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11-16-06, 10:37 AM #1
COMMAND REDUCTION OF ARMY PERSONNEL ( C.R.A.P. )
As a result of DOD budget cutbacks, we are forced to reduce the size of the force. Under C.R.A.P., older soldiers will go on early retirement, thus permitting the retention of lower paid soldiers who represent the Army's future.
A program to phase out older soldiers via retirement by the end of the current fiscal year will be placed in effect. the program will be known as Retire Active Personnel Early (R.A.P.E.).
Employees who are R.A.P.E.d will be given the opportunity to seek civilian employment within the Department of the Army. To that end, R.A.P.E.d soldiers will be required to fill out numerous DA Forms (currently in the development, test, and evaluation stage) detailing their education and experience. This phase does not guarantee retired soldiers a civil service position; it does, however, guarantee that the soldier's unique capabilities will be considered
before being bypassed in the hiring process. This phase of C.R.A.P. is known asSurvey of Capabilities of Retired Warriors (S.C.R.E.W.).
Soldiers who have been R.A.P.E.d and S.C.R.E.W.ed may request review of their situation by higher authority. This is the Study by Higher Authority Following Termination (S.H.A.F.T.) phase.
CRAP policy dictates that a soldier may be R.A.P.E.d once, S.C.R.E.W.ed twice, but may be SHAFTed as many times as the Army leadership deems appropriate.
If a soldier follows the above procedures, he or she will be entitled to get Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance (H.E.R.P.E.S.). As H.E.R.P.E.S. is considered a benefit payment, any soldier who gets H.E.R.P.E.S. will no longer be R.A.P.E.d or S.C.R.E.W.ed by the Army.
The Army leadership wishes to assure younger soldiers who remain on active duty that the Army will continue its policy of ensuring that soldiers are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.) program. The Army takes pride in the amount of S.H.I.T. our soldiers receive and can boast that it gives its soldiers more S.H.I.T. than any other service.
If a soldier feels he or she does not get enough S.H.I.T., see your commander. Your commander is especially trained to make sure you receive all the S.H.I.T. you can stand.
11-16-06, 10:51 AM #2
That pretty much sums it up. But I didnt know I could get the SHAFT as many times as requested. Ill have to see if I can find the correct form and request one more for old times sake."An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper
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11-16-06, 11:44 AM #3
Most of that is really true.Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
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