Have you been turned down by every other law enforcement agency?
Did you get fired from McDonald's for incompetence?
Do you have nothing in life left to look forward to????
Do you have the desire to work with some great people... and a few other incompetent morons who some how escaped the inevitable laws of Darwinism and weren't eaten by their parents and now do little to nothing, don't know their jobs let alone where they are half the time ONLY to find that they somehow seem to always get promoted before the people who actually KNOW how to do the job?.
GREAT NEWS, you can join US Customs & Border Protection, Office of Field Operations!!!
No, we aren't Special Agents,
No, we aren't Border Patrol,
No, we don't really do anything remotely exciting,
No, there is no job satisfaction,
No, there is nothing really great at all about us...
BUT, you WILL
get to sit on your arse for hours on end,
be treated like a retarded step child that can't function without thirteen people telling you what to do,
come to work and not perform AT ALL and still get paid,
carry a gun and a badge,
get to sit in patrol cars and feel like a real cop (by God, don't you dare drive anywhere or pull anyone over or chase anyone... but you can sit in it)
If this all sounds super exciting and you are kind of motivated to sort of do SOMETHING with your life but not really have to put out any effort but want to still get a steady paycheck whether you do anything or just go through the motions then THIS IS IT, This is THE JOB FOR YOU!!!
USAJOBS -
***Disclaimer***
Not all Ports allow you to do nothing. If you are in Detroit you most likely will be encouraged to do nothing but if you should happen to get hired to other ports you may be asked to work hard, arrests felons, seize narcotics vehicles money and other contraband, attempt to stop terrorists and other criminals from entering our country seeking to do harm. God forbid you get the Southern Border... Be prepared to SWEAT!!! :)
