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  1. #1
    Resident Smart Ass's Avatar
    Resident Smart Ass is offline I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE
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    New Drugs For Women

    NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

    DAMNITOL
    Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

    EMPTYNESTROGEN
    Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

    ST. MOMMA'S WORT
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

    PEPTOBIMBO
    Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

    DUMBEROL
    When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

    FLIPITOR
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    MENICILLIN
    Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "

    BUYAGRA

    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.


    JACKASSPIRIN
    Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

    ANTI-TALKSIDENT
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

    NAGAMENT
    When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth
    Don't you just hate it when someone's balls are hidden so well, they can't seem to find it themselves ~ RSA

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    A PINT OF SWEAT SAVES A GALLON OF BLOOD ~ PATTON



  2. #2
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
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    I'll take a bottle of flipitor and a couple of jackasspirin. And a case of Damnitol!
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
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    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by njpd View Post
    NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN

    ANTI-TALKSIDENT
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
    Does it have to be used exclusively on elevators?
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

 

 

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