unborn gunman

**gozling** · 10-02-06, 09:55 AM

Ok... this is in humor.. I wrote it and if it offends anyone I am sorry.. the mods can delete it.. I had a weird dream this week of twins fighting in a mothers womb and I am a writer on the side.. so I thought I would put in the form of a news blot ... Hopefully you find it as funny as some of my friends have reading it and really... it is not meant to offend....
I have another one on vehicular homicide if any are interested lol....

Hollywood, FL-

Investigators are trying to determine
what led an unborn child to fatally shoot his twin
with a .38-caliber revolver during an altercation in
their shared Hollywood womb Monday.

According to police, the twins' mother, Mary Smith
35, was awakened at 4 a.m. by the sensation of a
scuffle in her uterus, which she dismissed as "routine
kicking." Approximately 30 minutes later Smith
heard and felt three pistol shots.

A subsequent forensic ultrasound revealed that the
unborn gunman-identified as a five-inch-tall male
Caucasian of slight build with no eyes or hair-shot
his brother twice in what eventually would have become
his heart.

After a tense four-hour standoff, the unborn gunman
threw out his weapon when police threatened to induce
labor. Police spokesmen have denied that the use of
tear gas or forced C-section was ever considered.
Smith was unharmed in the shooting, with two of the
bullets lodging themselves in the victim and the third
passing harmlessly through the birth canal.

The shooter has yet to emerge from the crime scene,
but a court-appointed lawyer has said that the fetus
will surrender himself peacefully upon his post-partum
separation from Smith sometime in early October.

"This whole tragic chain of events is hard to
comprehend," Hollywood mayor I.P. Daily said. "Where
did we as a community fail these unborn boys? Could
their parents have done a better job of conceiving,
carrying, and pre-natally educating them? And how did
the fetus get access to firearms?"

Police officials say the shooter used a revolver
registered to his father, who may have left the
firearm within reach of his wife's womb. No charges
have been filed against the man at press time.

According to Hollywood District attorney I.
Kutchacockoff, though the assailant is legally
recognized as a fetus, he will be tried as an infant.
Pretrial hearings begin next week, and ultrasound
technicians will not be allowed in the courtroom.

"This is hard to take," Kutchacockoff told reporters.
"These kids were no more than babies."

Offering the Smith family "my deepest sympathy and
support in this difficult time," President Bush said
he is redoubling his efforts to pass tougher obstetric
gun-control legislation.

"Last year, I called upon Congress to require trigger
locks on handguns and place metal detectors at the
entrance of every womb," Bush said at a White House
press conference. "Such laws may well have saved the
life of that unborn child. I now ask Congress to do
the right thing and pass that legislation, as well as
a measure extending the waiting period for firearms
beyond nine months. We must keep handguns out of the
unformed hands of our nation's fetuses."

The fetus, following the advice of his attorney, has
offered no comment on the shooting.