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Thread: Deathbed Lawyer

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    Deathbed Lawyer

    Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
    He was looking for loopholes!

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    Jenna's Avatar
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    Sheesh, what's with all the lawyer jokes today? Did you just get sued or something?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenna View Post
    Sheesh, what's with all the lawyer jokes today? Did you just get sued or something?
    No. I Don't think so. DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING THAT I DONT KNOW.


    WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

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    Too funny!


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

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    What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead skunk in the middle of the road?

    There'll be skid marks by the skunk.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    You know why there's only two pallbearers at a lawyers funereal?

    ...Because there's only two handles on a trash can.
    "Don't make me climb down from this horse"
    http://www.myspace.com/capt_brian


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    What's the difference between a Lawyer and a carp?

    One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a fish.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    Aw, lawyers are people too!


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    2 Lions were following a herd of Elephants. Everytime one of the Elephants crapped, one of the Lions would run forward and eat it. Finally after this happened 5 or 6 times, the other Lion asked him what he was doing. "I just ate a Lawyer, and I'm trying to kill the taste." he replied.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

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    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any cop from Houston. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputy's expense.

    Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

    Lawyer says, "What for?"

    Deputy says, " You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

    Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

    Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

    Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

    Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

    Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

    Deputy says, "Sounds fair, exit your vehicle, sir." At this point the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"
    "Don't make me climb down from this horse"
    http://www.myspace.com/capt_brian


 

 

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