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  1. #1
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Since VD is coming

    Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow and "hallmark" is on alot of our minds,.... here are some all-occasion cards, you wont find in the store...come on now,couldnt you use at least one of them at some point???

    I know some people I could send these to, what about you?


    My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!

    Heard your wife left you; How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.

    Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... What was I thinking??!!

    Congratulations on your wedding day!
    (Too bad no one likes your spouse.)

    How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby???

    I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind.

    I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you.

    As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... that you're not here to ruin it for me.

    Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.

    Someday I hope to get married... But not to you.

    Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost lifelike!

    When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.

    I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.

    We have been friends for a very long time... What do ya say we call it quits?

    I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here.

    Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
    (Did you ever find out who the father was?)

    You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

    Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.

    Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
    (Available only in Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, )

  2. #2
    countybear's Avatar
    countybear is offline BDRT - Baby Daddy Removal Team
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    "The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
    - Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America

    Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
    That from the nunnery
    Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
    To war and arms I fly.
    - Lovelace

    The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.

  3. #3
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
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    VD is coming? Run! Hide! protect the goods!!

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  4. #4
    Piggybank Cop's Avatar
    Piggybank Cop is offline Nobody important.
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    PHEW; read the headline and thought someone had caught the clap.

    We are the thin blue line
    between you
    and all the money in the world.

    And no you can't have any.

  5. #5
    rob84's Avatar
    rob84 is offline Did you press the power button?
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    same here, lol

    www.twitter.com/RobKimble1984
    www.facebook.com/robkimble

  6. #6
    dapples's Avatar
    dapples is offline Swamp Kitty
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1sgkelly View Post
    PHEW; read the headline and thought someone had caught the clap.

    made you look hehehe

  7. #7
    Roses's Avatar
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    Those are all funny! Good ones!
    http://img455.imageshack.us/img455/1369/rosekdrosetransp9fk2eb.gif

    A Smile

    A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.

    It enriches those who receive it,
    without making poorer those who give.
    It takes but a moment, but the memory
    of it sometimes lasts forever.

    None is so rich or mighty that he
    can get along without it,
    and none is so poor but that
    he can be made rich by it.

    A smile creates happiness in the home,
    fosters goodwill in business,
    and is the countersign of friendship.

    It brings rest to the weary,
    cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,
    and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.

    Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,
    or stolen, for it is something that is of no
    value to anyone until it is given away.

    Some people are too tired to give you a smile.
    Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile
    so much as he who has no more to give.

    - author unknown

 

 

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