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  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    Twenty Nine Lines To Make You Smile

    TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE



    1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
    He thought he was God and I didn't.

    2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

    3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

    4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

    5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

    6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

    7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

    8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

    9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

    10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

    11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

    12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

    13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

    14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

    15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

    16.. Being "ov er the hill" is much better than being under it!

    17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

    18.. Procrastinate Now!

    19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

    20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

    21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

    22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

    23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

    24..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

    25..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

    26..Ham and eggsA day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

    27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

    28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

    29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

    You can't avoid gossip & rude words from
    people. You can't please everybody. But remember, they wouldn't bother if you meant nothing.


    FOLLOW RSA ON TWITTER (IF YOU'RE GOING TO FOLLOW ME, PLEASE SEND ME A MESSAGE ON HERE WITH YOUR O/R USERNAME AND TWEET USERNAME SO I'LL KNOW WHO I'M ACCEPTING OTHERWISE YOU WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!)
    https://twitter.com/RESIDENTSMARTAS



    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    smiling


    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
    Ben

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)


    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan



  3. #3
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    #16 sometimes.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

 

 

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