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  1. #1
    Willowdared's Avatar
    Willowdared is offline Bendy not Breaky
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    Light Bulb Jokes

    Light Bulbs
    How many METHODISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
    Whether your light is bright or not, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. A church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday.

    How many JEWISH RENEWAL RABBIS does it take to change a light bulb?
    Four, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called "The Jew in the Light Bulb." And one to lead a retreat weekend on the experience.

    How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
    Darkness is an Intelligent Design.

    How many Production Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    Three. One to screw in the light bulb, and two to wish they had been asked instead.

    How many Apple Employees does it take to change a light bulb?
    Seven. One to change the bulb, and six to design the T-shirt.

    How many computer engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Why bother. The socket will be obsolete in six months anyway.

    How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Depends on what you want it to change to.

    How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Three, but they're really one.

    How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
    CHANGE?! Did you say "change"?

    How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?
    That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. It just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It's all relative.

    How many Floridians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Don't know for sure, they're still counting.

    How many sound men does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One, two, three; one, two, three."

    How many supply side economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

    How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

    How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Two- one to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.

    How many consultants does it take to change a lightbulb?
    I'll have an estimate for you a week from Monday.

    How many Iraqis does it take to change a lightbulb?
    None. They don't have electricity anyway.

    How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?
    How many therapists do you think it takes to change a light bulb?

    How many liberal arts professors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    Interesting question. I just wonder if what we think of as a "darkness" is actually the absence of light, or a state of being, a -ness such that the lack of a lightbulb -- a thing -- creates its counterpart -- this thing we call "darkness."

    How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?
    No one knows, because no one watches the director!

    How many TV reporters does it take to change a light bulb?
    More at 11...

    How many HMO Administrators does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. Before they commit to a new light bulb, they suggest you try doing more things during daytime hours.

    How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None, they don't want to offend the lightbulb for not working.

    How many zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None, the zen master is the light bulb.

    How many mediators does it take to change a light bulb?
    So what I hear you saying is that you want more light.
    Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.

    Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
    or otherwise distort statements of fact.
    FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley

  2. #2
    Trojan 42's Avatar
    Trojan 42 is offline Retired Ninja
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    How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Only one, but the light bulb has really got to want to change.

    How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
    Who cares let them iron in the dark.
    To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.



    I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!

    It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!

  3. #3
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. They don't know they are in the dark.

    How many men does it take to change a kitchen light bulb?

    None. If she wants light, she can open the refrigerator.
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

 

 

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