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  1. #1
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Slutty schoolgirls and self-circumcisions: All in a day's work for a Urologist

    They may only be taking the piss, but urologists are complaining about being plagued by an increasing number of embarrassing incidents related to, well, the parts of the body they normally have to deal with, according to Weekly Playboy (9/18).

    Take the schoolgirl who's become a regular at one urologist's for treatment of her boyfriends' chlamydia, a sexually transmitted disease.

    "Every time she comes in, she's with a different guy. She tells me that her boyfriend complains that it hurts when he pees and asks me to fix him up," the urologist tells Weekly Playboy, who adds that it's the girl herself who is responsible for transmitting the ailment to her plentiful partners. "She's basically become like a test tube for cultivating the disease. Whenever her boyfriend of the time starts complaining that it hurts when he tries to urinate, she tells him that she knows a good doctor and brings him to me."

    It's not just schoolgirls who are creating problems for urologists. One young man created havoc when he sought help for a case of genital herpes. A young, female nurse was entrusted with the job of applying ointment to his affected part, but was soon rushing to the urologist for assistance.

    "I was baffled," the urologist says. "She was screaming out, 'Doctor, the patient's member has turned black and it's standing up like a rocket.' I went in to have a look and quickly realized the 'problem' was nothing more than the patient enjoying the treatment he was receiving a bit too much."

    The urologist says he sought to reassure his nurse and told her: "That's only an erection."

    "She told me, 'I know that. It's just I've never seen one that big before,'" the urologist says. "My face turned bright red."

    Also causing a kerfuffle is the increasing number of patients seeking prostate massages. Go to a urologist and the massage is covered by health insurance, reducing its cost to a few hundred yen; a mere fraction of what they would have to pay for the same treatment if sought through a professional sex service, where prostate massages are currently popular options on many courses.

    One urologist says that he thought many of the young men were visiting his clinic to have a young nurse to administer their prostate massages for thrills, but he was shocked to learn that most of them were actually hoping he'd be the one putting the rubber gloves on.

    "It's because there are so few professional sex services for homosexual men. And it's only really urologists and those treating venereal diseases who offer treatment on the sphincter," the urologist tells Weekly Playboy. "Some patients develop a real liking for prostate massages, but I put on the gloves and make sure I let them have it so rough they won't ever want to come back for more. But even after I've really given it to them, they still keep coming back for more."

    Also in that neck of the woods was one man who complained of, well, a pain in the ass that resulted from that patient's chosen form of self-pleasure.

    "I was shocked when I had a look through the rectal camera," a urologist says. "There were traces of wax all through his bowels, and then I found a candle wick."

    At the other end of town, so to speak, are those into do-it-yourself circumcision, a procedure that initially seems attractive compared to the option of forking out the considerable sums cosmetic surgeons charge to do it, but often not working out as planned, as one high school boy discovered to his chagrin.

    "I realize high school boys don't have much cash on them, but going that far to save a bit of money is overdoing it. This quiet, serious kid walked into my clinic with the lower half of his body drenched in blood. Naturally, he'd turned pale," a urologist tells Weekly Playboy, adding that the lad had tried to lop off the extra bit on the top by stretching it out and hacking into it with a knife of the type usually used in handicrafts. "I told him that he had to go to a hospital to undergo the sort of procedure he'd been seeking. Apparently, blood had spurted out everywhere. It wouldn't have been so bad if this kid was the only one I had to treat after such an incident. But he was just one of several who'd done pretty much exactly the same thing."

  2. #2
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Oh.....my....god......
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  3. #3
    Norm357's Avatar
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    "I was baffled," the urologist says. "She was screaming out, 'Doctor, the patient's member has turned black and it's standing up like a rocket.' I went in to have a look and quickly realized the 'problem' was nothing more than the patient enjoying the treatment he was receiving a bit too much."

    The urologist says he sought to reassure his nurse and told her: "That's only an erection."

    "She told me, 'I know that. It's just I've never seen one that big before,'" the urologist says. "My face turned bright red."

    ROFLMAO

  4. #4
    dlefdal's Avatar
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    So Brad, how did those prostate massages turn out?

    When you find yourself in a hole............QUIT DIGGING!!!!!!!!!

    OK guys time to come clean. I am not only a police officer but I am also a big time movie star. I am using my real photo as my avatar now. Please NO autographs!!!!

    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such

  5. #5
    Terminator's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dlefdal View Post
    So Brad, how did those prostate massages turn out?


    Excellent thank you! Well worth the price.

  6. #6
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terminator View Post
    "She was screaming out, 'Doctor, the patient's member has turned black and it's standing up like a rocket.'... the patient enjoying the treatment he was receiving a bit too much."
    What do I need to do to get this treatment? If insurance will pay for it, put me on a daily schedule - I believe in taking aggressive measures

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  7. #7
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    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

 

 

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