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  1. #1
    ida40dj's Avatar
    ida40dj is offline Officer First Class
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    why i fired my secretary

    Why I fired my secretary
    >Last week was my birthday
    >and I didn't feel very well
    >waking up on that morning.
    >I went downstairs for breakfast
    >hoping my wife would be pleasant
    >and say, "Happy Birthday!", and
    >possibly have a small present for me.
    >As it turned out,
    >she barely said good morning,
    >let alone "Happy Birthday."
    >I thought...
    >Well, that's marriage for you,
    >but the kids....
    >They will remember.
    >My kids came bounding down stairs to
    >breakfast and didn't say a word.
    >So when I left for the office,
    >I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
    >As I walked into my office,
    >my secretary Jane said,
    >"Good Morning Boss,
    >and by the way Happy Birthday! "
    >It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
    >I worked until one o'clock,
    >when Jane knocked on my door
    >and said, "You know,
    >It's such a beautiful day outside,
    >and it is your Birthday,
    >what do you say we go out to lunch,
    >just you and me."
    >I said, "Thanks, Jane,
    >that's the greatest thing
    >I've heard all day..
    >Let's go!"
    >We went to lunch.
    >But we didn't go
    >where we normally would go.
    >She chose instead a quiet bistro
    >with a private table.
    >We had two martinis each
    >and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
    >On the way back to the office,
    >Jane said, "You know,
    >It's such a beautiful day...
    >We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
    >I responded,
    >"I guess not. What do you have in mind?"
    >She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
    >After arriving at her apartment,
    >Jane turned to me and said,
    >" Boss, if you don't mind,
    >I'm going to step into the bedroom
    >for just a moment.
    >I'll be right back."
    >"Ok," I nervously replied.
    >She went into the bedroom and,
    >after a couple of minutes,
    >she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .
    >Followed by my wife, my kids,
    >and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday.
    >And I just sat there...
    >On the couch...
    Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things!

  2. #2
    JLK's Avatar
    JLK is offline Protecting Those That Can't Protect Themselves
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    hate when that happens.

    "A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."

    The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
    on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
    expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
    brought my rifle."
    (just stole this one hope you don't mind)

    The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they are ignorant,
    it is just that they know so much that isn't so.
    President Ronald Reagan

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    ha ha!

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown



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