Welcome to the APBWeb.
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 39
  1. #1
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,108
    Rep Power
    7439166

    Why not to hire a nude maid while your wife is out of town.

    Nude maid accused of really cleaning up


    TAMPA, Fla. - A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.


    Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.


    When the man's wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.


    Police are investigating.



    Well DUH!



    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080529/..._sZbAoFtrtiBIF
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  2. #2
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    05-25-07
    Location
    SE Indiana, I love this weather!
    Posts
    3,388
    Rep Power
    555156
    Who'd a thunk???

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  3. #3
    op246's Avatar
    op246 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    05-22-08
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    88
    Rep Power
    2084
    That sucks to explain. The whole "I had the house cleaned, so you wouldn't have to" argument goes out the window when the wife finds out who cleaned it.

  4. #4
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    05-25-07
    Location
    SE Indiana, I love this weather!
    Posts
    3,388
    Rep Power
    555156
    yup, would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  5. #5
    op246's Avatar
    op246 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    05-22-08
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    88
    Rep Power
    2084
    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    yup, would love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation
    I would like to be there for the cleaning

  6. #6
    mack's Avatar
    mack is offline Officer Resource Offical Auctioneer
    Premium Lifetime Member
    Join Date
    05-25-07
    Location
    SE Indiana, I love this weather!
    Posts
    3,388
    Rep Power
    555156
    Quote Originally Posted by op246 View Post
    I would like to be there for the cleaning

    lol, I'm not even gonna go there!

    My dad, I miss him every day.

    Originally Posted by Wolven
    Life is too short to wear unsexy underwear.


    I am a female!!!!! LMAO

    Be who you are and say what you feel.....
    Because those that matter...don't mind...
    And those that mind...don't matter

  7. #7
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    12-05-05
    Location
    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
    Posts
    11,108
    Rep Power
    7439166
    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    lol, I'm not even gonna go there!
    Funny, I was thinking he's going to fit in just fine here.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  8. #8
    op246's Avatar
    op246 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    05-22-08
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    88
    Rep Power
    2084
    Quote Originally Posted by mack View Post
    lol, I'm not even gonna go there!
    To each his own man. Don't ask, Don't tell





    Just messing with ya

  9. #9
    Rhino's Avatar
    Rhino is offline Meat-eater & Fire-breather
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    02-08-07
    Location
    Georgia
    Posts
    2,524
    Rep Power
    1750835
    I wonder where the maid concealed the jewelry...
    "If everyone is thinking alike, then someone isn't thinking." -Gen. George S. Patton

  10. #10
    op246's Avatar
    op246 is offline Officer First Class
    Join Date
    05-22-08
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    88
    Rep Power
    2084
    Good catch Rhino. One would wonder......

  11. #11
    ex401mp's Avatar
    ex401mp is offline Was betrachten Sie?
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-04-07
    Location
    Sw Florida
    Posts
    1,824
    Rep Power
    645328
    Quote Originally Posted by Rhino View Post
    I wonder where the maid concealed the jewelry...
    My thoughts exactly.

    I bet he said something to his wife like - But hon, she said she was a pro...
    Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you, Jesus Christ and the American G.I.
    One died for your soul, the other for your freedom. ~ Anon

    si hic carrus commovet non quaerete

    RIP Scott L. Roth- Pfc 1st Platoon,401st MP Co, KIA 12/20/89- Operation Just Cause- Not forgotten.
    ALWAYS FIRST!!!

  12. #12
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-05-06
    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
    5,456
    Rep Power
    1532848
    Quote Originally Posted by Rhino View Post
    I wonder where the maid concealed the jewelry...

    c'mon...you serious? she hid them in the bush outside the house

  13. #13
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Join Date
    08-29-06
    Location
    Near Honey Island Swamp
    Posts
    1,322
    Rep Power
    491109
    I cant imagine him leaving her alone in the bedroom.......Mav woulda had to "supervise" her work in great detail.....I can hear him now..."hun, you missed a spot...there...on the floor...Oh, ..you may have to bend over more to reach it"

  14. #14
    cajunguy's Avatar
    cajunguy is online now I LOVE my ParaOrd .45ACP!
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    12-03-05
    Location
    South La.
    Posts
    1,938
    Rep Power
    2627362
    Quote Originally Posted by op246 View Post
    I would like to be there for the cleaning
    . . . even if she looked like this?









































    .
    The Swamp Mafia -
    "Heaven doesn't want us,
    and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!"
    .

  15. #15
    mavriktu's Avatar
    mavriktu is offline Patrol Sgt.
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    05-21-06
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    2,847
    Rep Power
    5559847
    Quote Originally Posted by dapples View Post
    I cant imagine him leaving her alone in the bedroom.......Mav woulda had to "supervise" her work in great detail.....I can hear him now..."hun, you missed a spot...there...on the floor...Oh, ..you may have to bend over more to reach it"
    She knows me to well I fear.

  16. #16
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610543
    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    c'mon...you serious? she hid them in the bush outside the house
    more like the bush inside the house
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  17. #17
    Buttercup's Avatar
    Buttercup is offline Thrives in sunshine
    Supporting Member Lvl 1
    Join Date
    04-29-06
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    18,093
    Rep Power
    4329092
    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    Funny, I was thinking he's going to fit in just fine here.

    Yes. Yes he is.




  18. #18
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-05-06
    Location
    Once a New Yawker, Always a New Yawker
    Posts
    5,456
    Rep Power
    1532848
    Quote Originally Posted by gozling View Post
    more like the bush inside the house
    who keeps a bush inside the house
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  19. #19
    gozling's Avatar
    gozling is offline the gene pool could use a little chlorine
    Join Date
    06-28-06
    Location
    O'ahu Hawaii
    Posts
    4,278
    Rep Power
    610543
    Quote Originally Posted by Resident Smart Ass View Post
    who keeps a bush inside the house
    most women.. but some are trimmed more than others
    it's a girl thing
    http://www.allpoetry.com/Grunts%20Girl

    We dallied under
    Vine maples and sapling alders
    Searched for lady slippers
    But instead
    Found blackberry riots and
    Desiccated branches

    An old skid road
    Brought ghost ferns and
    Hollows filled with
    Skunk cabbage
    While waves wrapped
    Intricate lacings of weeds
    'Round mule spinners

    His cyanotic eyes
    Were hard enough to make
    The sun turn tail and
    Tender enough to attract me
    To his world of illusion

  20. #20
    narcodog is offline Rookie
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
    Verified LEO
    Join Date
    06-13-06
    Location
    north ga.
    Posts
    929
    Rep Power
    162812
    There's nothing like a well manicured bush. So much easier to inspect the crime scene.
    "A Knights Oath
    A Knight is sworn to valor; His Heart only knows virtue; His Blade defends the helpless; His Might upholds the weak; His Words speak only the truth; His Wrath undoes the wicked"

    Aspire to Inspire

 

 
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •