A Good Night in the North

**Pedro56** · 12-06-06, 11:12 AM

Man has sex with dead deer
Thursday, November 16, 2006

Nice deer. Alive deer. Look at the picture of the nice deer. Do not think about how icky this story is.A man is accused of having sex with the carcass of a deer that he found lying beside the road – but his lawyer denies that he committed bestiality, on the grounds that a dead deer isn't an animal any more.

20-year-old Bryan James Hathaway of Superior, Wisconsin allegedly had sex with the deer corpse after he found it on the roadside on October 11 this year. Authorities say he told police that he noticed the deer lying in a ditch, and then moved the corpse into the woods.

He is charged with 'sexual gratification with an animal' – but in a magnificent piece of legal footwork, his attorney argues that he can't be guilty of that crime, because a carcass isn't an animal, the Duluth News Tribune reports.

Public defender Fredric Anderson filed a motion last week which claimed: 'The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.'

He said that if you try to include corpses in the category of 'animals', then 'you really go down a slippery slope with absurd results.' The only clear place to draw a line in the definition of what is an animal, and what isn't, was at the point of death, he argued.

He gave the example of a roast turkey – with which it would be illegal to have sex under the braoder interpretation of the law – claiming that it was unreasonable to suggest it should still be classified as an animal for the purposes of law.

In response, prosecutor James Broughner argued that a deer carcass is still an animal – pointing out that in his statement to police, Hathaway called the corpse a 'dead deer,' demonstrating that he still thought of it as an animal.

Judge Michael Lucci noted when hearing the arguments that: 'I'm a little surprised this issue hasn't been tackled before in another case.'

If Hathaway is convicted, he could serve up to two years in prison, because of a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting dead a horse called Bambrick. So that he could have sex with it.

**Pedro56** · 12-06-06, 11:12 AM

I knew it was old, but I couldn't stop laughing my ass off when I heard them talking about our Northern Neighbors on the Radio this morning.

**Pedro56** · 12-06-06, 11:17 AM

**bufford408** · 12-06-06, 11:26 AM

Attachment 518

**BigDawg** · 12-06-06, 11:36 AM

OK so he has been charged with this in the past on a horse.....now a deer, this guy has real problems.

Plus this guys lawyer is talking about sex with roasted Turkeys like its a common thing!!!!

That town must really be short on women or the dead animals are just better at sex, I dont know which it is.

**bak407** · 12-06-06, 12:12 PM

I'm gonna need some time to sort out all my freaky, nasty, perverted, and highly immoral smart-ass remarks on this one. Be back soon.

**OffDuty** · 12-06-06, 12:49 PM

geez, you f*ck a dead deer ONE time, and youre a deerf*cker for life.

**Pedro56** · 12-06-06, 02:32 PM

The Offender:

The Indictment:

The Appeal:

**Willowdared** · 12-06-06, 02:35 PM

Sheesh, he must have missed a class!

You are supposed to beat your meat, not deer meat!

**Pedro56** · 12-06-06, 02:36 PM

He is also known to go by the alias of Road Kill Romeo

**General Patten** · 12-06-06, 02:56 PM

That is one disturbed individual...

**Coloradocop** · 12-06-06, 03:21 PM

wow, now I think I've seen it all.

I'm going to go sit in the corner and cry for a little while now

**CountyFourteen** · 12-06-06, 03:26 PM

If he ever gets a girlfriend.....I wonder if she will let her call her a "pet" name of dear......

**bak407** · 12-06-06, 03:43 PM

Apparently this is not a new thing.....

or rare.....

**keith720** · 12-06-06, 04:07 PM

HEY! Everyone needs a hobby! And at least in Wisconsin we charge them with a crime for this sort of thing. In Chicago, people would buy tickets to watch!

**Willowdared** · 12-06-06, 06:21 PM

Originally Posted by keith758

HEY! Everyone needs a hobby! And at least in Wisconsin we charge them with a crime for this sort of thing. In Chicago, people would buy tickets to watch!

And pay top dollar for the venison!

**keith720** · 12-06-06, 06:30 PM

I think the doe was asking for it. Have you ever noticed the coy little way they raise their tail and show off the goods when they run from ya?

**Ducky** · 12-06-06, 07:51 PM

Oh my god.. the appeal quotes "The Princess Bride" as if it were legal precident!

**AITG** · 12-07-06, 04:19 PM

Puts a whole new spin on the expression "cheap date", doesn't it?

Good things: they won't be reproducing - no kids to screw up. No 9-1-1 calls to break up fights. They probably will not argue about money / kids / sex. He won't have to go to the in-laws for holidays. She never nags him about getting a job / sobering up / paying bills, etc. She doesn't care if he forgets her birthday or their anniversary. He doesn't worry that she's cheating on him, ever.

Bad thing: I'm thinking she may have an ... odor.

There is no lower limit on human behavior.

**MissMyCaprice** · 12-08-06, 12:53 AM

Hey, defense attorney or not, I gotta admire anybody who quotes "The Princess Bride" in a legal appeal.
BAK, you spend waaaaay too much time finding goofy internet pictures. Keep up the good work!