Those who "love" their jobs....

[kdm0409]

LOVE MY JOB . . . . . .

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This
is
even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at
work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio
station
103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest. Needless to say, she
won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad
day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you
to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few
technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of
the
sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the

water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a
diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It
then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to
the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it
several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and
stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with
warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
itch.
So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few

seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but
the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish
couldn't
stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not
as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
before
I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my
butt
as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my
butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse
it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad
day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

After the week I had at work, I needed to read this. May it help someone else to "Love" their job a little more!

[Autumn2009]

Bwahahaha, I definitely needed this today. Hahah! Thanks!

[carolina]

Here's another that will make you thankful ...

I Hate My Job

When you have an "I hate My Job" day, try this.

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested".

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE BUTT THAN YOURS

[Ducky]

I'm thinking the jellyfish had an even worse day than the diver did.