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Thread: Purina Diet

  1. #1
    markw76's Avatar
    markw76 is offline Guy behind the mic
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    Purina Diet

    > I was in a supermarket buying a large bag of Purina
    > for the dog and got in line to check out.
    >
    > A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
    >
    > I was feeling a bit playful so on impulse, I told her no, I was
    > starting The Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
    > shouldn't do this because even though I had list 50 pounds
    > the last time, I had wound up in intensive care with tubes coming
    > out of everywhere and IV's in both arms.
    >
    > Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the
    > story. She was totally buying it.
    >
    > I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
    > works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and
    > simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The Purina
    > package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
    > try it again.
    >
    > Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me
    > and was that why I ended up in the hospital?
    >
    > I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and two
    > cars ran off the road and a third one hit me.
    >
    > I thought the lady was going to have a syncopal episode.
    Last edited by markw76; 01-17-07 at 09:37 PM.
    "Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible actions." ~ George Washington.

    A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers.

  2. #2
    Jenna's Avatar
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    This sounds distressingly similar to BEK's story.

    http://www.lawenforcementforums.com/...ad.php?t=12139

    Awww, now I'm totally disillusioned--I thought BEK was talking about something he actually did! Does he not even have a dog named Lola?

  3. #3
    markw76's Avatar
    markw76 is offline Guy behind the mic
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    Well, I just got it in my email...at least I put mine in the joke thread...oh, he did too. You're easy, aren't you?
    "Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible actions." ~ George Washington.

    A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers.

  4. #4
    Jackalope's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by markw76 View Post
    You're easy, aren't you?
    Now THAT'S funny!

    "I'm not a coward,
    I've just never been tested
    I'd like to think that if I was,
    I would pass"
    ~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~

 

 

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