CHICAGO - Drew Peterson cracked jokes live from jail on Wednesday on a Chicago radio show that he called collect.

The former Bolingbrook police officer, charged in his third wife's death, offered snippets of a comedy routine on WLS Radio's Mancow & Cassidy show.

"$20 million bond. Legal fees: tens of thousands. Being falsely accused of a homicide that didn't happen: priceless," Peterson said in a spoof of a MasterCard commercial.

Peterson once proposed a "Win a Date With Drew" contest and offered a jail version called "Win a Conjugal Visit with Drew." He also joked about prison showers, his legal fees and his "bling" handcuffs, saying humor is how he deals with stress.

During the nearly 7-minute phone call, Peterson tried out a few crude one-liners.

"I didn't understand why they had seat belts on the toilet until after I had a couple of meals here," he said while the hosts played a drum sound effect.

He also said he misses his children and has prayed and read the Bible during his imprisonment.

Peterson is charged with first-degree murder in the 2004 death of his third wife, Kathleen Savio. He is also a suspect in the 2007 disappearance of his fourth wife, Stacy Peterson.

He denies wrongdoing.