The Official Moron Test

[BEK]

The Official Moron Test


1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

4. How many outs are there in an inning?

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark?

11. A butcher in the market is 5'10" tall. What does he weigh?

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?

13. What was the President's name in 1960?

Here are the answers:

1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No?
...Yes. It comes right after the 3rd.

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
....One (1). You can only be born once.

3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28?
....Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days.

4. How many outs are there in an inning?
... Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning.

5. Can a man in California marry his widow's sister?
...No. He must be dead if it is his widow.

6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get?
.... Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60.

7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with?
.Two (2). You take two apples, therefore YOU have TWO apples.

8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last?
.....One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only one hour has passed.

9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left?
.... Nine (9). Like I said, all BUT nine die.

10. How many animals of each sex did Moses have on the ark?
..... None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark.

11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10 tall. What does he weigh?
.... Meat ... that is self-explanatory.

12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen?
..Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? Twelve. It's a dozen.

13. What was the President's name in 1960?
..Georgw W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.



So, how did we do?

13 correct.........GENIUS...you are good.

10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head.

7-9 correct........AVERAGE...but who wants to be average?

4-6 correct..........SLOW...pay attention to the questions!

1-3 correct..........IDIOT...what else can be said?

0 correct......CONGRATULATIONS, you are a certified MORON!

[jmur5074]

10-12 correct....ABOVE AVERAGE...but don't let it go to your head

I got 6, 8, and 12 wrong

I always get screwed up with the Moses question (It was Noah who had the Ark)

And I suck at math. haha

[Piggybank Cop]

Copied saved and printed.

I’m giving it to my sergeant tomorrow; this will solve the argument amongst us guys on how smart he really is.

[BEB]

Copied saved and printed.

I’m giving it to my sergeant tomorrow; this will solve the argument amongst us guys on how smart he really is.

Run this by him.

"On a day with absolutely calm wind, a plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyor). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyor moves in the opposite direction. The conveyor has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyor to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the airplane ever take off?"

[jmur5074]

"On a day with absolutely calm wind, a plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyor). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyor moves in the opposite direction. The conveyor has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyor to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the airplane ever take off?"

What the hell did you just say?

[General Patten]

Run this by him.

"On a day with absolutely calm wind, a plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of band conveyor). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyor moves in the opposite direction. The conveyor has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyor to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the airplane ever take off?"

sure, if its a harrier. ...or if they turn off the conveyor...

[TXCharlie]

Yes, it will be able to take off - The plane doesn't have to push against the conveyor belt to build speed, it pushes against the air (or in the case of a rocket or jet, it's pushing against the inertia of the stuff it's throwing out). And at the beginning, both are at zero MPH, so the only effect the conveyer belt can have is that the plane's wheels will spin twice as fast.

If it was a car, the car would appear to be standing still.

On the other hand, I failed BEK's test miserably...

A couple of other questions you might ask:
* What do cows drink?

* If you're in a boat in the middle of the lake, and toss an anchor overboard which hits the bottom of the lake, does the lake level rise or fall? What would the lake level do if the rope is too short, and the anchor never hit bottom?







Answers:
* A lot of people say "Milk", but cows only drink water - Calves drink milk

* In the first scenario the lake level would fall - When the anchor was in the boat, it displaced its weight worth of water, but when it hit bottom, it was displacing only its volume of water. Since steel weighs more than water, the anchor was causing the boat to displace more water while it was in the boat than when it hit the bottom. And when the boat rises, the level of the lake will fall.

However, if the rope is too short, then the anchor is still displacing its weight of water, therefore the lake level wouldn't change if it was just hanging from the boat and never touched the bottom of the lake.

[Piggybank Cop]

You're making my head hurt.

[BEB]

Charlie nailed the aircraft one. I liked the boat quandary - and I failed it. My error was on the third part with the volume displacement when still attached to the boat I took it as unattached mass too soon. Though with a good defense lawyer I could get off on a technicality as the scenario it didn't state if the anvil had achieved rope extension yet.

Anyone else have one? These are fun and useful analysis games, even when you fail.

[TXCharlie]

You're making my head hurt.

Mission accomplished