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  1. #1
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    Form US-0982-3322-J-66A

    Form US-0982-3322-J-66A
    United States Department of Health and Human Services
    Sexual Competency Test
    Intended for rednecks in rural, backwood areas or mountain dwellers

    Score 2 points for each correct answer.
    Score 1 point for each partially correct answer
    Score 0 points for each incorrect answer
    You may check both TRUE and FALSE if you
    believe both answers are correct.

    You may check neither box if you believe
    neither answer is correct.

    TRUE FALSE 1. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
    TRUE FALSE 2. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
    TRUE FALSE 3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
    TRUE FALSE 4. Vagina is a medical term for "Heart Attack".
    TRUE FALSE 5. The clitoris is a type of flower.
    TRUE FALSE 6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
    TRUE FALSE 7. Semen is a term for sailors.
    TRUE FALSE 8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
    TRUE FALSE 9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
    TRUE FALSE 10. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
    TRUE FALSE 11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
    TRUE FALSE 12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
    TRUE FALSE 13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
    TRUE FALSE 14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
    TRUE FALSE 15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
    TRUE FALSE 16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
    TRUE FALSE 17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
    TRUE FALSE 18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
    TRUE FALSE 19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
    TRUE FALSE 20. Douche is the French word for 'twelve.'
    TRUE FALSE 21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
    TRUE FALSE 22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
    TRUE FALSE 23. Pornography is the business of making records.
    TRUE FALSE 24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
    TRUE FALSE 25. An erection is when Japanese people vote.

    Scoring answers: 1. False, 2. False, 3. False, 4. False, 5. False, 6. False,
    7. False, 8. False, 9. False, 10. False, 11. False, 12. False, 13. False,
    14. False, 15. False, 16. False, 17. False, 18. False, 19. Both True and False are correct,
    20. False, 21. False, 22. False, 23. False, 24. False, 25. False

    15 or more correct answers is EXCELLENT
    You have a well-rounded knowledge of sexual issues and are able to
    understand and appreciate humorous innuendos on TV.

    8 to 14 correct answers is AVERAGE
    If female, you may be fooled by preditory males seeking release,
    and are probably already a mother, or currently pregnant.
    If male, you may have already fathered a number of children,
    but are still able get busy on Saturday night, although you are
    at high risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases.

    0 to 7 correct answers is IGNORANT
    You operate in a world of heresay and misinformation about
    sexual issues and probably do not know where babies
    come from. It is advised that you keep your clothes on at all
    times when in the company of the opposite sex to avoid
    pregnancy and disease.

  2. #2
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