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Thread: Blue Necks

  1. #1
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    BEK
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    Blue Necks

    Blue Necks are northern Honkies -- the opposite of Rednecks. Since there are Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves):

    YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...

    ....Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

    ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

    ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

    ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road eg., boiled peanuts).

    ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

    ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

    ...You don't know what a moon pie is.

    ...You've never had an RC Cola.

    ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

    ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

    ...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

    ...You have no idea what a polecat is.

    ...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

    ...You don't have bangs.

    ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

    ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."

    ...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

    ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

    ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

    ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

    ...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on- ramp to the highway.

    ...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

    ...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

    ...You call binoculars opera glasses.

    ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

    ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).

    ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).

    ...You don't have Maw-maw's &Paw-paw's.

    ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.


  2. #2
    10-42Adam's Avatar
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    YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...

    ....Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
    Yes, that one is true.

    ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
    Pretty much.

    ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
    Not at all, and I hate spicy food.

    ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road eg., boiled peanuts).
    Soooooooooo true.

    ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    False.

    ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
    I don't eat potatoes for breakfast

    ...You don't know what a moon pie is.
    You're right.

    ...You've never had an RC Cola.
    Right again.

    ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
    True again!

    ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
    No way! All hands!

    ...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
    Nahhhhhh I see them from time to time, depends on where I drive.

    ...You have no idea what a polecat is.
    Ummmm...maybe?

    ...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
    I don't do it, but my sister does to her dog!

    ...You don't have bangs.
    I have a military style hair cut, so true.

    ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
    Hell yeah.

    ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
    I hate it when people call soda "pop"

    ...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
    I enjoy BLT's, but no just T's!

    ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
    True.

    ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
    Haha true I guess...

    ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
    False, WD-40 is the shit!

    ...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on- ramp to the highway.
    We have a lot of shitty drivers around here!

    ...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
    True

    ...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
    False, we have none. We borrow Pennsylvania's teams for our favorites!

    ...You call binoculars opera glasses.
    Hell no I don't!

    ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
    False

    ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
    So very true

    ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).
    Nah I know some...

    ...You don't have Maw-maw's &Paw-paw's.
    True. WaWa rules here.

    ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
    Don't have a subway here, but if we did I wouldn't mind talking to people.
    Calm Like A Bomb...

    A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.
    -Winston Churchill

  3. #3
    OffDuty's Avatar
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    so you just take a Foxworthy redneck skit and change "If you ever" to "If youve never"? Yeah then thats me!
    There are only two kinds of real justice left: street and poetic...


    Canada, huh? Almost made it...

    *DISCLAIMER*The opinions expressed here are my own delusions. My employer administraton would at best shake their heads and sigh; or at worst severely repudiate the content of these posts, should it ever manage to appear on their radar.

  4. #4
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    ....Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
    I use both
    ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
    It's a sandwich and a verb
    ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
    Not at all! I like spicy foods
    ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road eg., boiled peanuts).
    That one is true
    ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    No problems for me...
    ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
    I don't like potatoes for breakfast
    ...You don't know what a moon pie is.
    They sell them in SA stores...or at least used to...if i'm thinking the right thing....
    ...You've never had an RC Cola.
    False, RC (Royal Crown) is actually pretty good
    ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
    False, fried okra is good
    ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
    False again, unless I'm taking the leftovers off the bone for a sandwich, never
    ...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
    False, a majority of my friends in high school were farm kids. I've even had the opportunity to see hens and roosters mate (traumatizing, don't ever watch )
    ...You have no idea what a polecat is.
    False, haven't you ever seen Seven Brides for Seven Brothers? That's where I first heard of them... haha. They are kind of a mix of a weasel and a ferret almost
    ...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
    False, I find it wrong....
    ...You don't have bangs.
    Nope, but I used to way back when
    ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
    I'll take neither on this one preferably
    ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
    I'm in MN and here it's POP
    ...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
    I love tomato sandwiches, in fact i had one for supper last night
    ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
    that one is true
    ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
    I suppose this one is true too but the coach could get a little bonus
    ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
    true right now, nothing to really use it on right now. We'll probably end up getting one
    ...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on- ramp to the highway.
    False, it was when my friend and work was sneaking up behind people and scaring them shittless...that was funny...
    ...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
    No feed stores, but i do have an interesting one
    ...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
    Well, i guess sports means all of them, and that would be true...
    ...You call binoculars opera glasses.
    false, they are binoculars
    ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
    well only true because my driver's side window is stuck and won't move, if it worked i wouldn't need to
    ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
    hmm, i do know a couple...
    ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).
    I used to know a Bobbie
    ...You don't have Maw-maw's &Paw-paw's.
    nah
    ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
    since i've only ridden a subway a few times in my life i might be if it did happen...
    Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
    ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

  5. #5
    General Patten's Avatar
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    um... what the heck is a tomato sandwich?
    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by General Patten View Post
    um... what the heck is a tomato sandwich?
    Offhand, I'd say tomato (sliced) between two pieces of bread with mayo and salt. I generally toast my bread and use some basil, too.


    Do I win my Smartass of the Moment medal?
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    eh, Id prefer a BLT...
    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

  8. #8
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Last edited by conalabu; 11-30-06 at 01:59 PM.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  9. #9
    carolina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by conalabu View Post
    You guys laugh, but I live that shit everyday. I am going to be adjusting to the trauma for years. Now I am having a kid and my kid is going to be speaking with a drawl when he/she goes up to see my family in NY.
    Funny, I was thinking the same thing ... I can't imagine someone that has not eaten a tomato sandwich, lol ... they are great when you pick the tomato's fresh from the garden.

    Cheerwine and Sundrop rocks too! Dukes Mayo ...

    Moonpies are awesome especially when you put them in the microwave for about 20 seconds ...

    I have to admit that barbecue basically means to cook outside for me ... as in BBQ a pig for a pig pickin / or cook on the grill ...

    Funny stuff!!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  10. #10
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    OK my neck is blue. I admit it.
    Congrats Conalabu....daddy to be.

  11. #11
    ghost98 is offline BEEN THERE BUT NOT EVERYWHERE
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    blue neck here too!!!

  12. #12
    Norm357's Avatar
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    Mater sammiches rock! White bread, mayo, lots of black pepper, and a tomato fresh from the garden. It's a little slice of heaven.
    dlefdal said:
    Ummmm, what if I don't like thumbs in my butt?

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    carolina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norm357 View Post
    Mater sammiches rock! White bread, mayo, lots of black pepper, and a tomato fresh from the garden. It's a little slice of heaven.
    That's perfect!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

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    Talking Maw-maw

    [QUOTE=Jewell;123145]YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...


    ...You don't have Maw-maw's &Paw-paw's.
    True. WaWa rules here.[QUOTE]

    Hay yall - Maw-maw is granny and Paw-paw is gramps. Isn't a Wawa a damn Yankee yuppie store?

  15. #15
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    tomato sandwich???? doesn't anyone eat deep dish pizza any more
    " The hardest thing about disarming an armed suspect is not slipping on your own shit "

    Michael P. Gordon E.O.W 08 Aug 2004




    The opinions given in my posts DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, and/or procedures of my employing agency. They are MY PERSONAL OPINIONS and I accept sole responsibility as such.

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    Quote Originally Posted by carolina View Post
    I can't imagine someone that has not eaten a tomato sandwich, lol ... they are great when you pick the tomato's fresh from the garden.
    Tomatos grow in a garden? I thought they came in plastic packages.
    September 11, 2001 - All gave some, some gave all. Never forget -- Never forgive.......... RIP Brothers and Sisters.

  17. #17
    carolina's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by So Fla Cop View Post
    Tomatos grow in a garden? I thought they came in plastic packages.
    hmmm .... darlin, you need a little more southern diversity ... you're missing out on the simple treasures of life!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ducky View Post
    Offhand, I'd say tomato (sliced) between two pieces of bread with mayo and salt. I generally toast my bread and use some basil, too.


    Do I win my Smartass of the Moment medal?
    YES!


    We are the thin blue line
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    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  19. #19
    BEB
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    Hilarious - thought I'd respond and give you guys a more of an idea who I am.

    YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF...

    ....Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.
    Y'all. I've been guilty of using a few all y'alls as well.

    ...You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."
    Could go either way on this one.

    ...You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.
    Jalapenos are good, beyond that is too spicy for me.

    ...You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road eg., boiled peanuts).
    I'd stop, sound good. Mostly just lemonaid stands here though.

    ...You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.
    Haven't figured out what that stuff is for yet.

    ...For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.
    Potatoes are easier to eat while driving.....in theory I mean

    ...You don't know what a moon pie is.
    Get one every couple years.

    ...You've never had an RC Cola.
    Had many, prefer Coke.

    ...You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.
    Just fried. Picked sounds good.

    ...You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.
    People do this??

    ...You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.
    Gathered eggs and raised cows.

    ...You have no idea what a polecat is.
    Seen (and smelled) quite a few lately

    ...You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.
    Just say no to pet fashion.

    ...You don't have bangs.
    Usually do

    ...You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.
    Do I get a bass boat out of the deal? Then TV show

    ...You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes."
    Pop

    ...You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.
    Anything better in the summer? Other than a cold beer after mowing the yard.

    ...You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.
    Don't take scheduled vacations.

    ...You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.
    Doesn't matter, UNL football program is self funding - go Huskers!

    ...You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.
    I have one next to the computer.

    ...The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on- ramp to the highway.
    Nope.

    ...You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.
    I have a Co-Op hat somewhere

    ...You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.
    None! Go Huskers!

    ...You call binoculars opera glasses.
    LOL, ok, next question.

    ...You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.
    I go for distance with sunflower seeds.

    ...You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Joe Dan, Mary Alice).
    Can't think of any.

    ...You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie).
    Can't think of any.

    ...You don't have Maw-maw's &Paw-paw's.
    A what?

    ...You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.
    Underground transportation is for prairie dogs.

  20. #20
    cntryboy0531 is offline THE five-oh
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    Quote Originally Posted by Norm357 View Post
    Mater sammiches rock! White bread, mayo, lots of black pepper, and a tomato fresh from the garden. It's a little slice of heaven.


    Norm.. I never thought I'd say this... But, I love you.

 

 
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