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  1. #1
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    Vasectomy anyone?

    SPRINGFIELD, Ore. For guys who park in front of the TV during college basketball's March Madness, the Oregon Urology Institute has a suggestion: Why not use that time to recover from a vasectomy?
    "When March Madness approaches you need an excuse ... to stay at home in front of the big screen," the clinic's radio ad says. "Get your vasectomy at Oregon Urology Institute the day before the tournament starts. It's snip city."
    Institute Administrator Terry FitzPatrick said men need two to four days to recover from the procedure but not all take the time.
    He's reserved a dozen appointment slots for March 19, the day before the first tipoffs of the NCAA Tournament, and another dozen for March 26, before the tournament's second week.
    He reported filling 15 slots by Thursday afternoon and expects to fill all 24.
    The sports radio station broadcasting the clinic's ads promises to send each patient a recovery kit of sports magazines, free pizza delivery and a bag of frozen peas.
    Peas?
    "The frozen peas are malleable enough that you can get them right in there and get the swelling down," FitzPatrick said.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  2. #2
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    I'd rather watch the tournament without getting neutered.

    But that's me.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  3. #3
    Cidp24's Avatar
    Cidp24 is offline Tempus Fugit
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    Sharp objects DO NOT belong in that area.
    *************************
    "It wouldn't take much for me to up and run...
    to another life somewhere in the sun."
    *************************
    "There's something inherently wrong with having to put on a bullet-proof vest and a gun to go to work."-(An old friend)


    Any statements or opinions given in my postings or profile do not reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employer or anyone else other than me. They are my personal opinions or statements only, thereby releasing my employer , any other entity, or any other person of any liability or involvement in anything posted under the username "Cidp24" on O/R.

  4. #4
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    no Vasectomies for me.

    I'll just go with the tried and true method of pulling out!
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  5. #5
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
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    interesting advertising! lol
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  6. #6
    MacLean's Avatar
    MacLean is offline O/R Gun mod
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    I don't watch sports, but it's a damn good marketing idea.

    I've been thinking about getting it done.
    I'm your huckleberry...

    Quemadmoeum gladis nemeinum occidit, occidentus telum est!

    You can be the weapon, and the gun in your hand is a tool - or the gun is a weapon and you are the tool.


    I was looking for a saint who was a devil of a lover,
    but every girl I found was either one way or the other...



  7. #7
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Sorry love sports but can't get into college basketball
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


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    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  8. #8
    Pudge's Avatar
    Pudge is online now Site Admin
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    Nah, I'll pass. Wifey blew up the ole runway right after she had the baby.
    "Like" us on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Offic...93147194083228

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    The opinions given in my posts & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Pudge" on Officerresource.com

  9. #9
    armsmaster270's Avatar
    armsmaster270 is offline Ret. Sac. P.D. - 270th M.P. Co., Now with D.H.S.
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    I got cut many years ago and never regretted it.


    Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer. --Al Bundy

    http://www.armsmaster.net-a.googlepages.com

  10. #10
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Quote Originally Posted by armsmaster270 View Post
    I got cut many years ago and never regretted it.
    you sir are a brave man!
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  11. #11
    Ender's Avatar
    Ender is offline Three Sheets...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    Nah, I'll pass. Wifey blew up the ole runway right after she had the baby.


    I'm almost afraid to ask, but please explain that one
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  12. #12
    Ender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by armsmaster270 View Post
    I got cut many years ago and never regretted it.
    I got cut about 28 years or so ago, and appreciate the more aerodynamic ride.

    But I don't think I'd ever get a vasectomy...
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  13. #13
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
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    My cousin had it done, then he and his wife divorced, he got remarried, and he had it undone. The result of his efforts will be a year old in June.




  14. #14
    Pudge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ender View Post


    I'm almost afraid to ask, but please explain that one

    Had the tubes done. lol
    "Like" us on facebook! https://www.facebook.com/pages/Offic...93147194083228

    Follow members of O/R as they tweet a "Ride a long" on their shifts on the front page of the site and on twitter at the following links:

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    The opinions given in my posts & threads DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are my personal opinions only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the username "Pudge" on Officerresource.com

  15. #15
    Ender's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pudge113 View Post
    Had the tubes done. lol
    I was scared it was something else
    --

    Ender

    "And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes, I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..."

  16. #16
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    I was neutered a few years back. (Not that it matters now!)
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  17. #17
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    My husband had it done 3yrs ago. He drove himself there, had it done, then drove home. Sat on bag of peas for 2 days and then back to work. He said it was no biggie. Was the LEAST he could do after I had two back to back c-sections lol
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  18. #18
    K9brando's Avatar
    K9brando is offline Fun In The Snow!
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    done it also about 7 years ago. no regrets here!!!!
    I'm ready for spring!

  19. #19
    PapaBear's Avatar
    PapaBear is offline SgtCHP-Retired
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    Speaking of Vasectomies:

    Redneck Vasectomy
    After their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough little hillbillies, as they could not afford a larger bed. The husband went to his veterinarian (of course) and told him that he and his cousin-wife didn't want to have any more children and asked what could be done.

    The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem, but it was expensive. "A less costly alternative is to go home, get a cherry bomb, (fireworks are legal in Alabama) light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

    The Alabaman said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can and holding it next to my ear and counting to 10 is going to help me."

    "Trust me," said the doctor.

    So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can to his ear and began to count...

    "1"
    "2"
    "3"
    "4"
    "5"

    At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs, and resumed counting on his other hand.
    Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
    [George Washington (1732 - 1799)]


  20. #20
    gopherpuckfan's Avatar
    gopherpuckfan is offline I'm from the government and I'm here to help
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ender View Post


    I'm almost afraid to ask, but please explain that one
    I thought he was going to say the uterus fell out with the after-birth
    The views expressed in the above post are the sole opinion of the author and do not reflect any official position by the author's employer and/or municipality.

 

 
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