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Thread: stupid jokes
02-12-07, 08:34 AM #1jrae Guest
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over ?
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only
ndays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southernfairytale
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
02-12-07, 09:39 AM #2
"A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others."
The old sheriff was attending an awards dinner when a lady commented
on his wearing his sidearm. "Sheriff, I see you have your pistol. Are you
expecting trouble?" "No Ma'am. If I were expecting trouble, I would have
brought my rifle."
(just stole this one hope you don't mind)
02-12-07, 10:06 AM #3
Yeppers they are.
We are the thin blue line
and all the money in the world.
And no you can't have any.
02-12-07, 12:44 PM #4
I like your humor.
02-12-07, 09:33 PM #5jrae Guest
02-12-07, 09:37 PM #6
OMG I'm e-mailing these to my Sgt. He's the master of corny jokes!Thereís a promise I need you to make
While Iím gone you take care of the love
And Iíll deal with the hate.
Donít worry about me; Iíll be all right
Just care for your children and sleep tight
Iíll keep you safe on my watch tonight
On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado
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