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Thread: C String NSFW

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    C String NSFW

    Forget the G-string - can ANYONE wear the new C-string?

    A model shows off the C-string

    Alice Smellie has decided the C-string is only good for 20-year old models. This is the stuff of nightmares. I am walking down the road pushing a buggy when I have to bend down to pick up a dropped toy. A passing van driver leers at me and then beeps his horn. But itís not because of my blonde hair: itís because I look as if I forgot to put on any underwear that morning.

    Thatís what happens on my first day wearing the "C-String", a bad dream in underwear form. According the promotional blurb, it is "sexy, elegant and completely unique". If youíre an ordinary-shaped person, thatís one out of three, and it ainít the first two.

    The C-string consists of the front part of a thong-style pair of knickers, held up with a little bit of wire at the back. The idea is that you pop it on, and it stays put. Think of an unevenly shaped wired headband, and youíre half-way there - the name derives from the C shape. Then imagine wearing it on your bottom.
    The manufacturers suggest that you wear it with outfits that might show a panty line, or even as swimwear so that you donít get tan lines across your bottom.

    Personally, I would rather go to the beach wearing full ski-gear than wear a skimpy headband as a part of bikini bottoms. But then, after two children, I feel racy wearing a coloured bra.
    However, I have agreed to road test the C-string for a week. I receive my consignment by post in a minute envelope. No extra postage needed on this item. Then I dangle the C-string thoughtfully from my finger. It doesnít look big enough for a childís bottom, never mind one belonging to a decent-sized woman.

    My two-year-old son Archie wanders into the study and his eyes light up. "Whatís that, Mummy?" he asks. Iím momentarily stumped. "Itís pants," I admit. He giggles. "But whereís Noddy?" Ah. Most pants in our house have Noddy on them. "Thereís no room for Noddy to live," I explain. He seems satisfied.

    While the C-string consists of less material than a gnatís handkerchief, it is not easy to get on being so springy and slight.
    Once I have struggled into it I glance in the mirror and am horrified. You need the limbs of Elle Macpherson to carry this look off.

    Thankfully my husband has gone to Spain for a few days with his friends, so is unable to laugh at me - or be sick at the sight of his wife looking like a lapdancer at 7am.

    Dressed in hipster jeans I wander gingerly downstairs. Already the pants are chafing. I rapidly realise that hipsters are the wrong item of clothing for the C-string.
    I take the children to the park and fall into conversation with a pleasant-seeming couple with a child a little older than Archie.
    Our children smile shyly at each other and take turns on the slide. And then Oscar, my youngest, falls down and I bend over...an apparently underwear-free mother. The couple make their excuses and leave the park quickly, glancing behind them as they leave.

    My aunt comes to stay for the weekend, and I show her my racy underwear. I tell her, quoting directly from the manufacturers, that the C- string is: "Ideal for the beach or the bedroom".
    "Wouldnít it be a bit uncomfortable to sleep in?" she asks.
    When I have stopped laughing we agree that thatís undoubtedly not what they meant.
    When my husband returns from his boysí weekend away I canvass his opinion. "Iím testing out a new pair of pants," I announce. My husband doesnít even look up from the telly, where Jeremy Clarkson is telling him something about cars. I try again. Still no response. He is really tired. Then I announce: "Theyíre invisible." The weary head whips round and the tired eyes pop open. Ha! Got him. Unfortunately, when I show them to him he is faintly repelled.

    The next day I drop Archie off at nursery and grab my fellow mummy friend Zoe as she is scooting off. "I need to ask you about my pants," I hiss. She looks at the sample C- string I am holding - if I showed her in situ Iíd be arrested - and exclaims in horror "Itís awful. It must dig into you!" "Is it terribly painful?" she adds sympathetically. I grimace bravely and hobble home.

    My innate fear is of being carted off to hospital in the wrong underwear, so I find myself driving particularly carefully and crossing the road with extra caution. Any medic seeing my bottom would be laughing too hard to carry out life-saving procedures.

    On the fourth day I have to wear a skirt because itís so hot. As well as feeling vulnerable, I am absolutely terrified that my pants are going to fall off. How will I explain as I scoop my C-string hastily off the pavement? But it stands fast, which relieves me, but whenever a small child tugs at my skirt I feel it slipping inexorably down. You canít push away a one-year-old who has only just started to walk, so I solve the problem by not leaving the house.

    I am impressed to note that there is no apparent panty line to ruin the line of my skirt, but again, Iím afraid I just look as though Iím not wearing anything, which frankly looks worse. However, when I try on an evening dress I am impressed. Normally I can see the smallest of thongs, but with the C-string nothing is visible, and the dress does look more elegant than usual.

    I am nothing if not thorough. While there is no way I am going to test out the C-string while sunbathing in our overlooked London garden, I do have a shower wearing one to see if it would stand up to the rigours of a swimming pool. The practical answer is yes, but the mirrors in the bathroom say a firm "no". A girlsí night out seals the fate of my new pants. A host of giggling and tipsy thirty-something friends confirm that although they undoubtedly have a place in the drawers of the idle rich, size eight, 20-year-old models, they donít quite work in day-to-day life.
    C-strings? Frankly theyíre pants!

    That looks like a definite "ouch"
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  2. #2
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  3. #3
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    umm i am wondering how it stays in place...
    do you have to stick it up yer bum
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

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    To his world of illusion

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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    umm i am wondering how it stays in place...
    do you have to stick it up yer bum
    A lot of clenching i am guessing, so it would be making you walk like your chewing a toffee
    If at first you don't succeed, then bomb disposal probably isn't for you.

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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    umm i am wondering how it stays in place...
    do you have to stick it up yer bum
    Well why don't you buy one, take pictures of yourself in it and post them here, and then you can tell us how it stays in place.
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  6. #6
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    Damn, that's a REALLY under wire.


    No way in HELL would I wear that. It looks like a stiff thong panty liner that doesn't know when to stop.
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  7. #7
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    Im all for it. I think its hot. Who cares if noone thinks your wearing underwear??!?!?

  8. #8
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    What's the point?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackcamaro8895 View Post
    Im all for it. I think its hot. Who cares if noone thinks your wearing underwear??!?!?
    YAY!!!

    500 fights, that's the number I figured when I was a kid. 500 street fights and you could consider yourself a legitimate tough guy. You need them for experience. To develop leather skin. So I got started. Of course along the way you stop thinking about being tough and all that. It stops being the point. You get past the silliness of it all. But then, after, you realize that's what you are.


  10. #10
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    WTF....seriously. Wouldn't just be less of a pain in the ass to go commando??? I don't get you women...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    WTF....seriously. Wouldn't just be less of a pain in the ass to go commando??? I don't get you women...

    You women? Hey man....I'm right there with ya. If people already don't think you're wearing any, what the hell....DON'T WEAR ANY for crying out loud. That would be better than having some hard looking piece of plastic sticking up your a$$ crack. Right?!?! Hell, I'm more comfort.....I mean....I will be more comfortable without them anyway!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    WTF....seriously. Wouldn't just be less of a pain in the ass to go commando??? I don't get you women...
    Its all in the sexiness.......come on now

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by blackcamaro8895 View Post
    Its all in the sexiness.......come on now
    I seriously don't think that compares to a thong or commando. It looks like an oversized, fortified, silk covered maxi pad...
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    I seriously don't think that compares to a thong or commando. It looks like an oversized, fortified, silk covered maxi pad...
    Are you saying that the wonderful new c-string doesnt interest you at all whatsoever?



    Can you imagine what a guy would look like wearing one?? AHHHH HAHAHAHHAA

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    Rep for the first LEF C-string model...

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    phantasm is offline Corporal
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    I'd have to say that this is pretty much beyond trashy.

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    Where do we get ours????
    " The hardest thing about disarming an armed suspect is not slipping on your own shit "

    Michael P. Gordon E.O.W 08 Aug 2004




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    Quote Originally Posted by bird1 View Post

    Where do we get ours????

    Holy freaken shit batman!
    why in the world would you want to ruin a great thing here, you know the thread!!!!!!
    it was just getting good, and bam, out of nowhere you have this huge, well nevermind, but man come-on, really, damn, that just ruined everything.
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    I am with you Black camaro get one and show us

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    Sorry guys I hope this cures the blindness
    " The hardest thing about disarming an armed suspect is not slipping on your own shit "

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