Dear employees

It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversations with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do however realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1. TRY SAYING - i think you could do with more training.
INSTEAD OF - you don't have a f*cking clue, do you.

2. TRY SAYING - shes an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF - shes a f*cking power crazy b*tch.

3. TRY SAYING - perhaps i could work late.
INSTEAD OF - and when the f*ck do you expect me to do this.

4. TRY SAYING - I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF - f*ck of a*rse-wipe.

5. TRY SAYING - really?
INSTEAD OF - well, f*ck me backwards with a telegraph pole.

6. TRY SAYING - perhaps you check with. . .
INSTEAD OF - tell someone who gives a f*ck.

7. TRY SAYING - I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF - not my f*cking problem mate.

8. TRY SAYING - thats interesting.
INSTEAD OF - what the f*ck.

9. TRY SAYING - I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given time scale.
INSTEAD OF - no f*ckin chance mate.

10. TRY SAYING - it will be tight but ill try to schedule it in.
INSTEAD OF - why the f*ck didn't you tell me that yesterday.

11.TRY SAYING - he's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF - he's got his head up his f*ckin a*se.

12.TRY SAYING - excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF - Oi f*ck face.

13. TRY SAYING - of course, i was only going to be at home anyway.
INSTEAD OF - yeah who needs f*ckin holidays anyway.

Thank You

Human Resources