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  1. #1
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    Thumbs down Baby born at 100 mph

    Husband plays midwife while driving 100 mph
    Baby delivered onto passenger seat of high-speed Dodge Neon
    The Associated Press
    Updated: 6:31 p.m. ET March 23, 2007

    ASHLAND, Wis. - Jereme Tauer Jr. was born at almost 100 mph as his parents hurtled down U.S. Highway 2 in northernmost Wisconsin in a Dodge Neon.

    His parents, Jereme and Lisa Tauer of Hurley, managed the birth without a doctor, pain medication or even stopping the car.

    "We were just shocked," said the baby's grandmother, Billi Tauer of Hurley. "When (her son) called, he was so excited, and we thought it was just over the birth. He's like, 'Ma, ma, ma, we have a boy! We have a boy, we have a boy — and, and, and, you're not going to believe — he was born in this car!"

    Lisa Tauer's contractions started about 3 a.m. Tuesday. Her husband took their 16-month-old daughter to his parents' home and then returned to take her to the hospital.

    "By the time he came back, I was standing on the street and waiting for him to get in my car," she said. "By then, my contractions were 10 minutes apart. So I'm like, 'OK, we have time.'"

    But as Lisa, a 28-year-old manager at Fashion Bug, and Jereme, a 29-year-old carpenter and mason, sped toward the hospital, her contractions became more frequent and her water broke.

    ‘I can’t just breathe’
    "I felt like I needed to push, and he was telling me, 'Don't push, just breathe,'" she said. "I was like, 'I can't just breathe. The breathing's not working anymore!'"

    She pushed "a little bit" and felt better. Then Jereme turned on the car's interior light, and the surprised couple saw the baby's head.

    "I was like, 'I better push it all the way out,'" Lisa Tauer said. "So he was holding onto the head, while I was trying to push."

    She reclined her seat as much as possible.

    "I was like really high up, so the baby landed right on the seat," Lisa Tauer said.

    Her husband was driving at 90 mph to 100 mph and trying to keep an eye on the road.

    ‘Watched him, watched the road, watched him’
    "I just kind of cradled him as he came out, and watched him, watched the road. Watched him, watched the road," Jereme Tauer Sr. said. "There wasn't even time to stop, to hit the brakes and stop."

    With the six-pound, 13-ounce boy in the car, the couple spotted a squad car. Jereme Tauer flashed his lights, pulled over and explained the situation. The officer escorted them to Memorial Medical Center in Ashland, about 220 miles northeast of Minneapolis.

    Jereme Tauer said one good thing about the experience is that he won't forget the moment his son was born.

    "I had a good look at the time, because it's right by the dashboard," he said. "It was 4:35."

    And for this you, sir, get the real dumbshit award.

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    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  2. #2
    HudsonHawk's Avatar
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    OK which one of you Wisconsin traffic whores is going to cite the father?
    "never bring paws to a gunfight" - Jenna

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    there comes a time to stop, deliver the kid, then continue to the hospital. Damn. It's not like they were bleeding to death. Do most people forget that it's only been in the last 50-70 years that people would bother going to the hospital to have kids? Most were born at home with a midwife.
    \\
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  5. #5
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    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    We only have his work for it on the speed.

    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
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  6. #6
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    Quote Originally Posted by vengeance05 View Post
    OK which one of you Wisconsin traffic whores is going to cite the father?
    LMAO.. .that was funny
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  7. #7
    Ducky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Virginian View Post
    If they nickname the kid Ricky Bobby, do we get to form a line to slap them?
    \\
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    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  8. #8
    10-42Adam's Avatar
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    Calm Like A Bomb...

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