CBP Officer openings

[chewy]

Have you been turned down by every other law enforcement agency?

Did you get fired from McDonald's for incompetence?


Do you have nothing in life left to look forward to????


Do you have the desire to work with some great people... and a few other incompetent morons who some how escaped the inevitable laws of Darwinism and weren't eaten by their parents and now do little to nothing, don't know their jobs let alone where they are half the time ONLY to find that they somehow seem to always get promoted before the people who actually KNOW how to do the job?.


GREAT NEWS, you can join US Customs & Border Protection, Office of Field Operations!!!

No, we aren't Special Agents,
No, we aren't Border Patrol,
No, we don't really do anything remotely exciting,
No, there is no job satisfaction,
No, there is nothing really great at all about us...


BUT, you WILL
get to sit on your arse for hours on end,
be treated like a retarded step child that can't function without thirteen people telling you what to do,
come to work and not perform AT ALL and still get paid,
carry a gun and a badge,
get to sit in patrol cars and feel like a real cop (by God, don't you dare drive anywhere or pull anyone over or chase anyone... but you can sit in it)


If this all sounds super exciting and you are kind of motivated to sort of do SOMETHING with your life but not really have to put out any effort but want to still get a steady paycheck whether you do anything or just go through the motions then THIS IS IT, This is THE JOB FOR YOU!!!

USAJOBS -




***Disclaimer***

Not all Ports allow you to do nothing. If you are in Detroit you most likely will be encouraged to do nothing but if you should happen to get hired to other ports you may be asked to work hard, arrests felons, seize narcotics vehicles money and other contraband, attempt to stop terrorists and other criminals from entering our country seeking to do harm. God forbid you get the Southern Border... Be prepared to SWEAT!!!

[Hannibal]

Chewy are you feeling a little, umm...., disgruntled today?

[Kimble]

Chewy are you feeling a little, umm...., disgruntled today?

That's just how Chewy rolls. The two things in life he loves most are CBP and Detroit (about as much as he hates the Coast Guard). The day he starts being un-disgruntled is the day I'll start worrying about him.

[chewy]

Chewy are you feeling a little, umm...., disgruntled today?

?????? You have to ask??? we work for the same people right? Oh, wait... YOU got to work the range this week!!

[Hannibal]

That's just how Chewy rolls. The two things in life he loves most are CBP and Detroit (about as much as he hates the Coast Guard). The day he starts being un-disgruntled is the day I'll start worrying about him.

He does seem to hate those Coasties.

[Second Chance]

I just got turned down from a job..............where do i sign up at??.......................

[armsmaster270]

Don't mess with us Coasties or we will have you sent to LA/Longbeach and you will have to work (Somewhat)

[Wolven]

Sometimes the thought of signing up and letting fate take its course sounds good. I am single..my family doesnt live here in Florida...shoot...it could be fun. But...I am still going to try for Washington for awhile...besides...do they have an age limit like most Fed LE jobs?

[Hannibal]

I just got turned down from a job..............where do i sign up at??.......................

www.usajobs.gov

http://jobsearch.usajobs.gov/jobsearch.asp?jbf522=1895&salm in=&salmax=&paygrademin=&paygr ademax=&FedEmp=N&tm=&sort=rv&v w=b&ss=0&brd=3876&FedPub=Y&cal ler=%2Fseries_search.asp&SUBMI T1.x=114&SUBMIT1.y=8

Sometimes the thought of signing up and letting fate take its course sounds good. I am single..my family doesnt live here in Florida...shoot...it could be fun. But...I am still going to try for Washington for awhile...besides...do they have an age limit like most Fed LE jobs?

Yep, cut off is 37 (I think).

[MacLean]

Yep, cut off is 37 (I think).

Pretty sure you can subtract your military service from the cutoff - or you used to be able to.

[Wolven]

Pretty sure you can subtract your military service from the cutoff - or you used to be able to.

I'd HAVE to that's for sure.

Damn it I dont feel old...can do the job...in pretty good shape. Geesh. What's next? AARP

[JSO85360]

I'd HAVE to that's for sure.

Damn it I dont feel old...can do the job...in pretty good shape. Geesh. What's next? AARP

Hey, I get 20% off at the movies and eat at 25% off some places too. You don't meet the age requirements for AARP anyway. You're just a schoolgirl.....

[Wolven]

Hey, I get 20% off at the movies and eat at 25% off some places too. You don't meet the age requirements for AARP anyway. You're just a schoolgirl.....

Goodie something to look forward to!

[Donut Aficionado]

How do I find out about taking some years off of my age for military? The Veterans Affairs has gotten so completely under my skin in the past week I have to make a move to something else other than glorified parking b!tch.

My Wife is loving her job at the tunnel.

[Wolven]

I looked all over the USAJobs and CBP site and didnt see anything about age. A few of the postings for other dept I did see age 37 but not all. Only problem is...I'd take a pay cut for some of the jobs.

[Donut Aficionado]

I did the preliminary application on line to schedule a test date and was told thank you for applying...but since I have already reached the 37th birthday I cannot apply. I'll be 38 in November.