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  1. #1
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Teenager busted having sex with cow

    COPS rushed to a farm to put a kinky teenager udder arrest — after he was seen romping with a COW.

    A shocked passer-by rang 999 after seeing the youth — wearing only black briefs — having sex with the steer at 4.30am.

    By the time officers arrived he had fled but night-time patrols are on the alert in case he strikes again.

    Farmer Richard Parish was stunned to hear what had happened to the cow, one of three rare English longhorns in the field.

    Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

    He said: “English longhorns are lovely animals — but not that lovely. My mates are having a right laugh and milking it for all it is worth.”

    The teenager was scared off when the passer-by shouted at him at Richard’s farm in Skipwith, North Yorks. Locals in the tiny village, which has a population of less than 300, are certain he was not from the area.

    Richard thinks the attacker may even have “wooed” Blondie with grub because a feed bucket had mysteriously moved from time to time.

    He added: “I have got to be much more vigilant. The cows don’t seem to be spending so much time outside and are happier inside the barn at night.”

    Fellow farmer Alan Patrick said: “I can’t believe it.”

    Police said: “We are treating this matter seriously.”

  2. #2
    tapout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post

    Specialist breeder Richard, 39, even thinks he knows which of them was the victim — a looker named Blondie who is the FRIENDLIEST.

    obviously the cow was asking for it, being all flirty and what not, what did it expect
    in the warriors code there's no surrender, though his body says stop, his spirit cries...NEVER. deep in our souls, a quiet ember, knows its you against you, its the paradox that drives us all. its a battle of wills, in the heat of attack, its the passion that kills, and victory is yours alone.


    the posts and opinions stated by me do not in any way reflect the values, beliefs, or views of my department. they are simply opinions and/or observations which have been developed through my personal experiences. hell, most of the stories probably arent even true...wink wink

  3. #3
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    k-9max is offline K9 Officer
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    thats absolutly fucking gross.

    someone like that needs well, i aint going say what he needs on here, but to the least, hung from a tree by his dick.
    YEAH, IM THE BERRIES, AND CHERRIES IN YOUR REAR VIEW MIRROR.

    Handle every stressful situation like a dog.
    Eat it, Play with it, or piss on it, and walk away!

    As smart as man is, we haven't been able to invent a machine that can smell drugs or tell us where a person has walked,” Dogs are sophisticated investigative tools!

  4. #4
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    I kind of get this one. I have been to a few places that the women closely enough resembled cattle that I can see a mistake being made.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  5. #5
    tapout's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    I kind of get this one. I have been to a few places that the women closely enough resembled cattle that I can see a mistake being made.
    yeah, they did a follow up story to this article the next day...turns out it actually wasnt a cow, it was the farmers extremely obese and fugly red neck wife the teen was making sweet love to

    honest mistake on the part of the passerby...it happens
    in the warriors code there's no surrender, though his body says stop, his spirit cries...NEVER. deep in our souls, a quiet ember, knows its you against you, its the paradox that drives us all. its a battle of wills, in the heat of attack, its the passion that kills, and victory is yours alone.


    the posts and opinions stated by me do not in any way reflect the values, beliefs, or views of my department. they are simply opinions and/or observations which have been developed through my personal experiences. hell, most of the stories probably arent even true...wink wink

  6. #6
    spd110's Avatar
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    Poor kid didn't get to finish. Wonder if he had a case of "moo balls" the next morning....

  7. #7
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    CT209 is offline Once..... Forever
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    There's a lesson to be learned that everybody is missing:

    Don't dress your cows up in halter tops and f##k-me pumps (shoes for the uninitiated).

    Never, ever, dress up your prize steer in those garments. Not that there's anything wrong with male-on-male... urrrr...male-on-steer sex.

    Don't dress your wife up in a cow hide and have her stand in the field (wearing a halter top and f##k-me pumps).

    Never let your daughter out of the house dressed in the above clothing. She may be a heifer, but hey... she does have feelings and you may cause her to have a life-long problem. There are easier ways to marry her off.
    "When a crime is committed, liberals blame society. Conservatives blame the criminal." -Debra Saunders

    Old Scottish Motto- "nemo me impune laccessit". It still holds true today.

  8. #8
    Illiy is offline Corporal
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    I kind of get this one. I have been to a few places that the women closely enough resembled cattle that I can see a mistake being made.
    You need to find new places to meet people then...

 

 

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