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  1. #1
    Lo523's Avatar
    Lo523 is offline Master Officer
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    A successful Rancher.

    A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she placed an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

    She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

    He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked hard and the ranch was doing very well.

    Then one day, the rancher's widow said, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town on Saturday night.

    He returned around 2:30am and, upon entering the living room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

    She quietly called him over to her.

    "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed.

    "Now take off my boots." He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

    "Now take off my socks." He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

    "Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the firelight.

    "Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

    Then she looked at him and said:


    "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired!"
    Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.

  2. #2
    hybrid's Avatar
    hybrid is offline Corporal
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    lol, nice.....I was getting excited there for a minute, damnit...... I was hoping for some weird kind of sex or something.

  3. #3
    Roses's Avatar
    Roses is offline Member
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    Good one! ROFL!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

 

 

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