The Canadian Dilemma

[213th]

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into
Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll
soon be required to hunt, pray & agree w/Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal-rights activists & Unitarians crossing
their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, &
there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba
farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer
was cold, exhausted & hungry.

He asked me if I could spare a latte & some free-range chicken.
When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show
him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected
higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing
speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real
effective," he said. "The liberals still got thru, & Rush annoyed the
cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,
drive them across the border & leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot
of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
border patrolman said. "I found one carload w/out a drop of drinking
water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border,
often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.
Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education Camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer & watch NA$CAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways
of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips To buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses & quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
passengers on Perry Como & Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were
alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence
Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants
are creating an organic-broccoli shortage & renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.

"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy
just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history
majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the U.S. & Canada, VP Dick
Cheney met w/the Canadian ambassador & pledged that the administration
would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.
"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined
to reach out," he said.

[conalabu]

Great, more room for the mexican flood.

[TXPO710]

Lets collect the ID's of those going to Canada and give them to those coming in from Mexico, at least the Mexicans would contribute something.