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  1. #1
    Terminator's Avatar
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    NSFW - Ejaculation Etiquette

    Women are lucky in that they can have an orgasm pretty much anywhere and don't have to worry about leaving behind any telltale substances. Men, on the other hand, know that the end result of their pleasure includes a mess to clean up. This means that you should have an ejaculation etiquette plan that includes where it goes, where it doesnít go, how itís cleaned up, and how itís disposed of. Much of this is dependent on your partnerís likes and dislikes, so make sure to get an idea of where she draws the line when it comes to your climactic fluid.

    Here is the AM breakdown of ejaculation etiquette based on location and situation. Also included is a hint about what you absolutely should never do when it comes to ejaculation etiquette.

    Inside her

    If youíre having sex without a condom (which should only be done with a girl youíre confident wonít give you an STI), youíll likely end up finishing inside her. Make sure to get her permission, and understand the birth control situation before coming inside her. This option lifts most of the clean-up responsibility from you since your ejaculate is now literally up in her business. She will likely excuse herself to go to the bathroom and clean up there. There is a possibility that some of your stuff could leak out before she makes her way to the bathroom. In this case, the onus is back on you to clean up your mess.

    Etiquette reminder: Don't tell her that you wonít ejaculate insider her and then do it anyway.

    In a condom

    When using protection, the condom should be removed immediately after you ejaculate, before you lose your erection. This will prevent any sperm from escaping and slopping all over her or the bed. Tie the end off so nothing leaks out and place it in the garbage -- not the toilet or the floor.

    Etiquette reminder: Donít ask her to take the used condom off for you. Thatís your responsibility.

    In her mouth

    The ejaculation etiquette involved in oral sex is a little more complex. First of all, you have to determine whether or not she wants to swallow. Once this is established, itís nice to let her know when to expect your orgasm so she can either prepare to swallow and avoid gagging or switch to a different method of stimulation, like using her hand, to finish you off. You donít have to make a big announcement of it. A simple, ďItís time,Ē would do, or you could agree on a subtler signal that youíre about to erupt.

    Etiquette reminder: Donít hold her head so she has no choice but to swallow. Thatís a good way to never get a blow job again.


    On her ass/breasts

    Some men like the idea of ejaculating on a womanís breasts or butt, and some women think it's sexy too. Again, this should be established beforehand, because itís possible that it could gross her out and that would be bad ejaculation etiquette. If she digs it, then go ahead.

    Etiquette reminder: Donít rub it in afterward. Donít spread it around with your hands and donít collapse on top of her so the mess is squished between your bodies.

    On her face

    Coming on her face is a tricky issue. Some women really get off on the idea, but plenty of others think itís disgusting, and some even find it degrading. So itís essential that you get her permission before you shoot anywhere near or on her face.

    Etiquette reminder: Do not get any in her eyes. Avoid her hair as well, if possible.

    climax control

    If you follow AMís ejaculation etiquette, you can avoid plenty of awkward and potentially gross post-sex clean-up routines. Youíll also have a better chance of keeping your girlfriend happy, which means youíll have more opportunities to practice your etiquette rules in the future.

  2. #2
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Women are lucky in that they can have an orgasm pretty much anywhere and don't have to worry about leaving behind any telltale substances
    Snail trail

    As far as our mess..... all she gotta do is swallow everytime and then no more problem
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    ďA fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.Ē Sigmund Freud

  3. #3
    TXCharlie's Avatar
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    You should send this to Penthouse

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  4. #4
    ex401mp's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    , ďItís time,Ē would do, or you could agree on a subtler signal that youíre about to erupt.

    Here's a better signal- UUHH!!
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G.I.
    One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. ~ Anon

    si hic carrus commovet non quaerete

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  5. #5
    213th's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ex401mp View Post
    Here's a better signal- UUHH!!
    ahhhhh F*CK YEAH!
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  6. #6
    pgg's Avatar
    pgg
    pgg is offline Damnit, I'm hungry again.
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    Quote Originally Posted by ex401mp View Post
    Here's a better signal- UUHH!!
    Can someone rep him for me?
    'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
    delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
    promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
    holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
    possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'

    ďA fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.Ē Sigmund Freud

  7. #7
    Twan007's Avatar
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    got both ex401 and 213th

    had to explain why i was laughing so hard to the wifey
    -=Twan007


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  8. #8
    Ender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    Women are lucky in that they can have an orgasm
    On her face

    Coming on her face is a tricky issue. Some women really get off on the idea, but plenty of others think itís disgusting, and some even find it degrading.
    And what would be the point otherwise?!??!?!
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ender View Post
    And what would be the point otherwise?!??!?!
    pig
    Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr

  10. #10
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    SPD
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    If the girl has that many hangups about a little schmanky, it's time to move on to someone else.

 

 

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