What is proper?

**zap** · 08-05-06, 09:39 AM

Ok...here is the case.

Couple married young, and stay married for 50 years. The husband dies.

Widow buys a double plot and stone with both names.

Pretty straight forward to this point. Here is the issue. What if the widow remarries? Say the 2nd marriage lasts for 10 or 20 years or longer...or not but is on good terms.

Where would it be proper for the woman to be burried? Should she be burried with her 1st husband and seem to slight the new husband? Or be burried with her new husband and seem to forsake the husband who was married to her his entire adult life?

**Piggybank Cop** · 08-05-06, 10:00 AM

It doesn't matter where you feed the worms.

**snuffy2202** · 08-05-06, 10:01 AM

Hopefully, the wife and new husband had discussed the situation themselves. When my mother passed away, my father bought a plot next to her. Then my father remarried. Five years later, he passed away, and his new wife buried him beside my mother. I think it all depends on the individual situation.

**conalabu** · 08-05-06, 11:02 AM

I agree with the sarge. Like always, sarge knows best. Once it is over and your ticket is punched, what does it matter where you are buried?

**Ducky** · 08-05-06, 11:27 AM

If the second marriage wasn't on good terms, he'd probably cremate her and do whatever he wanted.

My grandmother has her name on my grandfather's headstone (beside his) with her name and birthdate, but no death date. By the time she died, twenty-two later, years she was living in a different state entirely and didn't have any family where my grandfather was laid to rest. So she's buried in the cemetery of the church she was attending when she died. She never remarried, just didn't see the point of being shipped somewhere that her family would never be able to come visit her grave. Sometime in the future I do plan on finishing the dual headstone, in memory.

**Crimebytes2** · 08-05-06, 12:15 PM

Nothing is set in stone (no pun intended). Like it or not, death is inevitable and something that should be discussed between the individuals involved. If not, then you leave it up to the ones left behind to make the choice for you. Besides, what difference does it make? it's not how you're buried that counts; it's how you're remembered.

**Willowdared** · 08-05-06, 01:56 PM

There are lot's of options, and alot would depend on the 2nd husband's situation as well.

She could get the plot next to her double plot, and be buried in the middle.

She could request to be cremated, and have her ashes split and buried with each husband.

She could have her first husband disinterred, cremated, and buried with her - where ever that ends up being.

If she has the option of going double-depth on her exisiting plot, she can be buried on top of her first husband, and next to her second husband.

The only thing certain, is if she has strong feelings any which way, she should specify in a will.

p.s. I used to work in the industry.

**zap** · 08-05-06, 02:10 PM

Originally Posted by PDawg

The only thing certain, is if she has strong feelings any which way, she should specify in a will.

Makes good sense

p.s. I used to work in the industry.

LOL no kidding!

**conalabu** · 08-05-06, 04:13 PM

"the industry"? Huh. Good choice of words. Does that mean you carried a black bag? Or did black bag work?

**refusetostop** · 08-05-06, 04:20 PM

Easy bury her next to her first husband and then you can be burried on top of her so she can kiss your ass

**Willowdared** · 08-06-06, 03:32 AM

Originally Posted by conalabu

"the industry"? Huh. Good choice of words. Does that mean you carried a black bag? Or did black bag work?

I was on the paperwork end, processing contracts. My specialty was catching cheating sales people trying to get a bigger commission then they earned.

There is some underhanded stuff that can happen - which makes it one of the more heavily regulated industries. It is a business that plays on grief, so having a plan in writing benefits everyone - living and deceased.

Oh yeah - headstones can be resurfaced!