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02-13-07, 03:41 AM #1
Attention Ladies! "A thief amongst us"
I'm sure that most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen, while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. And what's even worse, it is happening every day.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body, and woke up with someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these, and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, very hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life, in jeans and Sheer Energy pantyhose. Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again.
My 'butt' was next!
I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. I couldn't believe that my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.
It was two years ago, when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated, as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and from with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.
AGE? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.
What could they do to me next?
My poor neck suddenly disappeared, faster than the Thanksgiving turkey it now resembled. That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself.
Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee. That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using.
You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you? The next time you suspect someone has had a face 'lifted,' look again. Was it lifted from you? I think I finally found my thighs -- and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!
This is not a hoax! This is happening to women in every town, every night.
WARN YOUR FRIENDS!!
P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
Good luck ladies! Be watchful and very alert so maybe you can prevent these thieves from attacking YOUR BODY as they have me and many of our friends and relatives!
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
02-13-07, 07:30 AM #2Banned
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Shocking that such thievery should occur in civilized society!
It is our duty to protect the ladies. I demand an immediate, and thorough investigation - inch by inch if necessary - of the crime scenes in question.
I won't ask you do do anything I wouldn't do myself. As such, I volunteer to be first to take on this task.
The line forms behind me. No shoving.
02-13-07, 08:28 AM #3
Im second in line!....any cuts? Ill give you a dollar
02-13-07, 09:29 PM #4
Pert bootie, smooth and tight, and fit easily in most jeans.Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact.FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
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