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Thread: CBP Officer openings
04-06-09, 02:12 AM #1
CBP Officer openings
Have you been turned down by every other law enforcement agency?
Did you get fired from McDonald's for incompetence?
Do you have nothing in life left to look forward to????
Do you have the desire to work with some great people... and a few other incompetent morons who some how escaped the inevitable laws of Darwinism and weren't eaten by their parents and now do little to nothing, don't know their jobs let alone where they are half the time ONLY to find that they somehow seem to always get promoted before the people who actually KNOW how to do the job?.
GREAT NEWS, you can join US Customs & Border Protection, Office of Field Operations!!!
No, we aren't Special Agents,
No, we aren't Border Patrol,
No, we don't really do anything remotely exciting,
No, there is no job satisfaction,
No, there is nothing really great at all about us...
BUT, you WILL
get to sit on your arse for hours on end,
be treated like a retarded step child that can't function without thirteen people telling you what to do,
come to work and not perform AT ALL and still get paid,
carry a gun and a badge,
get to sit in patrol cars and feel like a real cop (by God, don't you dare drive anywhere or pull anyone over or chase anyone... but you can sit in it)
If this all sounds super exciting and you are kind of motivated to sort of do SOMETHING with your life but not really have to put out any effort but want to still get a steady paycheck whether you do anything or just go through the motions then THIS IS IT, This is THE JOB FOR YOU!!!
Not all Ports allow you to do nothing. If you are in Detroit you most likely will be encouraged to do nothing but if you should happen to get hired to other ports you may be asked to work hard, arrests felons, seize narcotics vehicles money and other contraband, attempt to stop terrorists and other criminals from entering our country seeking to do harm. God forbid you get the Southern Border... Be prepared to SWEAT!!!
Last edited by chewy; 04-06-09 at 06:15 PM. Reason: :)Grumpy bastard sick of it all!
Guns Don't Kill People, Radical Pro-Lifers Kill People
04-06-09, 07:38 PM #2
Chewy are you feeling a little, umm...., disgruntled today?
"Stupid should hurt."
04-06-09, 08:34 PM #3
04-07-09, 10:58 AM #4
04-08-09, 07:31 PM #5
04-08-09, 07:39 PM #6
I just got turned down from a job..............where do i sign up at??.......................Swamp Mafia
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Certainly there is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and like it, never really care for anything else.
Follow me on twitter.........http://twitter.com/SecondChance122
Disclaimer: The opinions given in my signatures DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such.
04-08-09, 08:14 PM #7
Don't mess with us Coasties or we will have you sent to LA/Longbeach and you will have to work (Somewhat)
Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy
04-08-09, 08:20 PM #8
Sometimes the thought of signing up and letting fate take its course sounds good. I am single..my family doesnt live here in Florida...shoot...it could be fun. But...I am still going to try for Washington for awhile...besides...do they have an age limit like most Fed LE jobs?Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr
04-08-09, 08:51 PM #9
"Stupid should hurt."
04-08-09, 09:20 PM #10I'm your huckleberry...
Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!
You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.
I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
but every girl I found was either one way or the other...
04-08-09, 09:49 PM #11Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr
04-08-09, 10:10 PM #12The six o'clock ruleI tell them to act according to the six o'clock rule, a phrase that causes most of them to say, "Huh?"
I tell them to use this little test before they decide to do something. If they were to do what they're thinking about, and it became the lead story on the six o'clock news, would they be proud? Would their department be proud, and would their family be proud? It's a simple way to live your life both personally and professionally.
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything." Mark Twain
04-08-09, 10:55 PM #13
04-09-09, 06:49 AM #14
How do I find out about taking some years off of my age for military? The Veterans Affairs has gotten so completely under my skin in the past week I have to make a move to something else other than glorified parking b!tch.
My Wife is loving her job at the tunnel.Insert witty comment and disclaimer here.
04-09-09, 12:47 PM #15
I looked all over the USAJobs and CBP site and didnt see anything about age. A few of the postings for other dept I did see age 37 but not all. Only problem is...I'd take a pay cut for some of the jobs.Never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way" ~Martin Luther King, Jr
04-09-09, 06:49 PM #16
I did the preliminary application on line to schedule a test date and was told thank you for applying...but since I have already reached the 37th birthday I cannot apply. I'll be 38 in November.Insert witty comment and disclaimer here.
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