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  1. #1
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    Honey Not Tonight

    Date: Nov 29, 2006 7:51 PM
    Subject Honey Not Tonight!
    Body: Honey, Not Tonight:

    I have never understood why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.

    FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

    The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

    So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
    for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

    She then responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
    for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?"

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep...

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.

    We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

    She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

    She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for each outfit".

    We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

    Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

    I started to think she was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

    Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

    He r face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT?"

    I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
    satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  2. #2
    bayern's Avatar
    bayern is offline Officer First Class
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    Honey

    I understand what you are sayng. My wife told me that a while ago, and I said, OK, guess I'll go check out my girl friend. Bit of advice DO NOT TELLL HER THAT. Creates a whole lot of trouble (for you). Just hold her, and she will come around when you asked if it was a waste to take the Viagra.

  3. #3
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    this was a joke a friend sent to me, acctually i have the opposite problem a wife thats horrnier than me. does everybody feel sorry for me. lol!!
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  4. #4
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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    Quote Originally Posted by ida40dj View Post
    this was a joke a friend sent to me, acctually i have the opposite problem a wife thats horrnier than me. does everybody feel sorry for me. lol!!
    Lucky guy.....
    ...........................................

  5. #5
    BigDawg's Avatar
    BigDawg is offline K-9 Officer
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    ida I can truely understand. My wife is by far hornier than I am. She wants it ALL the time!!!




    God I love my wife!!!
    "An Unarmed man can only flee from evil, and evil is not overcome by fleeing from it." Jeff Cooper


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    The statements posted by BigDawg DO NOT reflect the opinions, views, policies, or procedures of the author's employing agency. These statements are the personal opinions of BigDawg only, thereby releasing my agency of any liability, or involvement in anything posted under the user name of BigDawg. The opinions expressed by BigDawg are protected by the 1st Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. BigDawg’s messages are intended to invoke thought and discussion among the "Officer Resources" forum community and may not necessarily reflect the opinion of the author. BigDawg’s posts and any attachments are intended for an adult audience (18+) and may contain strong language, sexual content, nudity, violence, and may be graphic in nature. Some material may be considered offensive; reader discretion is advised. Please note that many of BigDawg’s posts are intended for entertainment value only. BigDawg’s posts are not intended to be used where prohibited by law. Furthermore, BigDawg's posts, and any attachments, may contain information covered by the Electronic Communications Privacy Act, 18 U.S.C. 2510-2521, and is confidential and proprietary in nature. If you are not the intended recipient, please be advised that you are legally prohibited from retaining, using, copying, distributing, or otherwise disclosing this information in any manner.

 

 

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