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  1. #1
    Abby's Avatar
    Abby is offline My mommy says I'm special.
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    Politically Correct

    Don't know if this is a repost, but I thought this was funny.

    Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans
    and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as"HILLBILLIES."

    You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

    And furthermore .......

    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

    2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

    3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

    4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

    5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

    6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


    HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

    1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

    2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

    3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

    4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

    5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

    6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
    Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams.

  2. #2
    pc830cop's Avatar
    pc830cop is offline Just another squirrel looking for a NUT
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    Talking

    Used Breasted American on a booking slip an hour after reading it. Sgt at the jail had no sense of humor. The Deputies got a real laugh!


    Searching for Evil and the Perfect donut (Love that book)

    "It's not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you"
    -Batman Begins

    There are gains for all our losses
    There are balms for all our pain
    But, when youth, the dream, departs
    It takes something from our hearts
    And it never comes again

    "Captain, it is I Ensign Pulver. I just threw your damn palm tree overboard. Now, what's all this crap about no movie tonight?" -Ens Pulver in Mister Roberts

    The man who will go where his colors go, without asking who will fight a phantom foe in the jungle and mountain range, without counting, and who will suffer and die in the midst of incredible hardship, without complaint, is still what he has always been, from Imperial Rome to sceptered Britain to democratic America. He is the stuff of which legions are made. ...His pride is in his colors and his regiment, his training hard and thorough and coldly realistic, to fit him for what he must face...and his obedience is to his orders. He has been called United State Marine.
    T.R. Fehrenbach, This Kind of War

  3. #3
    General Patten's Avatar
    General Patten is offline Surgeon General
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    Quote Originally Posted by pc830cop View Post
    Used Breasted American on a booking slip an hour after reading it. Sgt at the jail had no sense of humor. The Deputies got a real laugh!
    priceless
    SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING:
    Lead is very hazardous to your health.
    Always include Kevlar in your daily diet.


    "I always believe in being prepared, even when I'm dressed in white tie and tails."
    - Gen. George S. Patton, Jr.

 

 

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