Florida Woman Says Former Church Plans to Make Her Sins Public

**Pudge** · 12-19-08, 11:53 AM

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,469928,00.html

A 49-year-old Florida woman says her former church is threatening to reveal her sins to its congregation after learning that she is in a "sexually immoral relationship."
Rebecca Hancock told FOXNews.com that Grace Community Church, a non-denominational church in Jacksonville, Fla., was against her relationship with boyfriend Frank Young because the two were sexually active but not married.
When she wasn’t willing to obey the church's orders to leave him, she decided to leave the church instead, allowing her two children to remain active members.
Now, she says, church elders have given her the worst ultimatum yet: In a Dec. 8 letter, they told her she either has to meet with them and end her "immoral" relationship or she will face public humiliation.
“Bottom line, on January they 4th they are going to the church publicly with my sins, and my children will be sitting in church at the time,” Hancock told FOXNews.com.

A church leader wouldn't commit to an interview when contacted Thursday by FOXNews.com. The Rev. T. Scott Christmas, pastor of the church, told the Florida Times-Union that the "process of loving accountability" is made very clear to members, and the church is doing "nothing more than following the practices of what biblical churches have done through history."

Hancock, who is divorced, said the problems began in March, when she started telling her church mentor about her relationship — in what she thought were confidential conversations.
“As it progressed I told her about it and she said, 'You’ve got to get out, you’re biblically wrong,'” Hancock said.
Despite knowing her relationship was against church rules, Hancock said she never realized that disclosing it would trigger the first in a three-step process used by the church to deal with sinners: private admonishment, admonishment in the presence of witnesses and finally public admonishment.
Still, she said she tried to follow her mentor’s advice and break up with Young, who wasn't a member of the church.
“I must have gone through 10 breakups trying to end it, but after not having the power to do it I would go back,” she said. “It was hard to give up somebody I love.”
Hancock learned that her private sessions with her mentor hadn’t been so private after all, when in October her mentor pulled her aside in church and asked her come into another room.
“In the room, there were several women that I never told my business to. And they proceeded to tell me about my business and what I was doing and what a sinner I was — just persecuting me.” Hancock said. “One of the ladies was even saying ‘I was at your house when you didn’t come home all night.’"
It was then that Hancock said she decided to leave Grace Community Church.
“I told them, ‘I cannot believe you people are doing this. I’m not going any further — I’m never coming here again,’” she recalled.
Her boyfriend said the church wouldn’t let it end there.
“The pastor kept calling her, and I informed him that she [Hancock] would appreciate it if neither he nor any member of his church contacted her ever again,” Young told FOXNews.com.
Almost two months later, Hancock received the letter from the elders of Grace Community Church, explaining that she had left them no choice but to continue the disciplinary process.
“Your refusal to repent and be restored in your relationship with God and His Church leaves us with no alternative than to carry out the third step of the discipline process,” the letter explained. “In accordance with Matthew 18:17, we intend to ‘tell it to the church.’”
Darrell L. Bock, a research professor for the Dallas Theological Seminary, said that public admonishment is not uncommon in churches that focus on discipline but added, "Most churches would handle this much more privately than this particular community is choosing to do."
This kind of process normally would happen after "much more private interaction" with the person, Block said, and is normally reserved for church leaders as opposed to "a normal member of the church."
More importantly, he said, the actions are unusual given that Hancock had severed her relationship with the church.
Hancock sent a formal letter of resignation after receiving the elders' ultimatum in hopes of solving the dispute. She said she fears for her 20-year-old son and 18-year-old daughter if the church carries out its threat.
“I don’t really care what they do to me. But I am concerned about my children sitting in church with their mother being crucified by the church that they trust,” she said. “I am very concerned about how it would affect them.”

**Twan007** · 12-19-08, 12:11 PM

that is ridiculous...

**MacLean** · 12-19-08, 12:31 PM

The part that is ridiculous is that her children will be sitting in the church at the time.

Uh, they're your kids. Remove them.

**irishmick** · 12-19-08, 12:35 PM

Her children are old enough to realize that a relationship while not being married is a sin according to the Bible. If she doesn't want them to hear it, she can ask them not to go. On the other hand, I think the elders of the church are completely insane and should probably step back a moment and remember some of the OTHER teachings of the Bible...like you should not judge and let he without sin cast the first stone.

**mtaylor** · 12-19-08, 12:53 PM

The church elders need to get a life. Like irishmick said "let he without sin cast the first stone"

**countybear** · 12-19-08, 12:55 PM

Well, now that this is a news story, what is 'telling it to the church' going to accomplish?

**adroitcuffs** · 12-19-08, 01:41 PM

I agree that some of the actions of the church members (staking out her house!?!) are extreme, especially actions after she's allegedly severed her membership. On the other hand, like irishmick said, Hancock's so-called concern for her children is ridiculous. Hancock claims, “I must have gone through 10 breakups trying to end it, but after not having the power to do it I would go back,” she said. “It was hard to give up somebody I love.” If you two are so wonderful together, and you want to be right with God, why are you not getting married? It's a prime example of convenient religion. People like Hancock want to attend church, yet not be held accountable. Yes, none of us is without sin, but you can't flaunt immoral behavior and expect no one to take notice, especially within the membership of a church.

She "fears" for her children, yet they are old enough to stay or go as they please. I find it rather ironic that she is more concerned that the church members are going to speak of her sins in the presence of her children, and less concerned with leading her children by example. Her children know she is living in sin. Correct the problem, or stop complaining when it is pointed out.

(Interestingly enough, the pdf file of the letter from the church is titled "Church Extortion"!! Me thinks someone needs to learn the definition of extortion, lol! http://www.foxnews.com/projects/pdf/..._Extortion.pdf )

**IndianaFuzz** · 12-19-08, 02:30 PM

Well and if she brings the issue in the public by talking to fox news about it, then hasn't she just told far more people about her sins than the church ever intended to?????

**MacLean** · 12-19-08, 02:37 PM

Their letter references Ephesians - I know how some interpret Ephesians, but I have always wondered if they were right.

**Jenna** · 12-19-08, 02:47 PM

Lots of silliness all around. First by telling the media this woman has shown that she doesn't really care if a lot of people know about what she did. And her children should be mature enough to come to their own decisions about whether to leave the church, stay and defend their mother, or side with the church against their mother. But the church leaders also sound like stalkers, staking out her house and trying to embarrass her even after she left them. Surely they have better things to spend their time on.

**countybear** · 12-19-08, 03:59 PM

She said she fears for her 20-year-old son and 18-year-old daughter if the church carries out its threat.

Dear kids... your mom is a harlot. Now its national news. That is all.

**Morris** · 12-20-08, 06:14 AM

Events like this make me glad I'm the token Druid.

**mack** · 12-20-08, 06:54 AM

The whole thing is stupid. This is 2008 (almost 2009, lol). I think there are alot more things to worry about in this world than an adult man and woman living together out of marriage. Would it have been better is they lived separately and still slept together?

**Wolven** · 12-20-08, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by Morris

Events like this make me glad I'm the token Druid.

Amen to that!

~from one of the token pagans

**Pudge** · 12-20-08, 08:35 AM

**Terminator** · 12-20-08, 12:06 PM

Oh no, a man and woman living together, unmarried in sin. This is the kind of stupidity that gives religion a bad name. I'm sorry, but the bible could not possibly be a strict interpretation of reality. I would never belong to a church like that, and this lady sounds like a moron.