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  1. #1
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    Top 8 Morons Of '06!

    1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership.He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it’s not Walter who’s lacking intelligence.

    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”

    3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

    4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

    5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn’t control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: “Give me all your money or I’ll shoot”, the man shouted, “that’s not what I said!”.

    6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the phone: “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart”. “Is this her first child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is her husband!”

    7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

    8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  2. #2
    conalabu is offline Grasshopper
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    Can't. Fix. Stupid.
    And Shepards we shall be,
    for thee, My Lord, for thee,
    Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
    That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
    So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
    And teeming with souls will it ever be.
    In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.

  3. #3
    lewisipso's Avatar
    lewisipso is offline Injustice/Indifference/In God we trust
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    Do not war for peace. If you must war, war for justice. For without justice there is no peace. -me

    We are who we choose to be.

    R.I.P. Arielle. 08/20/2010-09/16/2012


  4. #4
    jmur5074's Avatar
    jmur5074 is offline Moderator
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    I'm not saying those aren't true, but they didn't happen in 2006.

    I've read all of those from time to time, over the last few years.
    No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13

    "The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".

    We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
    The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.

  5. #5
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    I'm not saying those aren't true, but they didn't happen in 2006.

    I've read all of those from time to time, over the last few years.
    Ahhhh! Thanks! Thought they were funny!
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  6. #6
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
    I'm not saying those aren't true, but they didn't happen in 2006.

    I've read all of those from time to time, over the last few years.


    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

  7. #7
    TXCharlie's Avatar
    TXCharlie is offline Former & Future Reserve Officer
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    Quote Originally Posted by foxxymomma50 View Post
    2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, “Please come out and give yourself up.”
    lol

    (\__/)
    (='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
    (")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.

  8. #8
    foxxymomma50's Avatar
    foxxymomma50 is offline Master Officer
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    I know!!! LOL Thats my favorite one!
    "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

    "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious."


    "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself."

 

 

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