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Thread: A MAN has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a TREE.
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01-21-10, 12:32 AM #1
Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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A MAN has been banned from a public park - after he allegedly tried to have sex with a TREE.
William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie after claims he attempted to bonk the plant.
It is alleged he dropped his trousers and underpants and exposed himself while in the visitor attraction in September last year.
It is claimed he then tried to have simulated sex with the tree while his trousers were around his ankles. Shaw, of Airdrie, yesterday pleaded not guilty to an act of public indecency at the town's sheriff court.
Sheriff Frank Pieri released Shaw on bail - on the condition that he stays away from Central Park. Last night Shaw was unavailable to discuss the allegations at his flat.
A neighbour said: "I have seen him about and he seems a quiet lad."
(it's always the quite ones)
William Shaw rapped for alleged try for a tree bonk | The Sun |Home Scotland|Scottish NewsDo not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
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01-21-10, 12:58 AM #2
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Tree Hugger
Going back to night shift sucks!
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01-21-10, 08:18 AM #3
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Maybe he just wanted a partner as quiet as he was.....
Originally Posted by lewisipso
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01-21-10, 04:08 PM #4
Neither here nor there
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Wrong woody.
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01-21-10, 04:26 PM #5
Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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A regular Woody the Wood Pecker that one is.
SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM-Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"
"It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
-General Omar Bradley, United States Army
Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens
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01-21-10, 04:29 PM #6
Reed and Malloy were my FTOs
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He really was laying the lumber.
SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM-Ex-Sheriff Martin Howe to Will Kane in "High Noon"
"It's a great life. You risk your skin catching killers and the juries turn them loose so they can come back and shoot at you again. If your honest , your poor your whole life. And , In the end , you wind up dying all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothing. For a tin star."
Far from being a handicap to command, compassion is the measure of it. For unless one values the lives of his soldiers and is tormented by their ordeals , he is unfit to command.
-General Omar Bradley, United States Army
Renniger-Richards-Griswold-Owens
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01-21-10, 06:39 PM #7
Tempus Fugit
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01-21-10, 07:37 PM #8
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Maybe it moved more than his wife?
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01-22-10, 03:15 AM #9
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Well at least he was participating in "natural" copulation.......
CHIRP! CHIRP!
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01-22-10, 07:10 AM #10
Waldo Pepper
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Nature Lover
/self boo
Originally Posted by Herzen
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01-22-10, 08:27 AM #11
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Dumbass had been told that he needed some bush & got confused.
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01-22-10, 12:14 PM #12
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Going Green!
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01-22-10, 11:29 PM #13
Used up and retired
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Bwaahahahahaha!!! Originally Posted by Reca
Job security...
Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.
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01-24-10, 07:49 AM #14
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Was he going or coming? Originally Posted by Reca
CHIRP! CHIRP!
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01-24-10, 12:47 PM #15
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Strange things they do over across the pond, eh?
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01-25-10, 12:13 AM #16
keepin it gangsta'
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i was banging a tree a while back...the sex was terrible. it refused to do it with the lights on, and wouldnt let me put it in its keebler elf hole, so i stopped seeing it.
in the warriors code there's no surrender, though his body says stop, his spirit cries...NEVER. deep in our souls, a quiet ember, knows its you against you, its the paradox that drives us all. its a battle of wills, in the heat of attack, its the passion that kills, and victory is yours alone.
the posts and opinions stated by me do not in any way reflect the values, beliefs, or views of my department. they are simply opinions and/or observations which have been developed through my personal experiences. hell, most of the stories probably arent even true...wink wink
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