"Women should be obscene and not heard."

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

"A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke."

"Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of a woman. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses."

"Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing."

"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man."

"When women go wrong, men go right after them."

"An archaeologist is best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her."