The joys of customer service

**Ducky** · 08-05-06, 02:35 PM

This guy called me about 20 minutes ago. I cringe that he may wind up online.
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Me: "How can I help you?"
Guy: "I need a book that will tell me how to use a compuer"
Me: "What programs, you mean?"
Him: "No programs, I just need to know how to use a computer"
Me: "OK, what operating system are you using?"
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "What does the computer run?"
Him: "I don't understand"
Me: "When you boot the computer, what does the screen say? Windows, Mac, or something different?"
Him: "The problem's not booting the computer, I just need to know how to use it."
Me: "Is it a Windows or a Mac?"
Him: "I don't know"
Me: "What is the main program that the computer uses?"
Him: "Uhhh, it's a Dell"
Me: "OK, it's probably Windows. Is it an old or new computer"
Him: "It's new"
Me: "OK, it's probably XP. I can get you Windows XP for Dummies, but we don't have any in stock."
Him: "What if I have a CD?"
Me: "A CD for what, sir? Music, a program, a DVD...?"
Him: "Just a CD, you know, like a company sends you with information on it"
Me: "You open the CD drive bay, put the CD in, close the bay and it should automatically start."
Him: "Oh."
Me: "Honestly, sir, it looks like it would be a while before I could get this book in for you, you may be better off going to somewhere like Books-A-Million, they've got a lot of books like what you're looking for in stock and can probably help you more than I can."

Even my hair hurts now. I half expect this to show up on call crank call show.

**timatoe127** · 08-05-06, 02:42 PM

Maybe you should have started with questions like;
How tall is your house?
Do you have any rope?
Can you tie a good knot?

And so on until you hear the snap of the taught rope. But then that's how I think we should deal with most of the dregs of society.

**CountyFourteen** · 08-05-06, 02:45 PM

at least you didn't tell him to call the S.O. I got a call about a month ago...the womens IM wouldn't work and she wanted a deputy to come fix it...sad part is I worked computers/networks before this...and could have fixed it...but now that isn't in my "job description" lol ........ hmmmm or is it? We seem to get called for any reason...

**snuffy2202** · 08-05-06, 03:51 PM

That reminds me of a lady who was on the phone to the help desk. She said was tryinig to pay for a purchase online, but her credit card was stuck in the computer slot. She was trying to put her credit card in the A: drive!

**refusetostop** · 08-05-06, 04:05 PM

How the conversation should have went:

Me: "How can I help you?"
Guy: "I need a book that will tell me how to use a computer"
Me: "What programs, you mean?"
Him: "No programs, I just need to know how to use a computer"
Me: "ok, I can help you without a book just push the power button"
Him: "Huh?"
Me: "The power button. You know every electronic product has one."
Him: "I don't understand"
Me: "Well Sir you do have to be smarter than the keyboard to make it work"
Him: "The problem's not booting the computer; I just need to know how to use it."
Me: "Ok, Then how about Computers for Dummies?"
Him: "I don't know"
Me: "You don't know what? If you have a computer or if you’re a dummy?"
Him: "Uhhh, it's a Dell"
Me: "Dell, yes sir that is a computer so that confirms your are a dummy""
Him: "It's new"
Me: "Great you bought a new computer. Wish I had sold it to you I could be rich now."
Him: "What if I have a CD?"
Me: "A CD for what, sir? Music, a program, a DVD...?"
Him: "Just a CD, you know, like a company sends you with information on it"
Me: "Sir that is not a CD that is target, you simply super glue the disc to your forehead and have a friend shoot at the hole in the center.
Him: "Oh."
Me: "Now if your friend is as bright as you are you might want to have him use a shotgun so he will have a better chance of getting one through the hole. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"

**Standard Dave** · 08-05-06, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by CountyFourteen

at least you didn't tell him to call the S.O. I got a call about a month ago...the womens IM wouldn't work and she wanted a deputy to come fix it...sad part is I worked computers/networks before this...and could have fixed it...but now that isn't in my "job description" lol ........ hmmmm or is it? We seem to get called for any reason...

Yep if it's not on fire just call the Police