. Hold weight with both hands against forehead and raise upper body off floor, return to start position. Exercise slowly

    9. Leg Crunches. Support back with elbows whilst laying on floor. Hold weight between feet. Feet held off floor, legs straight , bend legs to bring weight to groin, then extend legs straight again.

    10. Dorsal Raises. Lie face down, legs apart, toes on floor. Hold weight against forehead, then, raise upper body 6 inches. Lower slowly then repeat.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



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  17. #17
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by isthatlegal?
    Seriously if you're looking to lose weight, cut out all sugar, refined flour and processed foods.
    Sorry, Tony... no more glow-in-the-dark Gummy Worms & Eyeball Jawbreakers. Send 'em to me and I'll dispose of them

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  18. #18
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    Stop Eating All Of The Fucking Curros!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

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  19. #19
    dla4079's Avatar
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    This how I lost the weight.......


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    NTISF Gang Unit

 

 

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