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  1. #1
    213th's Avatar
    213th is offline Solipsist
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    The Canadian Dilemma

    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into
    Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
    patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
    are prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll
    soon be required to hunt, pray & agree w/Bill O'Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
    sociology professors, animal-rights activists & Unitarians crossing
    their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, &
    there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba
    farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer
    was cold, exhausted & hungry.

    He asked me if I could spare a latte & some free-range chicken.
    When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show
    him my screenplay, eh?"

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected
    higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing
    speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real
    effective," he said. "The liberals still got thru, & Rush annoyed the
    cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
    liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons,
    drive them across the border & leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot
    of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario
    border patrolman said. "I found one carload w/out a drop of drinking
    water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border,
    often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives.
    Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
    re-education Camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
    beer & watch NA$CAR races.

    In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways
    of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
    bus trips To buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
    half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
    authorities began stopping buses & quizzing the supposed senior-citizen
    passengers on Perry Como & Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were
    alive in the '50s.

    "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence
    Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants
    are creating an organic-broccoli shortage & renting all the good Susan
    Sarandon movies.

    "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy
    just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history
    majors does one country need?"

    In an effort to ease tensions between the U.S. & Canada, VP Dick
    Cheney met w/the Canadian ambassador & pledged that the administration
    would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.
    "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put
    some endangered species on postage stamps. The President is determined
    to reach out," he said.
    He who has the money, signs the cheques.
    He who signs the cheques, makes the rules.
    He who makes the rules, has the power.
    He who has the power, has the money.

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Great, more room for the mexican flood.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    TXPO710's Avatar
    TXPO710 is offline Dumb ole' Cowboy
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    Lets collect the ID's of those going to Canada and give them to those coming in from Mexico, at least the Mexicans would contribute something.

 

 

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