Do you believe homosexuals/bisexuals are born that way, or make a choice to lead that lifestyle?

**Terminator** · 08-05-09, 07:25 PM

Do you believe homosexuals/lesbians/bi-sexuals are born that way, or make a choice to lead that lifestyle?

**Buttercup** · 08-05-09, 08:14 PM

I said "other," because I really don't know. I've had conversations about that with some of my friends who are gay, and some said that they made a choice (and while one has had sex with members of the opposite sex, he does not consider himself bisexual) but a couple have said they were born that way and said, "do you really think I would choose to be so different?"

**JSO85360** · 08-05-09, 08:44 PM

I think we all have choices. You just have to pick the right one for yourself.

**CTR man** · 08-05-09, 09:09 PM

Originally Posted by JSO85360

I think we all have choices. You just have to pick the right one for yourself.

Amen to that.

**Jenna** · 08-05-09, 09:49 PM

I said "other", because I think it's some combination of pre-determined and a choice for most. It's just like the desire to have sex at all--some have stronger or weaker pre-determined sex drives than others, and some choose to have more or less sex than others, but how much sex someone actually has is due to a combination of the strength of his/her pre-determined sex drive and his/her choices about when and whether to act on it.

**Car 4** · 08-06-09, 02:01 AM

The research that I have seen points to a subconscious decision made within the first 4 years of life. This is much like choosing which hemisphere of your brain you will use most and where your personality will reside.

There are a list of factors which "may" help to influence this decision....google it...and subsequent sociatal pressures can delay the adoption of the actual lifestyle. I am sure we all know someone who came out after being married and living a hetero life.

I really don't know....this is just what I have read. But think of this....who would choose that lifestyle given how incredibly difficult it must be in our society?

Car 4

**lewisipso** · 08-06-09, 05:44 AM

I voted it was a choice. This is not to get into the scientific aspect of homosexuality because I am not and will not ever be an expert in that matter. What I mean is anyone of "normal" brain function has the ability to choose what they participate in. I could choose to participate in homosexual activity but I choose not to.

**Odd** · 08-06-09, 06:22 AM

I go with Car4's view for the most part. Not much of a "choice" at 4 years old, but it does take influences beyond hardwired biology into account and makes sense to me. Then you have that scale brought up awhile back. Say you lock in somewhere on that at 4 years old, unless you're clearly on either end of the spectrum there is the opportunity for adult choice.

I think bi-sexuality is much more limited in reality than the media makes it out to look though, with most adults having the choice between following how their instincts turned out or making a political statement. That applies to homosexuals who fake heterosexuality too.

**Terminator** · 08-06-09, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by lewisipso

I voted it was a choice.

I could choose to participate in homosexual activity but I choose not to.

Can you choose who you're attracted to?

**Xiphos** · 08-06-09, 11:31 AM

I have had many gay friends in my life and not a one of them wasn't abused in some way as a child. I think that has something to do with it. Not all abused do it, but all the ones I know are gay were abused.

**irishmick** · 08-06-09, 12:53 PM

I have quite a few gay friends and even a couple of gay family members. Not one of them made a conscious choice to be gay...they were just born attracted to members of the same sex (not unlike the way Term was born attracted to fat chicks

). Of course, this is just my experience with the people that I know. None of them were abused or decided at some point that it would be fun to be ridiculed and lashed out against for their lifestyles. Are the exception or the rule? No clue. But, I firmly believe that 99.9% of gay people are born that way, with only a scant .1% choosing the lifestyle.

**MacLean** · 08-06-09, 01:37 PM

I think when science finally figures it out, both sides will attempt to suppress it.

**lewisipso** · 08-06-09, 05:48 PM

Originally Posted by Terminator

Can you choose who you're attracted to?

I can yes. I can't say for someone else. That's why I feel I can't and won't judge someone for being homosexual. The "choice" I speak of is in the context of what I will and won't do. I can cut off my hand but I choose not to. I could drive my car off a cliff but I choose not to. I could certainly have sex with a man but I choose not to. In the reverse of that I could choose not to have sex with my wife but I choose to.
When she lets me.

**Terminator** · 08-06-09, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by lewisipso

I can yes. I can't say for someone else.

"choice" I speak of is in the context of what I will and won't do. I can cut off my hand but I choose not to.

With all do respect, we're not talking about acting on attractions, just if you're attracted to them. Can you control who you're attracted to, regardless of whether or not you act on it?

**chewy** · 08-06-09, 07:16 PM

I believe you're born with the predisposition to be attracted to the same sex. Furthermore I personally have no problem with it. I've had gay friends and coworkers and find that I have no problem trusting them with my life!

**Terminator** · 08-06-09, 07:21 PM

Originally Posted by chewy

I believe you're born with the predisposition to be attracted to the same sex.

Now we're getting some interesting and open minded perspectives. I'd like to hear more about this belief.

**chewy** · 08-06-09, 07:36 PM

I've known people from childhood that just had what could be called stereotype homosexual behaiviorisms that insisted they were anything but. Then years later I've met up with them and sure enough they were openly gay. I think allowing yourself to BE yourself and to openly anounce it and date the same sex is a choice people make rather than hiding it. However I also feel that it's a sad sad reflection of our society that people still, in the 21st century, feel they have any reason to hide it for fear of retribution or mistreatment. I feel you are born with those basic of instincts and that the only choice one makes is if they actively pursue that which they are attracted towards or if they suppress it and go with what they percieve that society wants or expects of them. This is about the same as me saying I am more sexually attracted to brunette or red head women than blonds. I don't "choose" to be attracted to darker haired women but the fact of the matter is that when I'm looking at pretty women I'd select dark haired women probably 9 out of 10 times over blonde. I firmly believe that you are born that way. It may be that some of your upbringing helps shape your beliefs but those basic instincts are already hard wired at birth.

**mack** · 08-07-09, 10:31 AM

I voted other. The reason being that I think that for some homosexuals it may have been a choice due to something that occurred during their formative years (incest, rape, etc). But I also think that some who did not have this type of act occur but who had a healthy upbringing were born with a predisposition to homosexuality. So in essence, there is no right or wrong answer.

**lewisipso** · 08-07-09, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Terminator

With all do respect, we're not talking about acting on attractions, just if you're attracted to them. Can you control who you're attracted to, regardless of whether or not you act on it?

I would have to say I'm not sure. I was commenting on the choice issue you asked about. Attraction as opposed to choice leads more toward a scientific aspect of that issue and I know nothing about that. However, I'm with Maclean. If and when science ever figures it out one of "sides" will disagree and want to suppress it.
As far as choosing a lifestyle, yes it is choosen. The same applies to any lifestyle.

**Terminator** · 08-07-09, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by lewisipso

As far as choosing a lifestyle, yes it is choosen. The same applies to any lifestyle.

I would have to agree that it's a lifestyle choice, but then again, who's not going to do something that's natural to them, or that they like? I mean, I wouldn't eat peas over and over because I don't like them, and I wouldn't expect a guy who is attracted to guys to have sex with girls.