Welcome to the APBWeb.
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 75

Thread: Girls!

  1. #1
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295268

    Girls!

    Alright, it's time to set the record straight!

    1*girl, Autumn and a few other of the ladies know exactly how I feel about this matter. It is very important to me and it is also important to the other males on this planet.

    It is important that you listen to me closely and that there be no arguing or debating. Here it goes.......................... .....

    GIRLS DON'T POOP, FART OR SMELL BAD! The end. No if's, ands or butts. They don't do it. They don't do it because, they can't do it. They don't have the ability.

    In the world that I live in (and I'm not the only one) girls always smell like they just got out of the shower, they never pass gas or poop. Very simple.

    I don't need some women on here to tell me that I'm wrong or that I'm living in a fantasy world. I like the world that I live in and it makes me happy.

    Just setting the record straight. Carry on.

    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  2. #2
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Bismarck, ND
    Posts
    3,114
    Rep Power
    7749093
    Looks like you've been spending too much time with that blow up doll of yours.
    Thereís a promise I need you to make
    While Iím gone you take care of the love
    And Iíll deal with the hate.

    Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
    Just care for your children and sleep tight
    Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
    ~
    On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado

  3. #3
    Norm357's Avatar
    Norm357 is offline Corporal
    Supporting Member Lvl 2
    Join Date
    12-24-05
    Location
    Atlanta
    Posts
    975
    Rep Power
    983662
    Dont you know fast food makes fine bitches fart?
    (Jay from Jay and silent Bob strike back)

  4. #4
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Bismarck, ND
    Posts
    3,114
    Rep Power
    7749093
    Quote Originally Posted by Norm357
    Dont you know fast food makes fine bitches fart?
    (Jay from Jay and silent Bob strike back)
    McDonalds hot chocolate, wicked stuff
    Thereís a promise I need you to make
    While Iím gone you take care of the love
    And Iíll deal with the hate.

    Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
    Just care for your children and sleep tight
    Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
    ~
    On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado

  5. #5
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
    Join Date
    06-07-06
    Location
    Ca
    Posts
    2,403
    Rep Power
    470196
    Yeah, ummm OK.....whatever you say
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  6. #6
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295268
    Quote Originally Posted by Autumn2009
    McDonalds hot chocolate, wicked stuff
    THAT'S ENOUGH

    (no smiley)
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  7. #7
    dlefdal's Avatar
    dlefdal is offline LEF'S unofficial mascot
    Join Date
    05-28-06
    Posts
    1,358
    Rep Power
    295268
    Quote Originally Posted by Autumn2009
    Looks like you've been spending too much time with that blow up doll of yours.

    Smells like latex, not like she just got out of the shower. Doesn't do it for me.
    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  8. #8
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610530
    here are some links for you.... its ok if you didnt have a mommy lol

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/192...232912?ie=UTF8

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/091...232912?ie=UTF8

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/069...232912?ie=UTF8 i personally think the search inside section is a really funny thought LOL...
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  9. #9
    pmfc is offline ^
    Join Date
    12-31-05
    Posts
    162
    Rep Power
    45748
    Quote Originally Posted by gozling
    here are some links for you.... its ok if you didnt have a mommy lol

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/192...232912?ie=UTF8

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/091...232912?ie=UTF8

    http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/069...232912?ie=UTF8 i personally think the search inside section is a really funny thought LOL...
    Rep sent!

    Poor dlefdal I take full responsibility for starting all this.


  10. #10
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-05-06
    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
    5,456
    Rep Power
    1532834
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  11. #11
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,096
    Rep Power
    7381622
    We fart, we just don't generally administer Dutch Ovens. We could, but we don't.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  12. #12
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401338
    We pass gas.

    Or, as my Grandpa would say, "Did you hear that buck snort?!"
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  13. #13
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,096
    Rep Power
    7381622
    My dad insisted there must've been a mouse under my chair... one built to government specs.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  14. #14
    Lizzy's Avatar
    Lizzy is offline Rookie
    Join Date
    08-06-06
    Posts
    257
    Rep Power
    14502
    Dlefdal- someone trained you really really well! Congrats!
    Another thing that can get you out of dangerous situations are those darn barking spiders. Blast them!!!

    Lizzy

  15. #15
    lepdford's Avatar
    lepdford is offline K-9 Officer
    Join Date
    01-01-06
    Location
    North Central Texas
    Posts
    478
    Rep Power
    2122710
    dlefdal,

    If you are going to continue your career in law enforcement....you really shouldn't smoke the crack dude!
    K-9 When the door pops...The bullshit stops!

    Go ahead run...I'll even give you a head start!

    When the public needs help, they call the Police.
    When the Police needs help, they call SWAT.
    When SWAT needs help, they call K-9!

    Duty not Reward

  16. #16
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-21-06
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,847
    Rep Power
    5559833
    Quote Originally Posted by lepdford
    dlefdal,

    If you are going to continue your career in law enforcement....you really shouldn't smoke the crack dude!
    Blame it on #1girl,ever since he fell in lust with her its' been all down hill.

  17. #17
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Mid TN
    Posts
    930
    Rep Power
    643211
    My dad used to say it was the floor squeak or barking spiders. I knew those things were rough lol.
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
    ______________________________ __________
    An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
    ______________________________ __________
    In vino veritas!

  18. #18
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    06-15-06
    Location
    So. Florida
    Posts
    5,312
    Rep Power
    1659716
    so its not really spiders??
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawgís messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawgís posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawgís posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawgís posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  19. #19
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Mid TN
    Posts
    930
    Rep Power
    643211
    lol, sorry Bigdawg, but no it's not spiders. But maybe that is the reason I hate spiders lol.
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
    ______________________________ __________
    An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
    ______________________________ __________
    In vino veritas!

  20. #20
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
    BEK is offline Lieutenant
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    01-02-06
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    2,101
    Rep Power
    3397444
    Wow this is gotta be the most useless thread its almost as bad as brads what kind of underwear do you have on....


 

 
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 10
    Last Post: 06-25-07, 02:37 PM
  2. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-30-07, 10:41 PM
  3. Six Teen Girls Charged With Homicide Plot
    By BEB in forum In the News
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 01-28-07, 10:51 PM
  4. Police: Man Posed As Teen Son To Lure Girls Into Home
    By TXCharlie in forum In the News
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 01-16-07, 10:30 PM
  5. Big Fine for Underage 'Girls Gone Wild'
    By Piggybank Cop in forum In the News
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 12-14-06, 05:27 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •