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Thread: Since VD is coming
02-13-07, 09:19 AM #1
Since VD is coming
Since Valentine's Day is tomorrow and "hallmark" is on alot of our minds,.... here are some all-occasion cards, you wont find in the store...come on now,couldnt you use at least one of them at some point???
I know some people I could send these to, what about you?
My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire, I noticed your cat. Sorry!
Heard your wife left you; How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.
Looking back over the years That we've been together, I can't help but wonder... What was I thinking??!!
Congratulations on your wedding day!
(Too bad no one likes your spouse.)
How could two people as beautiful as you... Have such an ugly baby???
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind.
I must admit, you brought religion into my life... I never believed in Hell till I met you.
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am... that you're not here to ruin it for me.
Congratulations on your promotion! Before you go... Would you like to take this knife out of my back? You'll probably need it again.
Someday I hope to get married... But not to you.
Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost lifelike!
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise.
I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend. So here's his leash, water bowl and chew toys.
We have been friends for a very long time... What do ya say we call it quits?
I'm so miserable without you. It's almost like you're here.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy!
(Did you ever find out who the father was?)
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday. So we're having you put to sleep.
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Tennessee, West Virginia, )
02-13-07, 11:14 AM #2
"The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money."
- Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy in America
Tell me not, Sweet, I am unkind,
That from the nunnery
Of thy chaste breast and quiet mind
To war and arms I fly. - Lovelace
The opinions expressed by this poster are wholly his own, and should never be construed to even remotely be in representation of his employer, its agencies or assigns. In fact, they probably fail to be in alignment with the opinions of any rational human being.
02-13-07, 11:35 AM #3
VD is coming? Run! Hide! protect the goods!!
02-13-07, 11:36 AM #4
PHEW; read the headline and thought someone had caught the clap.
We are the thin blue line
and all the money in the world.
And no you can't have any.
02-13-07, 11:45 AM #5
same here, lol
02-13-07, 09:04 PM #6
02-13-07, 09:13 PM #7
Those are all funny! Good ones!
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it,without making poorer those who give.It takes but a moment, but the memoryof it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that hecan get along without it,and none is so poor but thathe can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home,fosters goodwill in business,and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary,cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad,and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed,or stolen, for it is something that is of novalue to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile.Give them one of yours, as none needs a smileso much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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