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06-30-11, 05:32 PM #1
There is no hunting, like the hunting of man...wait, what?This here's the tale of a fella who calls himself "Mork Encino." Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin' and survivin'. He launched a website about it on June 20. It's called "Hunt Me 4 Sport." As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses. Hiding behind a trees or brush. Showing off his new red "ear wear." Sitting in a "strategic fetal position."
Then, there's the offer:
I seek hearty gents who fancy themselves sportsmen and bored of the usual game. I am a new breed of prey with thick pelt and smooth hide. I'm faster than a wild turkey, smart as any GODDAMN wild boar and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the monetary health of my family.Yes, if Mork is to be believed, he has offered himself up as hunting prey for a mere $10K (fine, $12K, because anybody in their right mind would throw an extra $2K up for naked game). Yet, between the goofy looking pictures and the absurdity of not placing a larger price on one's own head, Mork is not to be easily believed. I asked him to make his case last week.
If I am trapped and killed you stand to earn the RESPECT of your fellow hunters, a PRIZE HUMAN MOUNT for your wall and ALL INCOME from any organ harvest. For this I ask the reasonable sum of $10,000 US DOLLARS per hunter/per round.
I will be armed only with my wits and the clothes on my back (naked is + $2,000 US/per hunter/per round). A round is a days (24 hrs) hunt. I will not attempt self-defense. I will only seek to evade capture. In the event of my demise ALL payment will default to my family.
The interaction was solely over email since a phoner would be a location giveaway and "I don't want some crazy asshole showing up and blowing me away for free or bothering my parents or bringing over a Bible or anything like that. Someone told my mom about all this and now she is scared straight shitless so I gotta be careful."
He's 28. Puts his location as "East Coast USA" (the brush looks somewhat Carolinian). Says he's doing it because he needs cash badly. "I live with my parents but they are always threatening to toss me out on my ass especially after a bender or any gambling so I am SINCERELY trying to cut way down on all that," he writes, noting that a) he doesn't want to take his mom up on her join-the-army/enroll-in-massage-school suggestion and b) he doesn't "have a wife or anything" and realizes/blames that on the fact that "Woman like money!"
I have never been any good with money but that's ok cause I never had any. I did some landscaping and I worked fast food and got lit in the walk in freezer and all that. I did some farm work. I cleaned out storage units. For a while I was on a demo crew but then everyone stopped work on their houses. So I've basically been a full time loser for over a year now.Mork says he's gotten 10 or so responses; one guy wanted to write up a contract to "keep it all legal ... another made a joke about my appearance ... but no one has come out and said, 'Let's do this' or 'How can I help you young man?'" This included the respondent who wrote, "I have a 50 cal, ak 47 and about 12 pounds of dynamite." To ensure potential hunters don't get discouraged by what would appear to be his home-range advantage, he also included photos of amenities: "Location is secure & ATV friendly. Smokehouse and grill ON SITE."
So, this is legitimately life-or-death and not just some paintball shit, right?
I'm pretty sure no one would pay anything CLOSE to 10K to chase me around with anything less. That's a steep goddamn price for that type of soft action. I wouldn't expect any offers for that bullshit.If you were loaded, would you pay $10,000 to hunt some broke dude?
Would I rather be hunted with paintballs or rubber bullets or something like that? SURE. Laser tag all the way. But I doubt we'd be talking if that's what I put out there.
I don't have any control over who answers. It could be some Green Beret motherfucker with a necklace made out of ears or it could be some fat idiot. Bet your ass I'd rather face off against the fat idiot. Seems like there are alot of fat idiots out there that do ok these days bless their hearts.
No I would not, but that's not a position I expect I'll ever see. I'm not one of these poor assholes who admires rich dickheads and thinks everything is going to work out all dandy in the end. This country is run by criminals. Good for them. But you gotta give people what they want and if they pay up you have to deliver the goods. If somebody wants to give me money to do something else, by all means buddy I would love to hear from you but so far that just has not been the case.
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06-30-11, 05:51 PM #2
Ok, Really?Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me
We are who we choose to be.
R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012
06-30-11, 06:34 PM #3
Stupid is as stupid does.
I dont think its a lack of money as the reason why he doesnt have a wife yet, just guessing."An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
Some people are meant to be the police......Some people are meant to call the police!!!
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" I believe that forgiving them (Terrorist) is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting."
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06-30-11, 06:39 PM #4
I'd like to see a defense lawyer tell everyone "but they had a contract".'Political Correctness is a doctrine fostered by a
delusional, illogical liberal minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!'
“A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity.” Sigmund Freud
06-30-11, 06:43 PM #5
It sounds like a hoax to me. Unless the emails have been heavily edited, this guy is well-spoken and has a firm grasp of spelling. I'm not saying that it COULDN'T be real, but I'm leaning toward social statement.
06-30-11, 07:01 PM #6
He'd probably ruin his skivvies if some bored multi-billionare showed up with a handful of cash, an arsenal, a sh*t-eatin' grin and blood in his eye.
.The Swamp Mafia -"Heaven doesn't want us,and Hell's afraid we'll take over!!".
07-01-11, 12:00 AM #7
well if he is in North Carolina, having a contract just might get someone out of murder, heck they can't convict people of DWI how can the harder cases be any diffrent...lol
07-01-11, 02:19 AM #8
honestly - this one missing from the gene pool MIGHT not be that bad of an idea (good thing he hasn't bred yet) but I would not want to be the one trying to defend the client =/-=Twan007
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in alignment with his employer. Matter of fact, the poster will deny any knowledge of any post... this message will self-destruct in 5 seconds...
07-01-11, 09:29 PM #9
So if you agreed to pay up and hunt the guy, could you and he be guilty of conspiracy to commit murder because he's trying to hire a hit man?
07-01-11, 09:41 PM #10
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