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Thread: Man of the house
02-22-07, 02:07 PM #1Victor N TN Guest
Man of the house
The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "You Can Be THE Man Of Your House."
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.
You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.
Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.
Then, you will massage my feet and hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess."
02-23-07, 01:04 PM #2jrae Guest
This is hilarious....Term better pay attention. haha. jk.
02-23-07, 02:30 PM #3
Right on!!!It is better to be tried by 12, than carried by 6.
An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break.
In vino veritas!
02-23-07, 02:35 PM #4
Victor, making jokes at the expense of the male of our species really puts your "Mancard" in jeopardy!!! I'd suggest coming forth with something on the order of: "Why do women have smaller feet?" "So they can stand closer to the stove."For the morning will come. Brightly will it shine on the brave and true, kindly upon all who suffer for the cause, glorious upon the tombs of heroes. Thus will shine the dawn.
02-23-07, 02:59 PM #5Victor N TN Guest
02-23-07, 04:15 PM #6
Both my daughters are blond. I just tell the jokes reaaaaaalllll slow!
02-23-07, 04:20 PM #7
"I am the guy that keeps Mister Dead in his pocket." -'Mad' Max Rockatansky
"An Englewood Ranger is no stranger to Danger.." -Unk
Good Night Chesty Where Ever You Are.
A Good Friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying, "That was Awesome."
God Made Police Men so Fireman Would Have Heroes.
02-23-07, 04:27 PM #8
02-23-07, 04:30 PM #9
Ok... Why would you be dumb enough to go and tell her that after years of marriage? Ya gotta find one that's into that kind of thing before ya marry them. I know I have. And it's a good thing. But then again, she gets treated like a queen even when she's on the end of her leash."Where's your towel Arthur?" -Ford Prefect
"You! On your knees!" -Green Jello
Some take delight in the carriages a rollin'
and some take delight in the hurley and the bowlin',
I take delight in the juice of the barley,
and courtin' pretty fair maids in the morning bright and early...
"You are, without a doubt, the worst pirate I've ever heard of..." Cmdre. Norrington "Ah, but you have heard of me." Capt. Jack Sparrow
Warning my statements do not reflect the policies, procedures or views of my agency. As a matter of fact, they think I'm just as nuts as you do, so shove it and blow it out of your fart tube.
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