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  1. #1
    CelticCop's Avatar
    CelticCop is offline The Dark Lord
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    Redneck vs. Gator

    >>>> A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to
    >>>>throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also
    >>>>invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
    >>>> He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
    >>>> Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters
    >>>> and BBQ and flirting with all the women.
    >>>> At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating
    >>>> gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the
    >>>> nerve to jump in."
    >>>> The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash
    >>>> and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
    >>>> Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing
    >>>> the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and
    >>>> choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator
    >>>> through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
    >>>> The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the
    >>>> gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator
    >>>> and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish. Leroy then slowly
    >>>> climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
    >>>> Finally the host says, "Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million
    >>>> dollars."
    >>>> "No, that's okay. I don't want it," said Leroy.
    >>>> The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the
    >>>> bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
    >>>> "No thanks. I don't want it," answered Leroy.
    >>>> The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was
    >>>> amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock
    >>>> options?"
    >>>> Again Leroy said no.
    >>>> Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"
    >>>> Leroy said, "I want the name of the sumbitch who pushed me in the
    >>>> pool.
    "Where's your towel Arthur?" -Ford Prefect

    "You! On your knees!" -Green Jello

    Some take delight in the carriages a rollin'
    and some take delight in the hurley and the bowlin',
    I take delight in the juice of the barley,
    and courtin' pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early...

    "You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of..." Cmdre. Norrington "Ah, but you have heard of me." Capt. Jack Sparrow

    Warning my statements do not reflect the policies, procedures or views of my agency. As a matter of fact, they think I'm just as nuts as you do, so shove it and blow it out of your fart tube.

  2. #2
    Star Man's Avatar
    Star Man is offline Guns only have two enemies; rust and politicians
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  3. #3
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Funny most because of the absurdity of these rednecks being able to do a damn thing other than drink, belch, and make meth.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  4. #4
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
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    Thats funny ...

    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  5. #5
    dla4079's Avatar
    dla4079 is offline Corporal
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    LMAO, that was good.

    Capt. D. Larimore
    NTISF Gang Unit



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