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  1. #1
    OFK's Avatar
    OFK
    OFK is offline Trollicious
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    Soooo I went to the Sex store

    I normally would not consider doing such a sinful thing, but a friend of mine just got divorced for the fourth time, SO I decided that it was time for her to try something new. I went on a dildo mission as a joke. I thought it would be simple but nooooooooooooooooo..The guy had to show me a whole plethora of self pleasuring masterpieces. MY GOD THESE things are practically remote controlled and there are like eight friggin buttons and controls for each component. It's so friggin complicated, yet so simple it's scary. (AND I GOT FREE BATTERIES!)


  2. #2
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    What a good friend you are!! LOL
    I love those stores lol They are hilarious! Last time I went, their was this older, i mean old couple shopping....i swear like they were in their 70's. I could NOT stop cracking up!!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  3. #3
    Ducky's Avatar
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    Last time I went, some asshole started shouting about how we were all filthy, perverted sinners and we were all going to hell, and we should be ashamed of ourselves. He came in there JUST to start that shit. So now I buy online. Besides, if the likes of HIM are going to be in heaven, it's going to be a bore.

    Seriously though, it's an impressive range of toys out there, isn't it?
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  4. #4
    kay88's Avatar
    kay88 is offline Sergeant
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    I tend to steer clear of those places. That was the first thing I did after i turned 18 (about 3 days after) and the guys I went in there with gave me shit because I actually went in there with them. One of them STILL gives me shit to this very day.....i don't go to them anymore...lol
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  5. #5
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    So they do take out; how about home delivery?

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  6. #6
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Why there when you could have gone herte:

    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/...ead.php?t=9760

    Ihey have batteries too.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  7. #7
    OFK's Avatar
    OFK
    OFK is offline Trollicious
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just KC View Post

    What a good friend you are!! LOL
    I love those stores lol They are hilarious! Last time I went, their was this older, i mean old couple shopping....i swear like they were in their 70's. I could NOT stop cracking up!!


    Now THAT is a visual I can live without LMAO

  8. #8
    BigDawg's Avatar
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    I not only give free batteries, but will provide hands on instructions all for free and as long as needed.
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
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    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  9. #9
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is offline I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Just KC View Post

    Last time I went, their was this older, i mean old couple shopping....i swear like they were in their 70's. I could NOT stop cracking up!!
    Hey now, even old people need some lovin'.

    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  10. #10
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by cajunguy View Post
    Hey now, even old people need some lovin'.

    .
    I sure do
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

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  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by kay88 View Post
    I tend to steer clear of those places. That was the first thing I did after i turned 18 (about 3 days after) and the guys I went in there with gave me shit because I actually went in there with them. One of them STILL gives me shit to this very day.....i don't go to them anymore...lol
    Well, I've HEARD that there are some stores of that nature that cater to women and provide a more comfortable atmosphere by, among other things, having knowledgeable all female employees and giving the store a more "mainstream" appearance. That's what I've heard, anyway.




  12. #12
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    really? there are places out there like that?
    omg
    are you ok?
    how traumatized are you?

    thats like stuff you only see in movies!
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  13. #13
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Ya know, G-d gave you hands for a reason.

    And they never need batteries.

    Now, if they could make a pillow with a hairy chest? I'd buy that!
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  14. #14
    Vendetta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OFK View Post
    I normally would not consider doing such a sinful thing, but a friend of mine just got divorced for the fourth time, SO I decided that it was time for her to try something new. I went on a dildo mission as a joke. I thought it would be simple but nooooooooooooooooo..The guy had to show me a whole plethora of self pleasuring masterpieces. MY GOD THESE things are practically remote controlled and there are like eight friggin buttons and controls for each component. It's so friggin complicated, yet so simple it's scary. (AND I GOT FREE BATTERIES!)

    So who played the man first.............you or your friend?
    "And don't go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway", Buford T. Justice

    #1 Rule in Police: Sometimes its easier to ask Forgiveness than it is to ask Permission

    No one knows what it's like
    To be the bad man
    To be the sad man
    Behind blue eyes

  15. #15
    Ducky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PDawg View Post
    Ya know, G-d gave you hands for a reason.

    And they never need batteries.

    Now, if they could make a pillow with a hairy chest? I'd buy that!
    http://www.collectionsetc.com/Item16262.aspx Close... and it's got "soothing vibrations"
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  16. #16
    kay88's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttercup View Post
    Well, I've HEARD that there are some stores of that nature that cater to women and provide a more comfortable atmosphere by, among other things, having knowledgeable all female employees and giving the store a more "mainstream" appearance. That's what I've heard, anyway.
    Hmm, i'll have to look into that
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

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