Welcome to the APBWeb.
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 22
  1. #1
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    2,107
    Rep Power
    3876353

    A Good Night in the North

    Man has sex with dead deer
    Thursday, November 16, 2006

    Nice deer. Alive deer. Look at the picture of the nice deer. Do not think about how icky this story is.A man is accused of having sex with the carcass of a deer that he found lying beside the road – but his lawyer denies that he committed bestiality, on the grounds that a dead deer isn't an animal any more.

    20-year-old Bryan James Hathaway of Superior, Wisconsin allegedly had sex with the deer corpse after he found it on the roadside on October 11 this year. Authorities say he told police that he noticed the deer lying in a ditch, and then moved the corpse into the woods.

    He is charged with 'sexual gratification with an animal' – but in a magnificent piece of legal footwork, his attorney argues that he can't be guilty of that crime, because a carcass isn't an animal, the Duluth News Tribune reports.


    Public defender Fredric Anderson filed a motion last week which claimed: 'The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.'

    He said that if you try to include corpses in the category of 'animals', then 'you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.' The only clear place to draw a line in the definition of what is an animal, and what isn't, was at the point of death, he argued.

    He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.

    In response, prosecutor James Broughner argued that a deer carcass is still an animal – pointing out that in his statement to police, Hathaway called the corpse a 'dead deer,' demonstrating that he still thought of it as an animal.

    Judge Michael Lucci noted when hearing the arguments that: 'I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case.'

    If Hathaway is convicted, he could serve up to two years in prison, because of a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  2. #2
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    2,107
    Rep Power
    3876353
    I knew it was old, but I couldn't stop laughing my ass off when I heard them talking about our Northern Neighbors on the Radio this morning.
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  3. #3
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    2,107
    Rep Power
    3876353

    Talking I Got Me A Date!!!!



    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  4. #4
    bufford408's Avatar
    bufford408 is offline Just green and furry all over
    Join Date
    06-13-06
    Location
    R kin saw
    Posts
    948
    Rep Power
    268875
    The opinions of my posts are the sole responsibilty of my employer due to the fact that they have totally and completely warped my mind.



    .

  5. #5
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    06-15-06
    Location
    So. Florida
    Posts
    5,312
    Rep Power
    1659729
    OK so he has been charged with this in the past on a horse.....now a deer, this guy has real problems.

    Plus this guys lawyer is talking about sex with roasted Turkeys like its a common thing!!!!


    That town must really be short on women or the dead animals are just better at sex, I dont know which it is.
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


    Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!

    "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."
    -Ronald Reagan


    " I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
    General Norman Schwartzkopf

    Not all Muslims are Terrorists, but all Terrorists are Muslim.
    (author unknown)


    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

  6. #6
    bak407's Avatar
    bak407 is offline Butt Sniffer
    Join Date
    11-25-06
    Location
    Central kentucky
    Posts
    130
    Rep Power
    39454
    I'm gonna need some time to sort out all my freaky, nasty, perverted, and highly immoral smart-ass remarks on this one. Be back soon.
    FTL_Ian saved my career! Now my productivity is up 450%. Thanks FTL_Ian, you worked for me!


  7. #7
    OffDuty's Avatar
    OffDuty is offline The Shotgun is Family.
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    08-15-06
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    761
    Rep Power
    173520
    geez, you f*ck a dead deer ONE time, and youre a deerf*cker for life.

    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

  8. #8
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    2,107
    Rep Power
    3876353
    The Offender:


    The Indictment:






    The Appeal:



    Last edited by Pedro56; 12-06-06 at 02:34 PM. Reason: Center the Photo
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  9. #9
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401352
    Sheesh, he must have missed a class!


    You are supposed to beat your meat, not deer meat!
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  10. #10
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-18-06
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    2,107
    Rep Power
    3876353
    He is also known to go by the alias of Road Kill Romeo
    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/forums/signaturepics/sigpic763_2.gif

    "I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky

    "An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk

    Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.

    A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."

    God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.

  11. #11
    General Patten's Avatar
    General Patten is offline Surgeon General
    Join Date
    06-11-06
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,104
    Rep Power
    37773
    That is one disturbed individual...
    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

  12. #12
    Coloradocop's Avatar
    Coloradocop is offline It's the PoPo
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    08-16-06
    Location
    Denver
    Posts
    1,042
    Rep Power
    282670
    wow, now I think I've seen it all.

    I'm going to go sit in the corner and cry for a little while now

  13. #13
    CountyFourteen's Avatar
    CountyFourteen is offline Sergeant
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-21-06
    Posts
    1,077
    Rep Power
    5395879
    If he ever gets a girlfriend.....I wonder if she will let her call her a "pet" name of dear......
    Any Post I make is my opinion only!
    I do not have the authority or the permission to post for my Sheriff's Office.



  14. #14
    bak407's Avatar
    bak407 is offline Butt Sniffer
    Join Date
    11-25-06
    Location
    Central kentucky
    Posts
    130
    Rep Power
    39454
    Apparently this is not a new thing.....





    or rare.....

    FTL_Ian saved my career! Now my productivity is up 450%. Thanks FTL_Ian, you worked for me!


  15. #15
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    01-06-06
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    5,365
    Rep Power
    5488746
    HEY! Everyone needs a hobby! And at least in Wisconsin we charge them with a crime for this sort of thing. In Chicago, people would buy tickets to watch!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  16. #16
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
    Join Date
    04-26-06
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    6,177
    Rep Power
    1401352
    Quote Originally Posted by keith758 View Post
    HEY! Everyone needs a hobby! And at least in Wisconsin we charge them with a crime for this sort of thing. In Chicago, people would buy tickets to watch!
    And pay top dollar for the venison!
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  17. #17
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Verified LEO
    Site Moderator
    Join Date
    01-06-06
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    5,365
    Rep Power
    5488746
    I think the doe was asking for it. Have you ever noticed the coy little way they raise their tail and show off the goods when they run from ya?
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  18. #18
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,108
    Rep Power
    7439166
    Oh my god.. the appeal quotes "The Princess Bride" as if it were legal precident!
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  19. #19
    AITG is offline Master Officer
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    10-24-06
    Location
    Rural W MI
    Posts
    420
    Rep Power
    374631
    Puts a whole new spin on the expression "cheap date", doesn't it?

    Good things: they won't be reproducing - no kids to screw up. No 9-1-1 calls to break up fights. They probably will not argue about money / kids / sex. He won't have to go to the in-laws for holidays. She never nags him about getting a job / sobering up / paying bills, etc. She doesn't care if he forgets her birthday or their anniversary. He doesn't worry that she's cheating on him, ever.

    Bad thing: I'm thinking she may have an ... odor.

    There is no lower limit on human behavior.
    If I wanted people to like me I'd be a fireman.

  20. #20
    MissMyCaprice's Avatar
    MissMyCaprice is offline Master Officer
    Join Date
    09-24-06
    Location
    Southeast WA State
    Posts
    316
    Rep Power
    68205
    Hey, defense attorney or not, I gotta admire anybody who quotes "The Princess Bride" in a legal appeal.
    BAK, you spend waaaaay too much time finding goofy internet pictures. Keep up the good work!

 

 
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. NORTH VS SOUTH: How we feel about football
    By Cidp24 in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 06-27-07, 09:26 AM
  2. 10 reasons why good sex makes you healthier
    By Terminator in forum In the News
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 05-30-07, 08:32 PM
  3. Bored
    By BEK in forum General Topics
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 05-17-07, 10:58 PM
  4. Things I have learned living in North Carolina
    By carolina in forum Shenanigans
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 02-07-07, 12:17 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •