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  1. #1
    Victor N TN Guest

    Man of the house

    The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."

    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.

    You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

    After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

    Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.

    You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

    Then, you will massage my feet and hands.

    Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"


    The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."
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  2. #2
    jrae Guest
    This is hilarious....Term better pay attention. haha. jk.

  3. #3
    kdm0409's Avatar
    kdm0409 is offline ^ Female Deputy
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    Right on!!!
    It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
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  4. #4
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Victor, making jokes at the expense of the male of our species really puts your "Mancard" in jeopardy!!! I'd suggest coming forth with something on the order of: "Why do women have smaller feet?" "So they can stand closer to the stove."
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  5. #5
    Victor N TN Guest

    Keith...

    Keith,

    I just post them when I find them. I'll probably get hits from the ladies when I start a round of "Blonde" jokes. My wife and one daughter and one grand daughter are BLONDE...



    Quote Originally Posted by keith758 View Post
    Victor, making jokes at the expense of the male of our species really puts your "Mancard" in jeopardy!!! I'd suggest coming forth with something on the order of: "Why do women have smaller feet?" "So they can stand closer to the stove."

  6. #6
    keith720's Avatar
    keith720 is offline Finely Aged
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    Both my daughters are blond. I just tell the jokes reaaaaaalllll slow!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  7. #7
    Pedro56's Avatar
    Pedro56 is offline Englewood Ranger/Infidel Extraordinaire
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    Quote Originally Posted by keith758 View Post
    Both my daughters are blond. I just tell the jokes reaaaaaalllll slow!
    Thats not nice to talk about them that way Dad.
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  8. #8
    keith720's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pedro56 View Post
    Thats not nice to talk about them that way Dad.
    Yeah, like they're gonna get it anyways!
    For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.

    Winston Churchill

  9. #9
    CelticCop's Avatar
    CelticCop is offline The Dark Lord
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    Ok... Why would you be dumb enough to go and tell her that after years of marriage? Ya gotta find one that's into that kind of thing before ya marry them. I know I have. And it's a good thing. But then again, she gets treated like a queen even when she's on the end of her leash.
    "Where's your towel Arthur?" -Ford Prefect

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    and some take delight in the hurley and the bowlin',
    I take delight in the juice of the barley,
    and courtin' pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early...


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