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  1. #1
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
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    Those who "love" their jobs....

    LOVE MY JOB . . . . . .

    If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This
    is
    even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
    work think of this guy.

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
    performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
    station
    103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
    experience contest. Needless to say, she
    won.

    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
    bad
    day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
    thought I would share my dilemma with you
    to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

    Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
    few
    technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
    the
    sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the

    water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
    diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
    sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
    It
    then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
    the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
    several times with no complaints.

    What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
    and
    stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with
    warm
    water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

    Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
    itch.
    So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few

    seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
    the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
    The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
    suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
    couldn't
    stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not
    as fortunate.

    When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
    jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
    instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
    divers, were all laughing hysterically.

    Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
    agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
    before
    I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
    arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

    As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

    down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
    butt
    as soon as I got in the chamber.

    The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
    butt was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
    worse
    it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

    Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

    Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
    day?

    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!
    After the week I had at work, I needed to read this. May it help someone else to "Love" their job a little more!
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
    ______________________________ __________
    An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
    ______________________________ __________
    In vino veritas!

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Location
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    Bwahahaha, I definitely needed this today. Hahah! Thanks!
    Thereís a promise I need you to make
    While Iím gone you take care of the love
    And Iíll deal with the hate.

    Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
    Just care for your children and sleep tight
    Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
    ~
    On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado

  3. #3
    carolina's Avatar
    carolina is offline Master Officer
    Join Date
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    Here's another that will make you thankful ...

    I Hate My Job

    When you have an "I hate My Job" day, try this.

    On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

    Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair open the package and remove the thermometer.

    Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature and read it carefully.

    You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested".

    Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

    HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS


    Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. - Leo Buscaglia

  4. #4
    Ducky's Avatar
    Ducky is offline Enforcer General
    Supporting Member Lvl 3
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    Handbasket, enroute to somewhere hot.
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    I'm thinking the jellyfish had an even worse day than the diver did.
    \\
    ` ` ` ` < ` )___/\
    `` ` ` ` (3--(____)
    "...but to forget your duck, of course, means you're really screwed." - Gary Larson
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q


 

 

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