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Thread: "Man crushes"

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    Terminator's Avatar
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    "Man crushes"

    "Man Crushes"

    Justin Timberlake and I should be together.

    Certainly not in a physical sense, or any other way that would jeopardize my marriage. This isn't about switching sides, experimentation or a fetish for guys who used to be in boy bands.

    I just really want to hang out with him. Like, forever.

    We're talking, of course, about a Man Crush -- the completely non-sexual feelings that develop when one heterosexual male finds another dude to be so cool that Guy No. 1 wants to spend as much time as possible with Guy No. 2. Aristotle had a Man Crush on Plato. Richie Cunningham had a Man Crush on the Fonz. And for the entire month of April and part of May, everyone in the Bay Area with a Y chromosome had a Man Crush on Golden State Warriors star Baron Davis.

    The Man Crush has always been a delicate subject among straight men, with a very complicated rule set. It's considered OK to spontaneously proclaim your love for an NFL quarterback when he just scored a touchdown. It's not cool to point out that Bob from human resources always looks nice in that blue sweater. It's socially acceptable to have a poster of a shirtless and sweaty James Hetfield from Metallica on your wall, but never a half-naked or even fully clothed picture of Orlando Bloom.

    But we're at a crucial point in Man Crush history, where a perfect storm of events could make it possible for even the most insecure guy to proclaim his undying like for his fellow man.

    A new "Ocean's Eleven" sequel arrives in theaters this week, co-starring the holy MC trinity of George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon. Those three actors working together -- and that Don Cheadle ain't bad looking either -- have inspired more guy-on-guy crushes since members of the band Led Zeppelin were in their Misty Mountain Hopping prime.

    "Ocean's Thirteen," the cinematic Man Crush event of the summer, will be followed by king metrosexual David Beckham's U.S. soccer debut in August, Timberlake's "FutureSex/LoveShow" HP Pavilion tour stop in September and then a potential San Francisco mayoral race repeat of Gavin Newsom versus Matt Gonzalez. It may be 72 degrees in the Sunset District without a cloud in the sky as you read this, but make no mistake: It's definitely raining men.

    So why do so many guys fight it?

    Every human being on the planet is born with the ability to figure out who he or she would find attractive if his or her sexual preference suddenly reversed polarity. Ask any straight woman what female celebrity she would want to date if she were a man: Chances are good she already has a list in her head, if not written down on a Post-it in her wallet. (Chances are even better that Eva Longoria is in the top three. Chicks dig Longoria.)

    But ask a man to name a few guys whom he'd like to spend more time with, and depending on how close you are to a Red State, you might get a rude response. Unfortunately, we live in a time when a healthy Man Crush is still taboo, forcing millions of guys to insist that they're watching professional wrestling for the interesting storylines.

    There's no Man Crush Hall of Fame or Man Crush Historical Museum, but there probably should be.

    In fact, the Man Crush dates back to the Paleolithic era, where cave drawings show a prehistoric guy felling a wooly mammoth with a single spear, and then another caveman following him around for the next two weeks, offering to pull fleas out of his beard and help haul stuff down to the tar pit. Mark Antony became the second-most-powerful man in Rome based on his ability to elicit crushes from his troops (at least that's how it went in the HBO series), and U.S. President Thomas Jefferson (hot!) was elected mostly on the wealthy landowner Man Crush vote.

    In recent years, Hollywood has created an entire genre of Man Crush cinema, even though no studio executive has the guts to call it by its name. From "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and "Cool Hand Luke" to "Road House" and "Swingers," men have spent hundreds of millions of box-office dollars to spend two hours hanging out with Paul Newman, Patrick Swayze and Vince Vaughn. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has made a living profiting off the crushes he attracted in three different entertainment media: football, wrestling and action movies.

    Even if you've been in denial for a decade or three, it's easy to determine your Man Crush. Here are five common categories to get you started:

    Fictional Characters: Almost every guy you'll meet between the ages of 25 and 40 has experienced a Man Crush on a character played by Harrison Ford. Ninety-eight percent of the time it's Han Solo or Indiana Jones, although there's a smaller group -- kind of like the Green Party -- that will insist they have a Man Crush on his Richard Kimble character from "The Fugitive."

    Sports Figures: After 49ers quarterback Steve Young made that 1988 touchdown against the Minnesota Vikings, where he broke something like 137 tackles before stumbling into the end zone, who among us didn't want to spend an entire weekend watching "Die Hard" movies and eating nachos with the guy?

    Local Specimens: San Francisco's notoriously skewed eligible man-to-woman ratio may be a bummer if you're single and female, but it's great news for the regional Man Crush statistics. From San Francisco Symphony Music Director Michael Tilson Thomas to Giants pitcher Barry Zito, almost every public figure is dreamy. Bay Area politicians are also hotter than average, with Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums -- an elder Man Crush -- recently joining the ranks.

    George Clooney: There's a reason why this one-time "The Facts of Life" co-star continues to make more than $10 million per picture, even though half of his movies are almost unwatchably bad: He's equally appealing to men and women -- and may be the only guy making more than $100,000 per year who still drinks Budweiser.

    That Guy at Work Who Always Wears Nice Shirts: There's a guy in every workplace who is kind of intimidating because his shirts always fit really well, and he can pull off things like a yellow cashmere sweater with a dark blue blazer, jeans and light brown soft leather loafers. Get over yourself. You should definitely ask this guy to take you shopping.

    Guys With Falsetto Voices Who Used to Date Britney Spears When She Was Still Hot: If you had told me five years ago that I would develop a Man Crush on Justin Timberlake, I would have spit out my Zima. But you have to admit, from the "Dick in a Box" video short on "Saturday Night Live" to the singer's unfailing ability to shack up with really attractive women, he's become pretty awesome. Maybe not Daniel Craig-in-"Casino Royale" hot, but appealing nonetheless. I buy all of his albums, give them to my wife as gifts, and then listen to them myself in private. And some day, I hope that JT and I can spend a weekend bass fishing and rebuilding a carburetor together, without the rest of the world feeling the need to judge.

    Should you meet your crush, there's no need to do anything special, other than the normal stammering and awkward pauses that result when conversing with someone you really admire. (The "Saturday Night Live" Chris Farley interview of Paul McCartney is a good example.) If you're doing the job right, the recipient of your crush might be a little creeped out.

    But rest assured that you're doing nothing wrong. If God didn't want us to have crushes on other men, why did he make Derek Jeter so freaking cool?

  2. #2
    gozling's Avatar
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    *puts fingers in ears*
    lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala alalaa

    sort of disturbing... man crush
    can't it be called something else?
    ANYthing else?
    lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

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    Secure guys can admit that about themselves.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


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    Ok I guess I'll be a man and go first. Hello all my name is John, and I have a man crush.



    Thats me and chuck after he came to my house to play soccer. He is the C LEST.
    Wise men stand behind me, brave men stand beside me, but only fools stand against me.

    The force that propels you to prevail when you are put to a test of survival will be a mindset that refuses to accept nothing but winning.

    Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to reach out and bitch slap that motherf*cker upside the head.

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    Ya'll are scaring me.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


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    Did you write that yourself, Terminator?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    Did you write that yourself, Terminator?
    HELL NO, don't push your luck!

  8. #8
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    Hey, guys that are secure in their masculinity are HOT.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


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    they are hot...
    but there are some things i just dont want to know about which resides in their world
    lol
    eek
    la la la la
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  11. #11
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    just reading and learning!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

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    Hmm. So if a guy has a man-crush, does that mean that his man-card is automatically revoked?




  13. #13
    Terminator's Avatar
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    From the Urban Dictionary:


    1. Man Crush

    When a straight man has a "crush" on another man, not sexual but kind of idolizing him.

    Many straight men end up having man crushes on Johnny Depp (I don't blame them).


    2. man crush

    A man who has a crush on another man without sexual attraction.

    "Hey, Ted. I heard you spent the night over at Dave's."
    "Yeah, we played twister and scrabble and watched movies, and spent all night talking, bizzatch."
    "Dude, you're 35, acting like you're 12, and you're using his language. You've got a man crush."


    3. man crush

    A man having extreme admiration for another man, as though he wants to be him.

    First used by radio personality Greg Henson of Detroit's "Motor City Middays"

    "I've got one hell of a man crush on Hugh Hefner. He's made all the right moves."


    4. Man Crush

    For a man to have a very close platonic friendship and/or admiration for another man.

    "Ben Affleck has had a man crush on Matt Damon for a long time."


    5. man crush

    Man crush is a very strong feeling that one straight man has for another, bordering on the romantic but not the sexual. It's love allright but not the love that makes you want to get into his pants. It can be stronger than the love between a man and a woman.

    Man crush is like the relationship between Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers.


    6. man crush

    Noun. A platonic love that one man has for another man. Usually characterized by good-natured competitiveness or the ability to hold very different views yet still behave as close friends through mutual respect.

    Dave thinks Frank is the best thing since sliced bread. He has a man crush.


    7. man crush

    What elan has for brad pitt and keanu reeves

    "Dude, brad pitt is phenomenal i think i have a man crush."


    8. man crush

    to be inexplicably attracted to member of the male sex whilst under narcotic influence, particularly ketamine hydrochloride

    "if i'm really high on K, i get man crushes"

    haw haw...rogues a fag!


    9. man crush

    The feelings every straight man has for Vince Young. It is neither sexual nor is it in any way homosexual.

    It's completely normal to have a man crush on Vince Young.


    10. man crush

    A word used to describe a competitive interaction between males. Often the users of this phrase are female's with crushes on Johnny Depp.

    That Andyn said Danny had a man crush on Kahan was evidence that she had a thing for pirates.


    11. Man Crush

    To like a dude if you are another dude.

    Wolfe: Hey Commerce, what are you staring at?

    Commerce: A picture of Donnie, he is cute

  14. #14
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    I have several man-crushes. This is one:

    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

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    crush [krush]
    v (past crushed, past participle crushed, present participle crush&#183;ing, 3rd person present singular crush&#183;es)

    1. vti compress something: to compress somebody or something, or become compressed, causing injury, damage, or distortion
    2. vti crease something: to compress a fabric or item of clothing, or become compressed, causing creasing or crumpling
    3. vti grind something: to grind something, or become ground, into bits
    4. vt quell protest: to put down a protest or movement using force
    5. vt overwhelm somebody or something: to defeat, subdue, or suppress somebody or something overwhelmingly
    6. vt mash fruit: to reduce fruit or vegetables to juice and pulp by pressing
    7. vt squash somebody: to exert physical pressure on somebody by hugging, pressing, or pushing
    8. vt humiliate somebody: to humiliate somebody by the force of a remark, criticism, or argument
    9. vi crowd together: to move in a mass or crowd


    n (plural crush&#183;es)
    1. crowd: a crowd or mass, especially of people
    2. crowding: a crowded situation or mass especially of people, or an action that results in this
    3. food fruit drink: a drink containing the juice from crushed fruit
    4. temporary romantic attraction: a temporary romantic infatuation (informal)
    a teenage crush

    5. object of somebody’s crush: the person who is the object of somebody’s romantic infatuation (informal)


    Encarta &#174; World English Dictionary &#169; & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.




    I hope this helps sort this out.
    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  16. #16
    gozling's Avatar
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    what ever happend to just respecting your peers?
    yeah... i thought crush had some sort of weirdness to it... lol

    someone has to have one of those gay poster pictures to add
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  17. #17
    Terminator's Avatar
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    For those confused, I did NOT write this article, I simply posted it on LEF.

  18. #18
    Jenna's Avatar
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    I think I know who Terminator's man crush is!




  19. #19
    gozling's Avatar
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    yeah but do you have a man crush on the guy who wrote it
    huh?l huh?
    poka poka
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  20. #20
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    someone has to have one of those gay poster pictures to add

 

 
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