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Thread: just for laughs

  1. #1
    BEK's Avatar
    BEK
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    just for laughs

    I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, Lola, and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog......Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO. I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital? I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to need to be carried out of the door.


  2. #2
    Terminator's Avatar
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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....that was SOOOO something I would do! Awesome!

  3. #3
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    "Here's your sign!!!!"

    I could never keep a straight face long enough to get to the punch line if I ever tried that on someone!!!

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  4. #4
    Just KC's Avatar
    Just KC is offline Who?......Me?
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    OMG, how frickin funny!! Some people are so gullible!
    **********************
    ~Karie

    "I used to care
    but now I take a pill for that"

  5. #5
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Perfect. Proud of you, man. Maybe she will think twice before giving one of the stupid conversation starter lines.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  6. #6
    Copper51's Avatar
    Copper51 is offline Up all night
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    I don't care who you are, thats funny.
    The statements and opinions made here are of Copper51's only. They do not reflect my department or the city I work for.
    So lay off, I'm offduty and spouting off.

  7. #7
    Roses's Avatar
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    Your bad!!!

    Very funny!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

  8. #8
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    Thats awesome. hahahahahahahhahaaa
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  9. #9
    Copper51's Avatar
    Copper51 is offline Up all night
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    Tried giving rep but I got this message, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BEK320 again." I tried.
    The statements and opinions made here are of Copper51's only. They do not reflect my department or the city I work for.
    So lay off, I'm offduty and spouting off.

  10. #10
    Crimebytes2's Avatar
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    I HATE Wal-Mart with a passion, but I would have overlooked that fact just to see the tall guys reaction.

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Copper51 View Post
    Tried giving rep but I got this message, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BEK320 again." I tried.
    Taken care of Copper51!

  12. #12
    Lo523's Avatar
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    OMG that is so funny!
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  13. #13
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    Bwahahahah that is awesome!! Expect rep when I can give it to you again!!

    I hate lines, a couple years ago before I turned 18 I tried to buy spray paint at Wal-mart for a project, and of course I couldn't because I wasn't old enough. This old cranky lady was behind me and decided it would be appropriate to project her input when the lady said I wasn't old enough to buy it and says rudely, "hmm wonder what you were going to use that for?" and I looked straight at her and said "I'm not going to lie I was going to huff it, that's why my parents won't buy it for me anymore." By the look on her face and how pale she got I thought I had killed her. Then I walked away. She's probably dead now, I should feel bad.
    Thereís a promise I need you to make
    While Iím gone you take care of the love
    And Iíll deal with the hate.

    Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
    Just care for your children and sleep tight
    Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
    ~
    On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado

  14. #14
    KaiGywer's Avatar
    KaiGywer is offline *insert witty remark here*
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    Nice stories both Ben and Autumn Funny
    Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
    ΑΦΣ

  15. #15
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    But.....




    do you have a dog???
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  16. #16
    10-42Adam's Avatar
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    Hahahahaha that sounds like something my father would do.

    I'll never forget, when I was younger he had deer meat for dinner one night. (I forget the name for it) Anyway, the next day we went out Christmas tree hunting. Well to our amusement he was galloping around the tree farm all damn morning acting like a deer...

    Calm Like A Bomb...

    ďA pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.Ē
    -Winston Churchill

 

 

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