Sister refuses to save brother

**213th** · 03-25-07, 01:51 AM

Sister of Dying Man Refuses to Donate Bone Marrow to Save His Life
Saturday , March 24, 2007

The sister of a man who is dying of leukemia is refusing to donate bone marrow to the British man, according to a London newspaper.

Simon Pretty, a father of three, told the Daily Mail that his sister Helen Pretty would not donate her bone marrow, which is a perfect match and could save his life.

Click here to read the full report.

Without the donation, Pretty could be dead by the end of the year. He would leave behind his wife Jacqueline and his children: Rebecca, 8, Jack, 6, and Benjamin, 3.

Pretty is receiving aggressive chemotherapy treatments in hopes that in the meantime another match may be found. The national bone marrow register did not provide any matches and doctors are now looking in international databases, the Mail reported.

"I am on death row," Pretty told the Mail. "I can’t believe that she would let my three children lose their father so unnecessarily by her actions."

Helen Pretty declined to comment for the story.

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**jmur5074** · 03-25-07, 02:08 AM

speechless.

**Trojan 42** · 03-25-07, 05:01 AM

She seems to be a bitch of the first degree! She has to think of her own family first? Bullshit.

**213th** · 03-25-07, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by stokerress

Pretty damn selfish, question is what is the deal, is she scared of the painful procedure; are they having a family fued and she is being difficult..I think she should give it up..She would want him to help her if she was in that situation.

While I ended up not having to donate, I was tested when I was 12 for a family member who needed a transplant. I saw what she went through everytime she had a biopsy, however I still of my own free will opted to get tested for a match....I'd like to think that anyone would do that for a close family member...but I guess not...glad she isn't my sister.

**BEB** · 03-25-07, 06:54 AM

Originally Posted by 213th

While I ended up not having to donate, I was tested when I was 12 for a family member who needed a transplant. I saw what she went through everytime she had a biopsy, however I still of my own free will opted to get tested for a match....I'd like to think that anyone would do that for a close family member...but I guess not...glad she isn't my sister.

I donate blood, but I don't think the Red Cross is matching me for tissue beyond blood type. Without volunteering to be part of a match registry, as so few as to none have done, I'll never run into this quandary.

If I did so I also would have no history with the person in need. That part of the story is not addressed. Fear of the bone needle? Sibling grudge? Or worse?

Seems to me there are two parts to this story - one family, one political. What is one's duty to family? Coming soon to a genetic bank near you - nearer your children - what is the duty to help someone you're not related to?

I won't condemn this woman until or if the whole family history comes out. As one person who could help another with a needle extraction - I'd want to know the other person. She does; maybe she knows some reason he doesn't deserve it.

**213th** · 03-25-07, 07:00 AM

Originally Posted by BugEyedBeast

Seems to me there are two parts to this story - one family, one political. What is one's duty to family? Coming soon to a genetic bank near you - nearer your children - what is the duty to help someone you're not related to?

I won't condemn this woman until or if the whole family history comes out. As one person who could help another with a needle extraction - I'd want to know the other person. She does; maybe she knows some reason he doesn't deserve it.

True, if I were in his place, I wouldn't have run to the media with my story, but maybe that is just me. But I think I'd focus my remaining energy on my wife and children.

Maybe she does know something...who knows...

**213th** · 03-25-07, 07:18 AM

But I doubt she knows something we don't...she got the test, which is not done with normal blood draws, to determine if she was a match. Apparently she was the highest match (five point match if I remember right). Why would she go through that just to say no at the end, unless she didn't believe she would be a match and wasn't counting on having to be in the position to have to choose between her brother and an operation? Thats my thought on it...

**gozling** · 03-25-07, 08:16 AM

maybe she did the test so if she was a match she could say no.... just to spite him for something unknown...
there has got to be a huge reason for her not doing this... I would hope to think...
geesh maybe he molested her or something sick like that etc....

I cant pass my judgement on her, I just cant.... this reminds me of all the cop stories that only has one side posted.

Until I hear something about her reasoning... and maybe that wont come out until after the guy is gone... I cant think she is just doing this for no reason.

and I do feel for his family.

**213th** · 03-25-07, 08:19 AM

Originally Posted by gozling

maybe she did the test so if she was a match she could say no.... just to spite him for something unknown...
there has got to be a huge reason for her not doing this... I would hope to think...
geesh maybe he molested her or something sick like that etc....

I cant pass my judgement on her, I just cant.... this reminds me of all the cop stories that only has one side posted.

Until I hear something about her reasoning... and maybe that wont come out until after the guy is gone... I cant think she is just doing this for no reason.

and I do feel for his family.

True. I noticed that no other family members had anything to say in the article. I couldn't help but wonder if they also declined to comment or if the news media didn't think to talk to anyone else...

She didn't want to talk to the newspaper. So whatever her reason is, it's more important then being found guilty in the court of public opinion cause thats pretty much going to happen. Who knows? What if she has Hep-c or HIV or some other blood-borne disease and doesn't want her family to find out? Unlikely, yeah, but stranger things have happened...

**gozling** · 03-25-07, 08:24 AM

yeah.. if the rest of the family is not objecting and up in arms over this... something more is going on...

either with her or with him...

and in a weird way she could be protecting his children from something...
i dont know...

I would think that the rest of the family would be furious and would contact the media themselves...

just sounds all to weird to me. Usually the disease test is taken care of and you are declined as a match... at least I thought...

**213th** · 03-25-07, 08:29 AM

Originally Posted by gozling

just sounds all to weird to me. Usually the disease test is taken care of and you are declined as a match... at least I thought...

To be honest I have no idea. She has got her reasons though. If it were me, I'd do it for my family, but I have no reason not too...

**Willowdared** · 03-25-07, 01:20 PM

When I did a Google search....every story headline was....

"I've Been Condemed to Death by my Sister!"

Makes him sound like a bit of an asshole to me.

I'd like the rest of the story...maybe his prognosis isn't as good as he's presenting?

**Willowdared** · 03-25-07, 01:23 PM

CONDEMNED TO DIE BY MY OWN SISTER
By Paul Byrne 24/03/2007

A CANCER victim claims he will die because his sister will not donate her bone marrow.

Leukaemia sufferer Simon Pretty, 46, has a rare tissue type and doctors believe sibling Helen, 43, is the only person in the world who is a perfect match.

But she refuses to have the vital operation and the chances of finding another donor are slim - which means the dad-of-three could die within months.

His partner Jacqueline Fenton now fears she will be left to bring up their children Rebecca, eight, Jack, six, and Benjamin, three, on her own. Simon, who is having chemotherapy, said: "We found a prayer in Rebecca's coat which said, 'Please don't let my daddy die from cancer.' That brought tears to my eyes.

"When people hear about what has happened they are lost for words," said the human resources manager from Mobberley, Cheshire. In July 2004, he was diagnosed with the rare cancer acute promyelocytic leukaemia.

Simon, who admits he was never close to his sister, claims she agreed to help but then changed her mind.

Doctors only gave him a 45 per cent chance of surviving the first stage of chemotherapy at the Christie Hospital in Manchester.

Then, in January, Simon returned home and broke down over the cure that was being denied him. In desperation, Jacqueline visited Helen at her home hoping she could convince her.

But the mother-of-two again refused to have the op, claiming: "I am putting my family first." Jacqueline revealed: "I said, 'Don't you care if your brother dies?' She said, 'It's very sad'."

She launched herself at Helen. The pair scuffled on the doorstep and Jacqueline was arrested. No further action was taken but Helen's solicitor instructed Jacqueline to stay away. Helen, who runs a private education business in Wilmslow, Cheshire, refused to comment.

Bone marrow cells can be extracted from a hole drilled in the pelvic bone, an operation done under general anaesthetic. A less invasive technique involves injecting a growth hormone to stimulate cell movement in the blood before harvesting cells.

**213th** · 03-25-07, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by PDawg

Leukaemia sufferer Simon Pretty, 46, has a rare tissue type and doctors believe sibling Helen, 43, is the only person in the world who is a perfect match.

Even if they are wrong and there is someone else in the world that is a perfect match, what are the chances that that one person will have been tested, or would volunteer to be tested? How likely is it that they even have heard the story?

**Willowdared** · 03-25-07, 05:44 PM

Originally Posted by 213th

Even if they are wrong and there is someone else in the world that is a perfect match, what are the chances that that one person will have been tested, or would volunteer to be tested? How likely is it that they even have heard the story?

I don't know. When I first posted that, I had not found any article that said she had actually been tested, so it appeared as if it was an assumption that she was a match. After further search, I only found one story that said the sister had actually been tested, and that was in 2004, when he was diagnosed.

I just find his public accusations offensive, and in extremely poor taste. It strikes me as rather bullyish.

Someone's willingness to undergo an invasive medical procedure, whatever the reason, should not be judged by anyone else.

I dont' think we'd be having this discussion if it were a kidney, or a section of liver?

**213th** · 03-25-07, 06:00 PM

Originally Posted by PDawg

I just find his public accusations offensive, and in extremely poor taste. It strikes me as rather bullyish.

Someone's willingness to undergo an invasive medical procedure, whatever the reason, should not be judged by anyone else.

I dont' think we'd be having this discussion if it were a kidney, or a section of liver?

I agree that it was in poor taste to go run to the media. His remaining days are probably better spent with his wife and kids.

I agree, it is that person's choice alone.

I don't see how it would be any different if it were a body organ over bone marrow tissue. It's the same, either you have the operation or not.

**gozling** · 03-25-07, 06:13 PM

a real man would have never done this to his sister

what an ass

there is something called dignity in death....

I can sympathize with this man to some degree... when I was really sick last year with Cancer all I wanted to do was SAVE my loved ones the pain of having to deal with me.... I would have never even asked them to do anything...
if they offered then that was their greatest human gift to me.

**Ducky** · 03-25-07, 06:22 PM

I guess now's not the time to be thankful that my brothers and I aren't a match anyhow, although either one would donate to me just so they can harass me into old, old OLD age. I feel for the guy, but you have to wonder what the back story is to this. She could be a totally selfish witch or silently sick, but she could also know something about this sainted brother of hers that is unredeemable. Isn't it fun to speculate?